You can do it!! (Jane Fonda style motivation thread!!)

[QueenFlounce]

Following on from the massive "Going to have a good week" thread...

Sax - Calling your boy a "Stupid child" is NOT an example of a complete failure as a parent! I'm sure many many Mums here will admit to doing that even without a hint of depression! THEY ARE STRESSFUL! Especially with everything else you have to put up with.

I can't comment on the drinking coz I know I drink FAR too much..... I hide behind the "But I'm Scottish!" excuse alllllll the time.

HOWEVER, what I will say is that if drinking makes you feel even more low then its something you need to reconsider as a way to unwind and de-stress..... coz it's not working if you just feel shittier.

Come on, its Friday night... we're all drinking... lets have a bit of escapism from reality for a while and step back.

This is bad moment..... it doesn't mean tomorrow will be awful... or that your children will never forgive you for saying that. It just means that by the end of today you felt really stressed.

As for the work thing. Bringing up 3 young children, one with a condition that makes him even more hard work is you contributing to your family! Debts can be paid off when you feel stronger..... as long as they are not spiralling out of control then a couple of months is not going to make that much difference, is it?

Remember.... UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I aaaaaaaamm caaaaaaaaaaaaaalm.

Sax- you know what im like, i worry about everything!! so do me a favour and let me know if you're okay. Sorry about last night i had an online class. I hope your ok xxxxxxxxx

Financial shit - we've used up all our avenues - now dh hasn't been paid correctly we haven't got anywhere near enough, I've fucked up the accounts as well - I cannot deal with this!!!!!!! I really really really cannot deal with it!

Yes you can deal with it!
What are the alternatives??

You will cope!
Can you speak to the bank re: payments? Can you borrow from a relative?? Your DH's Employer cannot leave you in this financial state due to their error. Your DH needs to get that sorted NOW!

Already done the talking to bank before and already borrowed so no, as I said our avenues are all used up! We sell on ebay but they then charge and take money we make! but thats the only thing to do - I can't see beyond today right this minute, it doesn't seem that there is a tomorrow - hate this feeling..

Sax - In the longterm could you look into moving house? Perhaps to a smaller property or a cheaper property? You're immediate situation there is NOTHING you can do anyway.... your DH has to deal with this! WHERE IS HE?????

We don't own a house!!!!!!!!! we only rent! we moved south and used up all our money doing that and now haven't any money to buy - far too much debt now!
Dh has been trying to sort out some deals to sell some of his stuff! He is trying to sort out medal deals which may be the quickest option!

We've made a few very bad mistakes - we should never have moved north in the first place chasing a fucking stupid dream! We basically shouldn't be in this situation but now don't know how to get out of it!

Sorry Sorry Sorry Wobbly moment yesturday!!!!!! More rational today, thank you QF and Sorry

Sax - Don't ever feel embarassed about having a tough time! You have enough feelings to contend with without feeling as though you have to apologise on MN too!

Ah I see, you rent. So you've made a few mistakes.... you're not down and out yet though.

How are things today with everyone?

Hi All, I agree with QueenFlounce this thread should be an apology free zone....we're all friends here
This morning I'm coping so far ON MY OWN, however dd is sleeping so that maybe doesn't count. I don't know whether I'm doing myself any favours by leaning on other people so much, I could get too used to having help and then crumble again when help is not at hand (which I know it can't be all the time as people have their own lives). I keep thinking that maybe I am not the parenting type, although I really thought I would be a good mum the whole thing is just a bit overwhelming at times.

I hate the thought that dd might be affected by what's happening to me just now, that she might be picking up on my moods and that she realises my frustration....QF did you feel like this?

How's everyone else doing? I need to hear about other people's stuff so I don't get so self-absorbed!!

HappyHuggy, you should join us more often you know, especially as you say such nice things about us

Hello guys - sorry about the sorry! Just felt the need, you are all being so so kind and supportive.

