confussed about my weight, opinions please.

[skinnybutnotrich]

Have had issues with my weight for a long time.

I'm now 6st 12 & 5'6''.

DP knows about my problems, but he says I look really good at the moment. Yet my BMI states otherwise.

Thing is if I put on weight, acording to DP I won't look as good as I do now. But he also says if I lose any more I'll be too skinny. I know he has my best interests at heart but how thin is too thin? what's acceptable? is this BMI stuff a load of rubbish?

WHat exasteratedmummy said. I cannot tell you the damage this does to people. I have a relative with anorexia and she is 46. To look at her you would honestly think she was in her 80s. No kind of supplements will make up for inadequate nutrition. Do seek out help, your Gp is an excellent place to start

there are over 50 posts on here already, not one of us, and bear in mind that mental health isnt the most highly read topic, have said that this is anywhere near OK. This doesn't have to be the end of the world - but you need some help, it might be that you need to go to the doctors who will give you advice re HEALHTY eating, possibly refer you to a dietician. Or you might need some counselling to help you understand why you feel you need to be so thin. But one thing i do know - if you go to the doctors, your life will be better.

Can i ask, what do you eat? Say over a day

I want my children to grow up to be healthy and happy.

My DP is a medical professional (v high up). Hence me believing his 'BMI is a load of crap' attitude I suppose

What am I supposed to believe?

BMI is a load of crap if you are an 18 stone rugby player "diagnosed" as overweight using BMI. If you are a 6st 12 5'6" grown womn then BMI is a very good indicator that you are dangerously underweight.

and "very high up" medical professionals can have as many "ishoos" with women being healthy fit capable women as the next man.

Sorry but IME (and I have some) some men like their women underweight and they have as much of a issue as women who like to be underweight.

Why do you think you will be happier about being a few pounds less (and where exactly are you going to lose it from?) What is it about a few more ounzes of muscles and water (unlikely to be losing fat at your weight I would hazard a guess) that is going to bring you more contentment?

Im sorry to say this but if your DP is a medical professional then he needs shooting. What is wrong with the man? I would suggest he has some issues to then. BMI is very subjective. I am rated as obese, i dont look obese, people can't believe it when i tell them how much i weigh. I am very unfit at the moment, but before DD i was the same weight 15 stone, so obese according to my BMI but i was as fit as a butchers dog, at the gym every day, run the race for life in 24 minutes (proud), did a fitness test at the gym and they made me retake it as they thought i had done it wrong as i got almost 90% BUT nothing is going to make 6 stone and 5'6" healthy.

What does your DP do exactly

also, not being funny, at your weight, you dont actually NEED a BMI indicator or medical degree to know you are dangerously underweight. You ARE going to the docs in the morning though, arent you!!

exasperatedmummy - so BMI rates you as 'obese' (!!!?)just goes to show the bmi malarkey is a load of bollocks. (race for life - good on you girl!)

Can't say what DP does, sorry.

I don't feel I fall within the range of 'dangerously underweight'.

NO will NOT be going to doctors tomorrow.
Can't be signed off as some kind of lunatic.

what's acceptable? you asked.

We said "not 6st 12 & 5'6"

Forget whether BMI is bollocks (actually it isn;t most of the time), you are probably dangerously underweight. Adults with anorexia have a BMI roughly 85% or less of the minimum healthy BMI (which is 20) and you are some way below this. Howon earth did you manage to conceive with a body fat ratio this low?

Not sure why you think a GP would "sign you off" and not sure why you think that not giving your GP an opportunity to help you makes the situation somehow better.

If you are not then underweight, your GP will say to you "don't worry you aren't underweight you're just one of those rare healthy skinny malinks we are all so jealous of". But you're not going to go are you, because you know he/she will be concerned about your weight.

SBNR - you posted this in mental health and prefaced your post with "Have had issues with my weight for a long time".

Everyone on here has assured you with perfect truth that you are dangerously underweight and that your habit of spitting out your food is symptomatic of a food disorder.

