Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Morning Sun,

Has your anxiety been pretty contant since you ds had his accident? Have you ever suffered it before this???

The first time I suffered from anxiety is came as a total shock to me because I was so laid back - it came as a big shock to me and to the select family members I told about it! Before the anxiety started I would have went anywhere, done anything - but not now! Don;t get me wrong I am getting better. I just feel it creeping back up on me at the moment, but its no were near as bad this time round! Last time it was the first thing on my mind when I opened my eyes and last thing on my mind at night! I got so bad i didn;t want to leave the house at my lowest point! I'm not sure what has triggered it this time, probably money worries as my dh has been a little short on work this year, but I know if it came to the worst we would get help and get through, but anxiety stops us thinking rationally!

Why are you feeling unwell - do you think its the anxiety as I felt unwell for months first time round, but looking back I realise now it was mostly in my head, but I was so worried about being unwell that it was actually making me ill, does that make sence? Please don;t think I',m saying its all in your head, but awful thoughts might be making it seem worse?

Like you day to day I feel totally different, one morning I could get up and feel great - ready to take on the world - other days I can;t be bothered with the challenges so will make excuses to stay at home! Having a job stopped me doing this but I am on mat leave and lost my job just before christmas due to redundancies!

If you think it will help then get a job, but something part time and unstressful at first and see how that works out for you! Having a routine and something else to focus on can help!

I have only heard good things about CBT so far, might be worth a try I also had some hypnotherapy last time round and thought that was helpful! I think candyfluff is going for some CBT soon???

Sorry for the big long post, spelling, punctuation, etc, etc! Hope i have managed to answer some questions for you!

if i can tell you anything else about my own personal experiences please just ask!

Wouldn't it be good if we could all meet up for a coffee n good old natter!

x x x

Moose,

Sorry to hear u had a crap day at work! A big problem I had at work was feeling trapped and not being able to get away quickly if I needed to! Not sure if this is an issue with you??? Does ur boss know you are suffering with anxiety, and if she does will she have a clue how bad it is for you, i.e any personsl experience???

Would it help if you said to your boss if i need to leave the office i leave - no questions asked so that you don't have to worry about going back the next day! Something along those lines so that you are not feeling trapped. Like being at work is on your terms!

What do you have to work next week???
x x x

btw its difficult to explain cos of real life but it was a cascade of events and confusion that started with the accident iyswim.

what does iyswim mean? lol!

not a lot~if you see what I mean iyswim lol!

lol, I need to work on my computer talk!

So what do you think you will do next? I was also thinking about speaking to my GP about CTB! I bought some self help books off of amazon called Overcoming Panic attacks and Agraphobia. They follow the same sort of practices of CBT, I think they would be very helpful if you think you could teach yourself!

Have you had a good day today?

yes,ok thanks.I'm shyer than I used to be but I find a lot of people make an effort with me still so thats nice.
How is your anxiety affecting you since you've been at home?

hello girls. Yommy, I can come out if i need to. Boss fully aware why I was off. am working 2, 3, 3 hours next week, 3 days.
I'm the same as you when not suffering this - so laid back, smiley, happy, CHATTY! Thats why my friends cant beieve 'it' got me like this.
I have been having a lot of counselling, but its not really cbt, psychotherapy, where she talks sense into me, and gives me coping strategies. Have two sessions left.
Morning - what happened to ds?

morning - what did happen to ds -understand if it upsets you to talk about it so dont feel you have to tell us,
have got my little sister and her newborn over for the day today
not looking forward to it at all,i think hearing and touching babies just brings back bad memories for me of when i was so ill with pnd when my ds was a baby.
i keep telling myself its just one day you will be ok !,had way too much sleep last night put ds to bed at 7.30 and went to sleep and have only just woken up .i never do that ,must of needed it though.
had a good day yesterday ,sun was shining and i was busy anxiety always less for me when im busy-anyone else find this?
hope you all have a good weekend and i will check in later to tell you how i get on.

Morning Girls,

How are you all doing today? I am having a down day today! I think its because I'm not feeling 100% with this upset tummy. I need to nip into town to get a few things, but I can;t face it! I am just going to go down to the park with my dc and nip to the shop down the road!

Candy - how is your day going with your sister n baby? I hope you are coping good! Let us know how you have been!

