Recovering from excessive and long lasting health anxiety, is that possible?

[MrHarveysNewHat]

It sounds defeatist, I know but I genuinely can not see how I can ever recover from this and the older I am getting, the worse it is becoming.

As I write this I know it is pathetic, I see that it is and I know many people have little patience for health issues but it does hang over me like a black cloud. I do think my existing mental health issues and my chronic health problems are triggers though so it is a bit of a vicious cycle which I can not break.

I have always struggled with my mental health. From a very young age I would have a fear of dying and would spend a lot of time contemplating life and death. I also suffer with OCD which would often focus around contamination and illness a lot too.

I suppose it became a little better in my teen years and 20's but it was always there in the background. During my 30's I had my DC I managed to get through tummy bugs and viruses etc without having any major meltdowns although I would worry more than the average mum and would go into a panic if they came down with anything contagious, especially in the winter months and having emetophobia isn't much fun with young kids but I got through it.

None of my health anxiety problems are helped by the fact that I have struggled with some chronic health issues for decades. Since 1998 I have suffered from a bowels/guts problems (daily IBS and functional dyspepsia which are getting worse as I age), decades of excessively heavy periods resulted in years of anaemia which left my feeling very physically exhausted. I discovered 2 years ago that I have actually been suffering from endometriosis and adenomyosis. I seem to react very sensitively to hormones and also have aura migraines during my periods. My perimenopause journey has also been a bit rough over the last 7 years. I feel as though my body and mind are up against me every day (HRT makes my endo pain worse so can not take these and I have yet to find an antidepressant which doesn't exacerbate the gut issues).

I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD this year, I feel my mind has never functioned well and have limped along for decades.

But the covid pandemic shifted something in my brain, I feel it triggered the state that I am in now. I am not a conspiracy nut or anything like that but that timeline did something to me and I have not felt the same since. I am 52 so fully aware there have been and will always be pandemics and health disasters throughout history and most probably be more through my lifetime but the experience has triggered me and I am embarrassed to admit it although not helped by the fact my MIL died a horrible death in 2020 as a result of the pandemic (not from covid but because her cancer treatment was put on hold). My own mum had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018 and was left quite isolated during the pandemic, she is sadly now in the advanced stages of the disease and I help care for her which has added another notch on my health anxiety journey.

I have now reached a point where I feel I am going crazy with constant worry over my health (and the health of those closest to me). I despise and dread winter to the point I will stay at home as much as possible and only go out when I need to. This current flu spike has me on edge. I have had the flu 4 times since my 20's (last time was this April) and I felt dreadful every time to the point that I now very much fear illnesses like flu.

I don't know what to do to ease this fear, the older I get and the more likelihood of disease or illness is triggering more fear but it's absolutely no way to live. I just want to be able to enjoy the rest of my life without this fear escalating over time. Watching my mum slowly dying from dementia has taught me how short life actually is but nothing I do helps. I have had endless CBT sessions, I even had advanced CBT sessions focusing on health anxiety but that didn't touch it. I have had endless counselling and am at the end of my current lot of therapy. I even did EMDR etc yet nothing eases the ingrained fear that I now have.

Has anyone overcome long standing health anxiety? We all face the same potential risk of disease as the next person but how are some (probably most) people able to live heir lives to the fullest and not allow this kind of anxiety to dominate their every day thoughts? Is this something that can be overcome at such a late age?

I hope 2026 is the year you find the answer to this question.

If I'm truthful I'd say no, there is only "managing" it. I am exactly as you described, emetophobia, health anxiety, germaphobic, panic attacks. Have had all CBT and talking therapy, plus hypnosis and Havening treatment - none of it worked. I am 37 and I truly believe I will be managing this for the rest of my life. Very nervous about perimenopause and the effect it will have on my mental health when it comes along since I already struggle. I take citalopram and propanolol. I also have chronic health conditions too which when they flare it flares up my anxiety. I am terrified of all illnesses even self-limiting viral stuff.

I really do feel for you and agree, I don't think it will ever be something I'm completely free from. I have other phobias such as lift phobias but I can over overcome issues such as those by simply avoiding using them, obviously I can't do that with health anxiety, I just somehow need to accept it will always be something which dominates mind.

Yes- citalopram completely sorted me out. I hope you can get rid of it, it’s no way to live

That's encouraging. I have a prescription to collect for Escitalopram. Even the thought of those and the associated side effects set off my HA.

I was the same starting citalopram, I literally was crying taking the first tablet, and yes I did the side effects (not vomiting or anything like that) but once I'd started them I was adamant I was sticking it through til the side effects went. I've been on them for 18 months now and tbh I'd say they helped reduce the anxiety by about 30%, it certainly wasn't a cure for me but was worth trying because I wasn't functioning before I began them.

Thank you, even just a small reduction in anxiety has got to be better than this. I will go pick up the meds tomorrow.

Just so you know what to expect: I had diarrhoea for the first couple of days and my anxiety felt worse a few days in and for maybe another week. And then it was like a fog lifting. It took over a year to feel completely fine because some of the thought patterns with HA become a habit but the compulsion disappears quite quickly and then the habitual aspect wears off. Honestly, when the drugs work it’s life changing

Are you taking any medication for ADHD @MrHarveysNewHat?