Now you are insisting that you do not have a disorder and you won't go to the doctor.

Okay so what have you got to lose by going to the doctor? If you are right (which I suspect you know you are not) that BMI is a load of tosh and you are fine, your doctor will tell you so.

Your DP's views etc are totally irrelevant. If they are being correctly reported then they are surprising but very possibly incorrect in any event.

So get to the bloody doctor woman.

From what you've said you sound very thin. I don't have much to add beyond what others have said about seeking help - look at it this way:

If you don't have a problem, the doctor will tell you that, and you can go on your way happily, yes? If there is a problem, you'll be in the right place to start getting help.

I just want to tell you quickly about my friend - I doubt anyone would have described her as anorexic or having an eating disorder. Over the course of a few months she went from a size 10/12 to a very slim 6/8. She stayed that thin for about a year. (Not long at all in the grand scheme of things, and not massively underweight). Recently she went to the doctors and was diagnosed with osteopenia (sp?) - this apparently is the precursor to osteoporosis. She now has to have two-yearly bone scans and is really quite worried by the whole thing.

If that can happen to my friend in less than two years, you really need to get checked out to make sure there is no lasting damage to your body. I wish you all the best and hope you get the help and support you need.

skinny if you dont feel ready for 'professional help' you obviously wont go to get it now. its best you take some time to think about it all, you can do some research on the internet and find out more about your weight issues/ eating habits/ whatever you want to refer to them as, and try to be as introspective as possible to discover if you are really happy with everything or if you would like to make some changes and if so what are the best ways to go about makign those changes.

'professional help' doesnt necessarily mean going to your gp, you could just go for some voluntary counselling, introdcutory session with a psychologist, hypnotherapist, acupucnturist, whatever suits you...

since you have already posted here, i do think it means you are aware there is something you would like to sort out for yourself, that is a great sign, and you should go ahead and focus on that.

kewcumber are some medical professional stating all that? i have conceived 3 times with a bmi of 15, some people just have different body types

?I'm now 6st 12 & 5'6''. DP knows about my problems, but he says I look really good at the moment. I think I could do with maybe losing a couple of more pounds.?

You need to see a doctor or get some sort of external opinion asap. BMI or not, your attitude and that of your dp is not healthy and you need to get a realistic perspective on this.

stayinbed - yes it is a known side effect of very low body fat ratios that ovulation often stops. Of course body types are different and your body fat raio may be higher than usual for your BMI or you may have PCOS which actually improves at very low body fat ratios. The norm however is that very low body fat is associated with ovulation problems (I beleive its to do with production of oestrogen but no doubt someone more knowledgable than me could confirm)

skinnybutnotrich - do you think you could go to the gp for our sake? He won't sign you off necessarily will he? So a mental health issue may be on your notes - you and at least half the population!
You do know really that this is a problem because thats why you're scared of going to the gp - well done for getting that far.
Look at it this way - you have got some huge issues, but you have the chance to get a grip and not pass these twisted ideals onto your children - stop it here.Give your children the blessing of a mentally and physically healthy mother.
Malnourished people do manage to concieve - theres enough examples around the world of that, but your body gives all the nutrition to the baby and damages your body by depleting you of vital nutrients.
I think you may be scared of your dh too - he sounds like he has a f**ked up attitude which probably came from his dm - are you going to let this madness pass down from you to your children?
We are all here holding your hand if you go to the doctors.

I GIVE UP if you want to starve yourself to death then i guess that is your choice.

skinnybutnotrich on Sun 05-Oct-08 23:51:19
exasperatedmummy - so BMI rates you as 'obese' (!!!?)just goes to show the bmi malarkey is a load of bollocks. (race for life - good on you girl!)

Can't say what DP does, sorry.

I don't feel I fall within the range of 'dangerously underweight'.

NO will NOT be going to doctors tomorrow.
Can't be signed off as some kind of lunatic.

