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can't take much more! :(

311 replies

sparklymieow · 14/05/2005 13:24

Some of you may have read my thread about my neighbours, I am feeling so drained and tired, DH is in deep depression and won't leave the house, I am trying to keep things as normal for the kids as possible, but they are wondering why daddy won't take them to school etc, I feel like I have been hit by a hammer, and can't do this much more, waiting for the comminutty policeofficer to phone me so I can get a letter so we can move as an emergnacy, the kids are fighting and screaming and I keep crying,

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Mhamai · 14/05/2005 23:44

oops sorry I meant mp

almostanangel · 14/05/2005 23:45

hi mharmi [wave wave]

almostanangel · 14/05/2005 23:46

and [hugs] to the sparkly,,wish i could help shall iget em shall i shall i ..!

sparklymieow · 14/05/2005 23:49

I know, Dh shouted at Dd2 yesterday and I had to calm him down and told him not to take it out on the kids, its not ther fault. The kids are keeping me sane atm and its luck they don't seem to realise what is going on, though DS does know that we will have to move. DD1 was demanding a choclate milk earlier and I had run out of powder and couldn't face going out there with them outside, so when my sister phoned and asked me to tranfer some cash into her account from mine, and she would drop the money down to me, I asked her to go to the shops for me....... such a wimp, ain't I??

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almostanangel · 14/05/2005 23:51

oh hunny hopefully soon you will be able to look back at all the crap your going though and blow a raspberry at it you are a wonderful sister to misdee and your luck will change

sparklymieow · 14/05/2005 23:55

I hope so, just hope the police will help us witha letter, as it was filed as a civil dispute!!!!!!!??

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tiffini · 14/05/2005 23:59

do you have a camera? You could take pictures of certain intances, like them parking their car across your driveway.

Mhamai · 15/05/2005 00:01

Hi AAA [waves back] sorry sparkly

almostanangel · 15/05/2005 00:02

nite all ..loadsa love luck and angel dust to sparkly*

sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 00:03

I have my mums camera, coz Dh lend our to socalled friend so I guess I can say goodbye to that.......

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Mhamai · 15/05/2005 00:04

Nite nite AAA and lots of [[[hugs]]]]] for you sparkly

tiffini · 15/05/2005 00:05

it would make fairly good evidence, just be careful they dont see you.

sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 00:06

its dark now, so I'll take a pic from my bedroom window tomorrow,

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tiffini · 15/05/2005 00:09

take a pic of anything that suggests they are tormenting you.
Have to go to bed now, long day 2morrow. Hope you get some sleep.

sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 00:09

ok thanks'..

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sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 00:57

been looking at the councils sites and they all say that we may have to go into a hostel or similar, surely because of the kids disabilities they would have to think about that, and realise that we couldn't go into a hostel, surely!!

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sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 08:47

kids got up and broke the PS2 this morning while they were fighting, had DD1 screaming first thing..... have taken some pics of their car across my drive... but have noticed that the parents car hasn't been there all night, hope they haven't gone away... feel cold and sick still....

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hub2dee · 15/05/2005 09:13

Sparkly, if you are trying to build up a police log, and you've already contacted them about the assaults and intimidation, then you could call the police about the car too. Whilst ordinarily, with no further info, they might think this would just be a case of two neighbours having squabbles, if they've got your record of incidents, and are made clear of your fear of going outside, and the threats on life etc. they will liaise with neighbour to get car moved.

I can understand how this can make the situation worse, sparkly, and you know I would never wish that upon you, but you only have a few choices:

Leave car where it is and remain feeling prisoner in own home till apeman decides to move it.

Talk to apeman and ask him to move it (which would probably be best as he will either do it or create another event for you to log with his verbal....)

Get the police out to do the talking to neighbour / force him to move it.

Another point: You say you have spoken to the parents of apeman with whom I believe you enjoyed 5 years of good neighbourliness... they sound reasonable. Have you spoken to them to outline clearly the extent of abuse / threats you have received from their son and his ape-mates ? I'd imagine that if they were reasonable, despite ape being their son, they would kick him out and tell him to sort himself out... because if the police / council get very involved, they may risk being evicted.

I know you've been in contact with lots of housing people / council people... can you confirm where things sit with the other agencies: police and GP ?

Finally, ref hostel: Of course it is never what you would want, but from my barest of understanding about the points system for calculating housing etc. it may be of benefit if you are in a hostel in order to get a decent place after that, IYSWIM. You were briefly on a thread which discussed this here . Have a re-read... might clarify things a bit ?

sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 09:35

They haven't moved it yet, have taken pics though, I could get off the drive if I really had too, but I feel so shakey that there is a chance I would smash into it. I can't speak to the parents because they are always there when their sons are there. Still waiting for the community officer to phone me. And I am going to the docs tomorrow, looked in the mirror this morning and saw how terrible I look, its shocking Was hoping to get to the shops this morning before they got up, but because of the car being there, I can't.

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hub2dee · 15/05/2005 10:04

The parents will probably before up well before apeman, at a guess.

Glad you are seeing GP on Monday. Prepare for your visit by writing down (SHORT) key threats / assaults so he clarly understands the situation, and do the same for your / dh's physical / mental state. Understand what ideally you want from his statement.. (am not sure what he can put in, ie. can he recommend a move or simply state impact on your health for another agency to react to ???).

Good luck hun. On a practical point, particularly if you have enough shopping to make it worthwhile, maybe you could schedule a home delivery from ocado etc. etc.... I am not trying to encourage you to stay at home, it will always be preferable to you to enjoy your liberty and get out and about, but thought I'd suggest it in case it helps.

BTW: You didn't answer re: police... have you called / visited them (when ? what was their reaction / any charges / crime numbers ?) or have you decided not to ?

X

sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 10:08

am waiting for the police to phone me, also want to know how a threat to life can be a civil dispute. My shopping came on Friday, ordered it from Sainsburys, and MIL is bringing some toliet rolls and bread for us. Make me sick that people like this get away with so much.... yet if we stabbed them (or whatever) in fear we would be arrested

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tiffini · 15/05/2005 10:32

Idont know if your HA works, but where i live if you are diagnosed as depressed due to your housing situation and are put on ADs you are mase a priority to move.

I dont thing hostels are offered all that often, but they have to make you aware it could happen. You would only be offered a hostel once you have enough points to move, they cant take those points off you if you refused a hostel and stayed where you are until a property came up.

And also i cant be sure, but i think hostels are generally given to people who have very few belongings. If they offered you a hostel they may have to help towards the cost of storing your furniture and that can be very expensive.

hub2dee · 15/05/2005 11:45

Hope you get the info you need. Make rough notes when you speak to them (and maybe decipher straight after so you're info is clear !). Ask two or three times for them to clairfy specific details you aren't quite sure of, they won;t mind. They'll be as keen as you to get a resolution, and you can bet your bottom dollar, they won't be 'siding' with apeman.

X

sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 12:00

he moved it!! just had MIl and FIL round, and they think its disgusting that he can get away with so much.

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sparklymieow · 15/05/2005 12:47

just had an arguement with DH because the kids wanted to play outside and he didn't want them too. I refused to keep the kids in on a lovely day.

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