Does anyone else regret having children?

[Zahora]

Does anyone else regret having your child? I loved my old life. My husband really wanted a child and I put it off for so long, just knowing that it's not my calling. I gave in after so many rows thinking I would adjust. It was either that or leave my husband whom I loved very much. My son is 2 years old and it has been such a lonely and desperate struggle. I feel like my wonderful life has turned upside down. I still do not feel like a mother. I look after my son full time, I even breastfed for a year, yet it just feels so ...hollow. It's not me. I miss my old life so much I just feel like walking out and leaving my husband and son. I hate playing in the park. I want to go to a gallery. I hate watching peppa pig- I want to read a novel. I hate going to playgroups - I want to have lunch with freinds. I do everything I can for my son and he is lovely. Yet motherhood so far has left me feeling like I have been conned out of my real life. Will life ever return to normal. Will my son feel that I am detached? I don't think I'm depressed. Has anyone else felt like this?

[Lovingmummy9]

As brave as most of you are on here I have so say you’re a minority and how anyone can regret their children is beyond me. Have you considered you may be depressed or have something else mentally underlying going on? It’s fine to admit you have these feelings but please please don’t let your children know you feel this way and do something about it. My grandmother has never really loved my father and left and then came back and it affects him even now. When he sees me cuddling my children he says ‘do you think my mum loved me like this? Did she cuddle me?’ He’s 70! The trauma is there now. Wish you and your kids the best. I’d die without mine x

[Popcornbetty]

I realise this is and old thread @Zahora and yours and pp's dc will be 12 years older now which seems crazy! If by chance anybody still gets notifications did things get better and feelings change as your dc grew?

[Popcornbetty]

Sorry wrong thread lol

[Popcornbetty]

Oh no it is the right thread but some newer replies confused me!

[Rainbowbaby500]

Hi everyone, wow I’ve just got to the end of this thread having stumbled across it while breastfeeding overnight and feeling low. This is my first Mumsnet post but I’ve often found threads so helpful (throughout pregnancy worries, TTC, labour etc). This one is no different although it has made me sad too. I feel as though I swing like a pendulum in terms of how I feel about my 7 month old baby girl - undying love one minute, red mist rage the next. I’ve been blaming hormones for a while but I hope it’s just the lack of sleep. I also think that pregnancy and being a new mum in a pandemic isn’t exactly ideal in terms of support from family, groups etc although we can do more now. I feel so different to my husband who is the picture of calm and never seems to feel the stresses I do - he says it’s because our baby girl is ‘tuned into my frequency’ so I feel immensely stressed when she cries. I just wanted to share really, this thread has made me feel a little better and I hope that that feeling continues to grow. Hugs to all xxx

[Agedandunsure]

Hey there,

I know this thread is so old now, but I’m a 36 year old scrolling through, who doesn’t know if she wants kids. My partner brought up the idea today and it made feel sick and shakey. I’m not a definite no, and that makes it harder.

I also have emetephobia and have always worried about being able to look after kids when they got sick. I don’t know if this has dampened any desire to have kids.

Did you have kids in the end and if so how did you cope?

[Agedandunsure]

Whoops, was hoping to stick that reply on to a previous post, @ejb199 if you’re still out there in the ether!