Three things: Firstly, i don't need my BMI to tell me that i'm dangerously overweight, I am. I told you i was fit before, im not at the moment. Its just that everyone's body shape is different. I am overweight, no doubt about it, i can't wear high heel shoes, i just can't, it puts too much strain on my feet. My Blood pressure is high and i am tired all the time - so actually, it might be time for me to go on a health kick. FWIW, they tell perfectly healthy people to check with the doctor before going on any type of diet.

Secondly; If you don't feel dangerously underweight then you a fooling yourself. If you think you are attractive being so skinny, again, im sorry, but you are fooling yourself. More importantly, the message you are sending your children is a sad and dangerous one.

Thirdly: You don't want to be signed off as some sort of lunatic?? Why the hell did you post on mental health then? FFS. I am under the doctor for post natal depression and anxiety, im on medication and having psychiatric care. I can say with confidence that i am NOT any sort of lunatic. You would obviously disagree with that.

I am not particularly interested in what your DP does. I just wandered what qualified him to tell a seriously underweight person, that this is a healthy state to be in.

You didn't answer my question about how much you eat in a day - so i can only assume you eat a very poor diet. My challenge to you is go to the doctors and have a general blood test - i am willing to bet that your metabolism is shot to pieces. I bet your breath smells awfull too - that will be the keytones, something that diabetics often have to deal with. By starving yourself the way you are you are basically simulating a diabetic state - you are risking liver and kidney damage, bone damage, poor immune system, poor mental performance etc etc. But hey, so long as you fit into that pair of skinny size 6 jeans, you must be healthy mustn't you.

Did you actually read the link I posted SBNR? Or did you see the header of Anorexia Nervosa and think 'well that's not me'?

If you read further down you would have seen that you display many of the characteristics common in someone with an eating disorder. And you can eat all the calcium tablets in the world but if you are malnourished you will suffer, healthwise. I have C&Pd this from that webpage:

Health risks are caused by undereating (starvation) and by the methods used to get rid of eaten food (vomiting, excess laxatives, etc). Problems that may occur include the following.

Menstrual periods usually stop.
Body chemical imbalances caused by repeated vomiting or excess use of laxatives. For example, a low potassium level which may cause tiredness, weakness, abnormal heart rhythms, kidney damage and convulsions. Low calcium levels can lead to tetany (muscle spasms).
Thinning of the bones (osteoporosis) caused by calcium and vitamin D deficiency. This can lead to easily fractured bones.
Bowel problems may occur if a lot of laxatives are taken. Laxatives can damage the bowel muscle and nerve endings. This may eventually result in permanent constipation.
Swelling of hands, feet and face (due to fluid disturbances).
Teeth problems caused by the acid from the stomach rotting away the enamel with repeated vomiting.
Anaemia.
Depression.
Delayed puberty, stunted growth and delayed physical development if anorexia occurs in younger age groups.
Loss of sex drive (libido).

Why would a doctor think you are a lunatic? Why would s/he sign you off? Maybe your GP would be concerned for you and offer support and treatment, some GPs do you know.

Please be kind to yourself, and seek help.

So how do you feel about things today? I feel a little guilty that I ranted at you when you've got a serious problem - I haven't felt so worried by a post ina long time.

oh my I am so glad I came onto this thread. I am 511 and 13 stone sooo not at all under weight. I am an emotional eater and have always over eaten if anything however after a recent bout of exhhaustion I cannot swallow food. I can chew it gag on it and then spit it out. Its like my stomach is seperate from my mouth although my tummy and body is hungry my mouth disagrees. My mum is panicking but I cant believe that anythings up as I have always been an over eater and have still got weight on me....any help welcome!!!!

cole1 - i think maybe start a new thread for this, but go to your doctor there might be a medical reason for this.

cole1 - my friend's mum has just had something similar - gp tomorrow I'd say.

Cole - try drinks/soups + tlc from your mum or whoever else is around.

Skinny - you have a very obvious eating disorder and are in serious need of medical/psychiatric attention so stop fannying about on here.

I'm scared.