confussed about my weight, opinions please.

[skinnybutnotrich]

Have had issues with my weight for a long time.

I'm now 6st 12 & 5'6''.

DP knows about my problems, but he says I look really good at the moment. Yet my BMI states otherwise.

Thing is if I put on weight, acording to DP I won't look as good as I do now. But he also says if I lose any more I'll be too skinny. I know he has my best interests at heart but how thin is too thin? what's acceptable? is this BMI stuff a load of rubbish?

You are extremely underweight. I am your height and 9 and a half stone. I am actually classified as the ideal weight for my height so you should ideally be 2 and a half stones heavier than you are.

You sound like you have a serious eating disorder and your partner has no idea of how serious it is. You need to see a doctor.

If I see a doctor I will heve to go to hospital. I will then have to eat & put on weight. Then I'll be able to go home. Then it starts again. Because you learn how to get better at it.

I can imagine you are scared skinny. But its OK, its OK to be scared. Have you been in hospital before for this?

I have. A long time ago. Then I started a new life & left it all behind. I was a stone heavier a year ago.

You do really need to talk to someone professional about this - we have all been very harsh with you to try and shock you into doing something to help yourself. But we are not qualified really to help you through this. We will hold your hand, but thats about all we can do - For me it is very simple - as i told you, i weigh 14 stone, my ideal weight is about 9 stone. I am a size 10 down below and about a 14 up top (i have great tits) when im that weight. I am 5'3", at my perfect weight i am far from skinny, i honestly, truthfully would rather be as i am now than skinny so to hear that you are killing yourself to be skinny really upsets me. But i know its not that straightforward.

Ive been thinking about what your DP has said to you, about you being OK just now - do you think this is his way of trying to stop you from LOSING anymore weight?

And now you have slipped back - OK, but you beat it before, so its easier this time, you KNOW you can do it. You were a stone heavier a year ago, and mountains happier im sure. You don't need to suffer like this, go to the doctors?

Is there anywhere between here & the doctors?

If you're not yet ready to go to the doctors, would you think about phoning a helpline - that way you don't have to let anyone know who you are, you can just get some info and perhaps allay some fears: 0845 634 1414 for example (B-eat).

Think about what you're doing as well - the eating is the outward manifestation, but there's something triggering it. What's making you unhappy?

Poppy makes a good suggestion there. If you can't face the doctors then talking to someone on a helpline who is trained and/or possibly has been through similar is a very positive step. You are being very brave and i admire you for still trying to get help despite being scared witless - that takes a lot of guts.

I don't think I can do this anymore. sorry. I'm finding it very difficult. I don't want to sound ungrateful for your help, I'm just really upset at the moment & think I've said too much.

I will phone beat tomorrow, or if they have a website. I'll be ok.

Ok, first of all if you are chewing and spitting food out this means you have disordered eating. This is not good for your mental health and you may not be getting enough nutrients for cognitive thought and processes. This may be why you are being resistant to go to the doctors.

What you might need to be saying to the doctor is asking for a scan for osteoporosis as you may be causing harm to your bones with this lack of nutrients.

You need to understand that if fifty people are saying get a health professional to look you over and you really, really don't want to it is likely to be because of you and not us. Calmly, rationally and with the best of intentions I say you may not be very well and I urge you to run this past a health professional.

Sending you good thoughts

Just read you're last couple of posts. You've been here before, you know what is wrong. Really hope you will be ok.

your not you're. tsk.

Sounds like anorexia. Spent much of my teens, twenties, like this. Does NOT mean you are a lunatic! see your doctor please. You know you can't go on like this, hence the post on here. Life and death stuff. Choose life, it may be hard to believe now but a day will come when your weight is not the most important thing to you.

skinny, you haven't said too much - none of us know who you are. Please DO phone B-eat tomorrow. Im sure you will be OK too because you have made the first very big and very scary step.

skinny, i stepped way from this thread for personal reasons and i wasn't going to come back but i just wanted to say that for the sake of your children please ring B-eat (previously the eating disorders association) or have a telephone appt with your gp. YOU took the first step in questioning whether its right or not by posting here, no one judged you but you were offered alot of help.

You may not want the anorexia "label" but your eating is certainly disordered Please look after yourself. i think i am right in saying that you will know exactly what i mean by that. and please come back to the thread

Have you tried contacting MIND? Or are they called SANE now?

Once I knew an anorexic as part of a MIND befriending scheme. She also had contact with a psychiatric nurse, and she got better.
There is hope.

Reach out for help and you will get it.

beat...

0845 634 1414
or email if you can't physically talk iyswim
[email protected]