I've stopped eating.

[KayHarkerInTheBackOfTheQuattro]

I've had a rotten few months, for one reason or another, culminating in an incident with my husband a few weeks ago.

I've only just registered that since then, I'm not eating very much. It's partly a lack of appetite, and partly because I just don't feel like eating when everyone else does. My eating habits are all messed up - no breakfast, and I've just had a pot noodle snack and that's the first thing I've eaten today. I'm existing on cups of tea and coffee, and if I'm honest, I think I'm getting used to the feeling of control over what I eat and when.

This isn't normal, really, is it?

You could write something down?-like an opening sentence type thing- thing is, I'm pretty sure once you start talking, the woman on the other end will know exactly what you mean.

You could just ask non-emotional, practical questions at first, ie about possible leaving, benefits etc

hmm, you are low on your weight- if this is a reaction/ coping method to the shite you are going through, then it's been going on for some time I would guess- please try and eat something, at least ring the number, it's a big step to start doing something, but you've started, so keep going and good luck petal. x

That does sound extremely thin - taller than me and much lighter.

Could you use some of the postings on MN as a script? And I guess you need to say:

(1) He lost his temper and attacked me
(2) He is in general overly controlling
(3)It is really hard for me to get help, because he is overly controlling about me seeing health professionals and taking pills.
(4) I need to phone you because I don't feel safe and because this is affecting my mental and physical health (not eating)

kay i've been following this thread but not really felt qualified to comment (apart from having in the past stopped eating as a control thing). just wanted to let you know i make your bmi just over 16, suggesting getting professional help sooner rather than later would be a very sensible thing to do.

take care.

Agree with Threadie, Kay. And yes - you need to phone. They will guide you through once you start.

Please do. You matter to a lot of people. Not least on MN. Just because we haven't "met" doesn't mean we're not friends.

OK, well I'm going to do it this afternoon when he comes back from football. Thanks for the encouragement.

Hope it's going well, Kay. Thinking of you.

Good luck, Kay. Do make the call.

He's only just come back, and now it's teatime for the kids. It's open 24 hours, isn't it?

I got loads of quasi-healthy stuff I can eat easily, at the shops today, which should short-circuit the 'it's-too-much-faff-to-make-myself-something' thing.

Yes, it's 24 hours. And well shopped!

Kay,Hope you are ok today, did you phone?
Have you tried eating little bits every couple of hours (snacking) if you can't face a big meal?

I did phone yes. Sat staring at the phone for ten minutes and then I couldn't get through. Having a very bad day.

Can't stop crying

I'm reading your thread and although I don't feel qualified to add anything I just want you to know I am here.

All the kids are fighting, I just can't cope with all four of them. They won't listen to me and I just want to run out of the house. I've got to make tea and thought of the food is just making me sick, especially with them all screeching and arguing in the background.

Oh Kay. Can you step into the garden for some fresh air?

Or grab hold of the eldest child, frogmarch into kitchen and assign role of sous chef?

Ignore kids.
Can they have bits and pieces-cheese sandwiches, beans on toast, yoghurt, crisps.
They will be fine on snacks for tonight.

Garden is flooded out. I need the eldest to maKE SURE THE YOUNGEST DOESN'T CLIMB ONTO THE MANTELPIECE.. Sorry, acidental capslock, i can hardly see to type through tears. Going to have a drink to calm down and I don't care.

Chicken is already in the oven half done. He'll be miffed if there's nothing to go with it, he went out to get gravy at lunch especially. Didnt sort out any driving lessons for me, mind, but that's ok, isn't it, what would I need to drive for?

I'm so sorry you are having such a bad day kay. Awful to psych up for call and not get through. It has drained you and the kids are making it worse. I'm sorry. Just concentrate on geeting through the evening. It will be easier to pick up the phone again tomorrow now that you have managed to try once. Bastards, though, for not being able to take your call. When you can, Phone samaritons and talk to them. They alwways answer.

Don't know what to say.

Take one child and get them on board.

Have a drink, eat some crisps or peanuts.

When desperate I lock myself behind the stairgate and drink wine and MN. I also develop an aversion to food when down. I tend to feed DDs and just hibernate in the kitchen until DP gets back.

I have eaten bits and pieces today.

Full chicken dinner is not necessary. Getting yourself into a place where you feel better is

Just hacked some potatoes to pieces and put them on to boil. You never saw such thick peeling in your life. Large glass of cheap white crap now disappearing down my neck.

I think my kids hate me, and I'm going to beg him to let me send them to schooll I can't do this anymore.

Oh Kay, my poor sweet love...

Practical stuff: how does takeaway go down in your house? At the very least maybe a few vegetable side dishes to go with a roast chicken?

Yes, do have a drink. Then I suggest finding the very nicest soft drink you have in the house and drinking a pint of that before the next drink - you probably won't feel better if you get properly sloshed.

What is the most reliable and lowest effort child distractor you have available? Is it TV? A story tape? Letting them build a den? Sending them all to their rooms and locking the door?