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Original poster

confussed about my weight, opinions please.

93 replies

skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 21:20

Have had issues with my weight for a long time.

I'm now 6st 12 & 5'6''.

DP knows about my problems, but he says I look really good at the moment. Yet my BMI states otherwise.

Thing is if I put on weight, acording to DP I won't look as good as I do now. But he also says if I lose any more I'll be too skinny. I know he has my best interests at heart but how thin is too thin? what's acceptable? is this BMI stuff a load of rubbish?

OP posts:
Original poster
skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 22:10

I can't waste a doctors time - can I?? It's trivial isn't it? Most people want to lose weight.

OP posts:
Original poster
skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 22:12

AnotherFineMess - you are asking questions that I have no answer for.

OP posts:
AnotherFineMess · 05/10/2008 22:12

Have you never been to docs about this before?

squeaver · 05/10/2008 22:13

Go to the doctor

charchargabor · 05/10/2008 22:14

Yes I agree, you need to speak to your doctor. It isn't trivial.

Sidge · 05/10/2008 22:16

It sounds like you have an eating disorder. That is not trivial. You need to see someone soon - you are incredibly thin and are putting your health at risk. Have a look here.

You run the risk of heart arrythmias, osteoporosis, kidney damage and lots of other health problems.

Please see your GP asap.

luckylady74 · 05/10/2008 22:21

I don't want to sound dramatic skinnybutnotrich, but I am wondering if you are a troll (sorry) simply because I can't believe how dangerously underweight you are and none of your loved ones seem to think it's a problem!
Go to the Gp and then repeat what they say to your dp.

squeaver · 05/10/2008 22:24

ll - I was wondering that a bit too. I can't imagine what she must look like.

But to the OP, if you are genuine you are VERY underweight and need to see a doctor.

AnotherFineMess · 05/10/2008 22:26

I've got to logoff now sbnr, but I didn't want to go without saying please go to docs, and that I hope my questions did not stress you out. My motivation was to help you express what is really going on here so that you can tell it to the people who can help.

I'll check the thread again, by which time I hope you have a docs appointment. Good luck.

MerlinsBeard · 05/10/2008 22:28

SBNR to elaborate on what LL already said, its a very strange 1st post in a parenting forum. having said that if you are that underweight and worrying about it then you do need to see a Dr or speak to the eating disorders association (i think its called BEAT these days), chewing food and spitting it out isnt "normal" by anyones standards

bythepowerofgreyskull · 05/10/2008 22:30

if you don't think you have a problem why are you posting in Mental Health topic?

Original poster
skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 22:37

I've been on mumsnet for a while, I'm not a troll. Have namechanged as very ashamed.

I've posted on the mental health topic because part of me feels that MAYBE I do have a problem. Where else should I put this? - is 'am I being unreasonable'?? more suitable, greyskull??

OP posts:
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 05/10/2008 22:38

if you are ashamed then clearly you know that this is wrong, so you really do need to go to the docs for help.

Original poster
skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 22:40

Sidge - thanks, I clicked on the link & saw 'anorexia nervosa' . I don't think that's me.

OP posts:
bythepowerofgreyskull · 05/10/2008 22:40

no - not at all I really do think you have a problem.. it is just that I thought I had read that this was your first posting and that you didn't think you had a problem... it felt like a strange place to post if you didn't believe it yourself.

I really hope you get some help.. being under weight is just as dangerous for your health as being over weight.. Your DP isn't helping at all, he may not even notice you being half a stone heavier but your health would prbably benefit greatly.

Sorry if that makes no sense... have had too much wine.

ledodgy · 05/10/2008 22:41

We are all telling you that we think you have a problem. Listen to us and get yourself down to the dr tommorrow.

charchargabor · 05/10/2008 22:42

Maybe you should read that link a few more times, sleep on it and read it again in the morning. Because, from what you've posted, it does sound like you.

luckylady74 · 05/10/2008 22:43

I'm sorry to upset you - it's just such extreme behavior/situation. You need such a lot of help and you're simply being aided in your self deusion by the people that are supposed to care from you.
To give you an example of how underweight you are - you would be banned as a model from British fashion week if you had a bmi under 18 - you are 3 points under that, you cannot be anything but malnourished and putting a huge strain on your vital organs.You are risking your life - I know that sounds dramatic, but women do die of eating disorders.

littlelamb · 05/10/2008 22:44

Yep, when I was eating hardly anything and throwing up what I did eat someone did suggest to me that maybe I was bulimic. I looked at the symptoms and thought, o no thats not me. None so blind as those that can't see

exasperatedmummy · 05/10/2008 22:59

The reason why you posted here is because you know you have a problem, it scares you and you don't want to face up to it but know you have to. Part of you desperately wants you to say, no this if fine, carry on as you are, thers not a problem but the sensible and scared part of you wants to be told, look, this is NOT normal, please get help.

You need help for lots of reasons. You clearly have very low self esteem, and physically food has become an issue for you. I have weight issues - i weigh 15 stone and im 5'6", i know i should lose weight but i can't because i like food too much. I have no will power and im actually quite happy with my size, but i do worry about the health side of things but eating doesnt make me unhappy. NOT eating would be just so alien to me, ive been on diets, im miserable so you wanting to lose weight when you are already underweight, you must be constantly starving? Am i right? I don't know.

Please get some help - you will be so much happier once you do this.

Original poster
skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 23:02

thank you for your posts. I just wanted to talk as I am a bit confussed.

I'm too scared to see a doctor. I cant accept that I need 'professional' help. I really can't do that. I can't be labelled as having mental health issues.

I'm taking calcium tablets, so don't think osteoperosis will be a problem.

I know I sound a bit mad & can understand why you would think I'm a troll. I wouldn't do that. I know my 'problem' is very trivial compared to some of the posts that I read. There are some people I read about on here & have huge respect for them. That's why I was unsure whether I should post.

This is not some kind of joke. All I want is to talk & try & make some sense of it all.

OP posts:
exasperatedmummy · 05/10/2008 23:02

Can i throw something harsh at you - do you really want your children to grow up thinking it is normal to do this to yourself just for the sake of appearances?

Original poster
skinnybutnotrich · 05/10/2008 23:04

exasperatedmummy - I suppose I wanted someone to tell me what I am doing is OK.

OP posts:
Dioriffic · 05/10/2008 23:05

Message withdrawn

exasperatedmummy · 05/10/2008 23:11

i certainly don't think you are a troll.

Mental health issues - thats a scary label. If your eating disorder was caused by a dodgy liver not allowing you to eat without vomiting, you would go and bang on your doctors door until you were treated appropriately. If you had diabetes, you would accept treatment and wouldnt feel ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

I have mental health issues, i am on ADs and im having counselling - i will happily tell anyone i meet this. ITS NOT MY FAULT, i'm not a freak, i just need a helping hand. There are so many women on this board with mental health issues - Feeling shitty for no reason, we all do that - have shit days, i guess that is the mental health equivalent of a cold - we all have mental health issues. Some of them we can cure with a warm bath and a girly film and a cry, others need professional help. Just as a cold can be treated with a box of lemsip, pneumonia needs professional help. If that makes any sense.

You owe it to yourself and your children to get yourself healthy, eat healthily and ensure they have a healthy attitude towards food,

With regards to the calcium - you can take as many tablets as you like but unless you start eating your body wont be able to metabolise it, so osteoporosis very much IS an issue.

Chewing food and spitting it out - you are going to end up with stomach ulcers at worse, and terrible indigestion at best.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but i just want you to get some help. Go to the doctors TOMORROW, while you still have this in your grasp and don't rationalise it away. You are NOT wasting their time.