Babynovice - Has the day continued OK with you being there on your own? Is dd having a settled day? I really wouldn't think too much about how this is affecting her though. Of course children are very sensitive to moods but it will not affect her long term. hopefully the more calm you feel on the tablets the more settled she will be! And as for motherhood being overwhelming - yes it is and its a huge responsibility which sometimes is very frightening. We just have to do our best because there is no handbook 'telling' us how to be good parents, just instinct and knowledge from experience.

I've been out this morning for ds1's little outing with his nursery to a farm. It was a good morning and good to be out and about not festering. I am feeling tired - tired of it all to be honest - dh is now working tonight so I need to remain a little more up becasue otherwise I'll sink again. I'm struggling to keep going and keep up this charade - BUT - hopefully after a night to myself, pleasing me and not having to speak to dh etc, I'll feel more refreshed! I will email you guys later too hopefully.

Hiya, is this the longest day in history or what?! Is it still Friday? This is what happens when you're watching the clock go round, wishing your life away.....I just wish I could enjoy being with dd, it makes me feel so awful when I know I should feel very lucky to have her.

Sax, what do you have planned for tonight? Make the most of your me-time and don't ponder too much if you think you might slide....nice bath, good book, early to bed etc. could be just what you need to recharge.

Hi Babynovice, yes I know - thinking is definately not the way tonight!!!!!!! I will have a nice bath, watch BB, msn with my friend and probably pop on here to see if there is a bar going! that sounds OK doesn't it! So, no i don't intend to think AT ALL, yet again hide away, ignore the phone (rather phone phobic!) and not get down. Oh and I forgot - I'm going to catch up on my emails - so look out tonight (I take it you don't do MSN!)

I'm sorry you are having such a long day! Hard when you are wishing it away but try to keep busy busy and it won't be long before your evening can start - any plans for you too???

That sounds like a good plan nothing too interesting for me tonight, usual night in front of TV with dp...BB tonight of course, check my e-mail of course, maybe even a spot of MN. I haven't got around to sussing MSN, might actually manage to do that tonight if I get time (I find anything that takes even one iota of brain power is hard work these days)...2 hours until dp gets back.....I can do it!

Thats the spirit BN - Of course you can do it - no worries - whose going to be evicted tonight then???????

OOOhhh just seen you said you may MN tonight - do come on and see if theres a bar going - I'll catch you on that thread too!!!!!!!

I think Maxwell out!

Hmm I think it's going to be Saskia...she looks like butter wouldn't melt BUT her true colours have been showing this week...nasty girl!
Hopefully speak to you later Sax, dd is waking up so must sign off
BTW I've no idea what these 'bar' things are that I see mentioned in posts all the time but have been too to ask!

In case you check this later - a bar is a thread that someone starts and usually has the wording bar in the title somewhere and everyone just catches up for a lighthearted chat - look out for wobblyknicks or wigwambam, they usually start them but others do too!!!!!!! Last week for instance was Fabarlous so that was that - who knows tonight, hopefully someone will get one going though!

Maybe catch you later BN and I know what you mean about saskia and true colours but thats why I think she will stay in for a bit of arguing!

Hey BN - you are counting down the minutes til dp gets back - I'm counting the opposite til dh goes to work - he's so f*ing unpredictable. He's just lost it with the kids so everyone stressed out yet again - I say anything right this minute and he will fly at me too (not literally, verbally cos of the stress) - sorry, just needed a quick moan - ds1 is so much easier to handle if he is calm so dh really doesn't help when he's like this!
Looking forward to later to my evening

QF - do not misjudge him on my last post - I asked for it to be deleted and it hasn't been - I was just mouthing off and shouldn't have written it, he does adore me and the children really. Half of the problem is I'm not pulling my weight so when things are untidy, left in a mess, toys everywhere, boys kicking off etc. its my fault so I can't blame him for being uptight really.

Queenflounce - good weekend???

You working hard?

Hey I've just spotted Gossifer - are you ignoring us over here!!!???? Hows' things?