A new thread for stressedmummy

[soapbox]

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Hope your night shift was not too hectic natts!

night shift great not to bad at all.
Glad you stood up to h and let ds go to his nanny's. I'm still worried that he is being punished for the wandering around class thingy. Do you think you could say to H that actually it's not ds fault it's because he is anxious and afraid of him why he's behaving like that. Does ds know you don't think he is a naughty boy? I know it's easy for me to say because my abusive relationship was a long time ago now, and things are great with future h. but I can't imagine ever letting anyone upset and bully my kid's. over my dead body. Your son will end up needing councilling and more if h is allowed to intimidate him like this. Even if my kid's have done something naughty I wouldn't drag it on and on with the punishment for days at a time. He needs to take a good long look in the mirror.
I can't remember what you said about h and his father throwing away his toy. did h tell you this? perhaps you could use that as a reminder and ask him how that made him feel!
I'm not meaning to sound judgmental in anyway, but I can't believe ds is treated like this. Kids need to be nurtured and cherished in order to thrive.
Take care of yourself and continue to get strong. And don't you let H pick on him when he gets back from nanny's, or i'll come down there and sit on h and fart. and i'm 19st

Hey sm just checking in briefly - great news that you stood up to h - keep those bravers on girl!!

i am back on again properly tomorrow for a proper catch up x

Hi SM, how r u today? Well done you for sticking up for DS2

I'll be back later as got lots to do - mostly chores

Hugs to all xxxxx

Sorry, meant DS1

Oh, SM - I want to hug you for standing up to H like that. Your description of your poor little boy dropping his bear to the floor made me cry. Well done for protecting him. Just watch out for what your H might do to feel that he still has the upper hand (everyone reacts as soon as a power realtionship is challenged!)- but keep calm and keep standing firm for what you believe is right.
Hope you have a better week.
XXXXXXX

Are you ok? am worried.

I am here!
Sorry to worry you. I have been at work today & all Hell is breaking loose in the form of the children!!!
Ds2 (aged 2) has been having tantrums every 2 minutes & ds1 is being demanding!
H is working late shift all week, which means he is out of the house from around 1pm until 10pm.
I cannot wait until they are both in bed!!!
Your comment about farting in my H's face made me natts!

thank god for that. glad i could make you laugh. my dd age 5 and ds age2.5 have been at home all day driving me crazy.dd off school because she was sick yesterday and son has it coming out the other end. great. both however are better today but need to be here to stop spread. I'm in work tonight and no nap again. oh well. been sorting out dd room. too many toys had a good clear out.
take care. how you feeling today?

I will feel better when these 2 are in bed, put it that way!
Sorry to hear you have poorly children.
Stomach bugs are the pitts are they not?
H has not been around to get to me today, so I am not too bad emotionally today.
He works loads of horrible un sociable shifts & I get stressed that I always have to cope with the kids alone, but then when he is around again I always wish he was back at work.

yes bugs really are the pits, so are kids who have all but recovered and are ready to drive there tired mummies mad. I suffer with D and have had a couple of extra low days, so my patients are not great today.role on bed time aye!

i guess you in a catch 22, you want him at home to support you and when he is he puts a strain on you at the same time.bloody men GGRRRRRRRrrrrr

Sorry to hear you have had a couple of down days
I know just how that feels.
It is a catch 22 situation in my house regarding H's long shifts & the fact that when he is around things become so tense, that I wish he was not around again.
I can sense that the kids whinging etc (which I put up with alone most of the time) can make H so mad & say nasty things etc, so I go out of my way to try & keep things as calm as possible.

Are you on nights tonight again natts?

i'm so sorry you have such a lot to worry about. you \really need a plan though hun, whatever you decide. nothing will get better on it's own. try writing your self a list of pro's and cons of staying and see how it looks.

yes I'm on the ward tonight, not delivery. what work do you do?

Writing a list of pros & cons is a good idea natts.
I know things will not get better on there own & I need to do something.
I plucked up courage to tell him on Saturday evening that he MUST stop punishing ds1 for his lack of social skills at school, because it will just make it worse.
I did this when the kids were in bed & H was in a calm mood.
He was all defensive at first, but then actually seemed to take on board what I had said.
I work in a primary school, so I have kids all day & all night!!!

Glad to hear you managed to have a chat with H, maybe it'll sink in soon.

@ Natts and farting on your H

Hope you're ok SM and enjoying your rest now the kids are (hopefully) in bed

They are in bed all right!
ds2 was up there at about 6.30pm!!!
I live in hope that I have got through to H on this one, as shouting at him for the anxious way he behaves at school, will definitely make things worse.
I haven't even had a drink tonight, which is a first for me!!!

Well that's a good sign then if you haven't had a drink. I had a strawberry ice cream smoothie earlier, it's the best way to sneak fruit into DS2

I am now having an oveltine!!! How sad is that?!!!
Well, it might help me sleep!!!

Is it nice and milky? I hear a lettuce sandwich can help you sleep but who fancies one of those for supper?

Oh I've just got all caught up with my coursework for tomorrow so I don't need to get up early to do it I'm not a morning person, in fact I'd stay in bed 'til lunchtime if I could

ikmow your in bed but I am not at all busy having a lovely night at work.so I thought I'd say well done too. talk tomorrow

hello sm, how are things today. when have you got that meeting?

Hi there!
I have a friend of ds's back for tea ATM & my friend has just left after nipping round for coffee with her 5 year old twins!!!
5 kids in the house is NOT good!!!
I will have to make sure the house is not a mess when H comes home.
At least I will have enough time to tidy up!
I have just recieved your CAT natt!
I have deleated it incase H sees, but have written down your phone number & e-mail address, so that I can contact you.