Morningsun - I used to work for a large company and my job was pretty stressful! I think trying to juggle with everything - new baby, stressful job, new house - it all got on top of me. Anyway I was off sick for about 3 months then went back hoping to get my hours cut but they wouldn;t let me so I had to leave in the end! I got a job with a smaller company doing the same thing and I had really settled in and was learing to deal with my anxiety day to day and it was getting easier and easier! Unfortunatly I lost my job just before christmas, but I was on mat leave anyway so wasn;t too bothered. The anxiety has just started to worsen again over the past few weeks so I'm not sure being home or at work makes that much difference to me! I would like to go back to work though, something part time to get my own independance back again and some time to myself, lol! When my anxiety is bad I don;t like being at home alone!

Moose, bet your glad its the weekend! Enjoy!

Hi to everyone else x x x

Hi all,

Candy I hope your day with your sister is going well. How are things with her now? I always feel better if I keep myself busy, and the sunshine always helps!

I had to go into town this morning, yommy, to get dd2 some new glasses, wasn't fun. I hate it on Saturday mornings. I hope your day is getting better.

Morning, I hope you are feeling better today, and I hope you have a nice relaxing weekend moose.

I am very tired today, I was out late last night at a friends. We also have dps teenage nephew staying for the weekend. Ds is driving me mad! I think I might have worn him out too much this week, he is very grumpy and keeps shouting, crying and hurting me and his sisters. I hate it when he's like this, there's no reasoning with him. An early night for him I think

xxx

Hi girls. Bloomin computer keeps freezing and wont log on. It doesn't seem to like its icons being touched! Don't we all hate that too!

So if i disapear for afew days you know why.

I am content today. Just done ironing. We are going out with friends tonight. ds's all moanin about who chooses what will be on tv, as ds14 wants footie on, the other two want flintstones!

Popped into town too day, not too busy and i was fine.

Hope you all had nice days. Hope you feeling better you ill ones!

hi girls just checking in to update and how mu day went
well it was fine my poor sister i feel so bad for her ,her dh has just dumped her and the baby is only 3 weeks old
she had pnd like she did the last time and is so not coping very well ,she can deal with the baby in the day but finds it all too much at night time
she has said some things that have worried me too
he said if she had known that he would leave her she would of had a termination ,she says she doesnt want to be a mum ,a single mum with no help.
he is coming to get the baby and leaving her here for a few days to recover and then he will come and get her and he has said until she feels more able to cope with the baby he will conntinue to stay in the home and help.
shes devastated and we had a cry together ,it brought back alot of bad memories for me ,i too felt that same way there wasnt a day i would wake up and not feel i wanted to run away from it all so god only knows how she must feel with the fact she's been dumped aswell.
shes not eating much either,made her a meal but she ate just a little.
shes gone back to mums now poor poor girl.
have told her to ask the health visitor for home start i had it and found it fantastic .
i feel i coped well with today and it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.
taking the kids swimming tomorrow afternoon with dh .
how has everyone elses day been?

oh candy, what a shame. Do you think its a good idea he takes the baby - wont that make her worse? Sounds like she is lucky to have a caring sister though xx You know to keep on chatting on here about it if it helps ! Who needs RL friends!

dh just putting boys to bed then we are having nachos and watching casualty on iplayer cos we missed it - exciting life we lead!

Am soooooo sleepy and tired today. No work tomorrow, just a nice peaceful day - yay!

Glad you've had a good weekend moose, nachos are yummy.

I've just got back from feeding my parents cat and dps nephew is still here and driving me MAD!!!

Bit more peace today Blissa?
I love Mondays when they all clear off to school and work - aah peace!!

Tiddling down with rain today! Am going Tesco in a bit, when i MOVE off computer. Eveytime I switch computer on, all the icons load, and then it freezes. I have to keep turn on and off. Ds has downloaded a msn thing that now opens up a big folders type, windows looking, box. So don't know if to do with that. But can take 7 or 8 reboots to get online!

Hope you all having a nice (wet) day!!

morning all -bloody miserable weather today,it always puts a downer on my mood,ibs playing up today and a bad back to go with it
had a nice time taking the kids swimming yesterday dh was stressed though as ds wanted to drown himself as usual he said if he had known he was gonna play up we wouldnt of come !
nice
little sis ok her dh has taken the baby away for a few days so she can rest and spend time with her family,we are out for a meal tonight just me and her ,i think she is feeling a bit better as she has put on facebook that she had a fanastic nights sleep and is feeling more positive,im not sure being away from your 3 week old is a good thing or not ?
im sure if someone had given me a few days off i would of taken it gladly.
kids back at school so just me and ds today ,he is bored .
have to take ds1 to an eye test after school am hoping all is well ,dd had worn spec's since she was 2.
how is everyone else?