Honestly no, it will always be a part of you but it definitely become more manageable. I've struggled with this for 20+ years and its never gone but it's definitely got better and I dont feel like it consumes me anymore.

I trialled Elvanse for 3 months but I couldn't tolerate the side effects. I have a super sensitive digestive system and it gave me terrible diarrhoea and nausea (the nausea is still with me 7 months later). I also had awful headaches and no appetite, I lost some weight which I can't afford to do as I already have a low BMI.

My assessor got me to take it with food, she halved the dosage and we even did every other day but sadly I couldn't carry on with them.

Antidepressants helped with my health anxiety. I used to always think the worst, this I was dying or a family member was. I would be thinking about funerals. Thinking of my kids growing up without a mum. I would spiral. But I can honestly say my health anxiety has never been lower. I make a conscious effort not to google symptoms. I also tell my worry to someone so they can help reassure me. And tell me I’m being unreasonable as my mind would play tricks on me.
I also have ibs but now being on antidepressants I have less and less flare ups. Hope this helps, I know how much it can consume your thoughts you are not alone.

Thank you. It's reassuring to learn that it is something that can be controlled or even overcome as I live in a constant doom that I will be forever consumed by this.

Can I ask which antidepressants you take?

I only learned recently that health anxiety is itself a form of OCD. You can definitely learn to manage it. I can’t say it will ever fully go away, mine still rears its head when something triggering happens, but you can learn to live with it on a day to day basis without it consuming you. If you can find specialised OCD therapy, I think that will help. Best of luck to you OP

Yes. CBT got me so far but Escitalopram has completely resolved over 20 years of suffering HA for me. Complete game changer. Adjusting up to the dose can be difficult but it’s temporary and worth the end result. I was prescribed a liquid preparation and increased by 1ml every few days to help with this. Once I got to 10ml I started tablets and have been on them 18 months now and feel amazing. Good luck x

Our ADHD brains like to keep things interesting, and dear god can they squeeze LOTS of interest in imagining all the horrible ways in which we are currently, or about to be, dying.

Mine did it from as early as I remember until a series of changes.

1 - paroxetine liquid anti depressants which allowed my very wussy self to slowly work up from a single (non therapeutic) drop up to a dose that worked for me.

2 - HRT. Especially the progesterone aspect stopped the massive upsurge in rumination and relentless worrying for hours.

3 - Focus Revolution, an ADHD community which in 2 years this January has transformed my life. I mostly attend the special sessions for the Coach led guidance

4 - Vit in D3K2, zinc (pincolated ?), CoQ10 and the latest addition Rhodiola

5 - Chicken livers/hearts once a week to boost iron and b12 because iron supplements and my intestines do not agree. And the b vitamins are either too big or taste funny.

6 - Thyroid check and medication. Had no idea it was wonky and contributing to the Hellscape in my head.

7 - Melatonin so I actually sleep instead of thinking about how I might be dying.

The last few years as I introduced that lot have been the best of my life. Not least because I don’t spend most of my time worrying about the various ways I might be dying.

It’s horses for courses, not all of the things will work for all of the people all of the time. But I hope 2026 gives you your menu of add ons to live better.

Massive hug.

I’d agree with citolopram, even just to take the edge off health anxiety. If you read the initial possible side effects at least you know what you may expect . After the first month or so, these effects settle down anyway.

I have the same problem
I have autism and waiting for ADHD asessment this next year.
Mine is worrying about my teeth and needing the dentist ..it's so bad I'm actually seriously considering having all my teeth removed and getting false teeth.
Then no need to worry about fillings or dental appointments.
I have horrendous anxiety,and I actually think the worrying brings on toothache.
Doctor did say at one point I have OCD..but I've not been offered any help for it .
But I've no advice op ,just came on here to say I'm sorry it's so difficult for you and I hope you get some help in the new year

I have this waiting for me ..but I've not built up to taking one yet

Thank you, it's really good to know it's helped you. I'd love the liquid version, I think that could work for me as I could do it super slowly, I panic and await side effects as soon as I've taken anything, even bloody vitamins!

Thank you, this is so so helpful.

I really need to ask for liquid antidepressants, I'm sure that would work better for me.

There are a few suggestions like hrt which I know doesn't work for me but I will definitely try everything else especially the Focus Revolution group.

Is melatonin easy to get in the UK or is it only available on prescription?

I totally understand the dental fear, I have awful issues with my teeth and it leaves me so anxious and depressed.

@MrHarveysNewHat hope you managed to have a nice Christmas op without any worry
I do recommend propropnal..I forgot to say up thread ,I can take up to 3 a day when I need it ..helps me calm down

OP .. I am so sorry .. I admire your courage and bravery.
Health anxiety is common .. a lot of my anxiety was about my husbands health ( and I am a doctor 🤣🤣)
Sometimes you need to fix the brain chemistry.. citalopram had utterly and completely changed my life.. yes there are side effects but they are minuscule compared to the going of the sense of dread which completely dominated my life .