Morning girls, what an awful day out there!

Yes moose, all dcs are at school and hopefully dps nephew will be staying back at his nan and grandads tonight. He is just so rude! He's 15, so I make some allowences, but he sat there in my living room after I've fed him and made him welcome saying how dp is so nice to me for running me a bath (he was going to the loo anyway, but yes it was nice of him) and when I said I'm nice to him too he said but you don't do anything all day! Have had loads of little comments of how I've never done a days hard work and how he sees my dp more than I do! Then joining in dps and my conversation about paying a bill and asking how much was in our account and who pays for what Just ignorant and rude. Rant over

Been to Tesco and just time for a cuppa before I pick ds up. It's lovely to have some peace after the weekend.

Feeling a bit jittery today, I have this panicky feeling in my stomach.

Glad your day with your sister went well Candy. I think I would have welcomed someone taking dd1 for a few days as a new born, so I could have some sleep. I hope it helps her a bit. Hope your ds's eye test goes well, dd2 has also worn glasses since she was 2, and we went through a stage of patching one eye too. The other 2's sight is fine though.

Hope your computer starts behaving moose, it's so annoying when they play up. I felt lost when my internet was down! And I still can't post big posts in one go.

I hope morningsun is ok, not seen her around as much?

Morning Girls,

How are you all today? Blissa other than the bit jittery you sound happy today! How was your trip to tesco? Are you okay with super markets? I usually am once I get in there, just the inital first few minutes other times I have no bother at all! Just depends on the day I am having! I actually need to go myself later!

I am having a more possitive day today! Had a total chill out day yesterday in the house with dh and ds's, was really nice even though we never done a thing! lol! Ds had the day off from nursery today so his Grandma came to take him to toddlers then to hers for lunch. ( he is off on holiday on friday and next monday too how many holidays do they need, lol! We are all going to go get him and try to get the boys a bit of fresh air if the rain ever goes off, its pouring from the skys! My ds2 slept for 12 hours last night only getting up once to feed, that is practically unheard of with him

Candy your sister might well benefit from a few days break! As my HV always used to say to me u can handle anything in a day if you've had a good nights sleep and I think it really helps! Might help her sort her head out a little!

Hi yommy, glad your having a good day.

I'm a lot better in the supermarket than I was, still have silly worries about keeling over when I'm out. It's an irrational fear of embarrassment, I'd rather collapse at home where no one can help me than in the middle of Tesco's where there are first aiders! Dp doesn't understand this at all, even I admit it's barking but I can't help it! I come from a family where if you fall over you look around to see who saw you rather than worry about if you've hurt yourself . If I start to feel anxious or panicky whilst I'm there I just tell myself it's anxiety and I'm ok. If I have to get out I just leave the trolley and go. Has worked so far.

That's great about ds2, what a little star! Hope it continues xx

Hi Blissa,

Lol, I am the same as you would rather something happened at home than in public where there are other around to help! Anxiety does make u crazy, lol!

I had a crap day Went into tesco and almost freaked! Nearly ran out but needed to get baby food! I went and the anxiety lessened, but my heart was racing while I was standing at the checkout! I really think this is getting worse rather than better! Maybe its time to go back to my GP, but I really don't want to! Not sure if its just worse because I am due on! Really getting me down now as I was hoping it was justa passing phase!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi,finally online after 98 attempts !!
Have been ok today, just a tickling of worry in my tummy in ASDA when the checkout goes through too quick and you have to race!
Had the same jolt yesterday at the garden centre when i popped in for a mooch. makes me feel horrid.
Work again tomorrow, yikes...... just 2 hours. Hope I can get in and not freeze.

I take my three boys for eye test but they are ok at the mo. I have worn glasses since 8, and that is a critical time, apparently! ds14 has wavered a bit over the years, ok at mo, but optician thinks he may tip and be long sighted in next year. I hope he gets his brace out before that, else metalwork overload!

Blissa, nephew sounds hard work! my son is 14, and wouldnt behave like that (I hope!)

TTFN xx