AIBU to fucking hate the police

[LivelyLeader]

Five years ago, I received a knock at the door. The police arrested my DH upon suspicion of downloading CSA. They took every piece of electronics we had, including phones we hadn't used in years, old PCs, the lot.

They wanted to know how often I saw my nephew and if my DH was ever alone with him. It tore both myself and my husband apart inside to have to ans er their questions.

After nearly six months of no contact with the police my DH attended his bail.

My DH received a NFA. No apology, nothing. They invaded my home, took my belongings and yet they didn't seem to give a damn.

Since then, I've not left the house alone. Every knock on the door or ring on the doorbell makes me shiver with dread.

Yesterday a parcel needing a signature and I hid under the covers. I want to feel normal again. AIBU to think that the police need to offer some sort of support after the harrowing ordeal we experienced?

You actually think police never make an error? Oh you sweet summer child.

It is quite traumatic for you @LivelyLeader. There was an article a few weeks ago on Sky News about the same thing happening to another family where the kids had to see all of that and there is another family on the side of it. Nobody's saying they shouldn't investigate but OP hasn't done anything wrong and it can be traumatising for them. To have everything ripped apart just like that. There was even a call months ago on the justice system on LBC and this women called in talking about how she has been affected by her husbands crime and the long wait for court, it's not her fault either and she's lost everything. Yes the crimes need to be investigated, but we'd be talking nonsense if we cannot admit how much the police get wrong and how much damage they inflict often on victims as well. And personally unless they've contributed to the crime, I do see offenders families as victims in a different way, particularly children for which we know it's an adverse childhood experience and makes them more likely to end up in the same place. Often offenders families try a lot to get them help (if it's a mental health problem) or to alert services and are ignored and then berated in the press as completely responsible for the crime.

@TheLivelyViper totally agree with this

I used to work a digital forensics contractor. I wasn't an analyst but have a fair few mates that were/are. They tend to be techy IT guys. Often a bit geeky. They defo wouldn't prefer to tackle a potentially knife wielding drug dealer.

@BlackCatGreyWhiskers

"I’ve worked in criminal defence"

Really? For how long before you were booted? No way your behaviour exhibited here would have had you kept on by any solicitors or retained as council.

If you worked in the Criminal Justice System you would know that CSA images are a strict liability offence which makes them exceptionally easy to prosecute. As a result there are prosecuted very often, the challenge in investigations is knowing which individuals to look at (if there were images they would need to interview the OP as she also had access to the devices). If there was an image it would have been a prosecution.

“@neverbeenskiing exactly, I have been involved in a case where someone with a previous conviction for possessing CSA, was suspected of re-offending, but it was impossible to accurately age the people in the images. They looked around 12-13 but equally could have been young looking 16 year olds.”

If you had worked in the field (or frankly ever read the news) you would know “they could be 16” is not a defence, the age any person in an image must be is 18. Are you sure you have worked in this field?

“She hasn’t even asked what he was charged with”

He wasn’t charged. If you had worked in CJS (or read the news) you would not make such a simple error. You worked in crime but don't know what "charged" means?

“No - there’s so many people who have CSA they can’t possibly investigate them all and our prisons don’t have capacity to hold them. I think there’s zero chance OP’s husband doesn’t have an interest and hasn’t been accessing CSA material.”

Again, CSA images don’t get custody most of the time (particularly including suspended sentences). If they find them they are mostly guaranteed win cases which are easy to process. A few get off, either because the devices are shared so identifying the downloader is not possible. Someone working in the CJS would know this.

You clearly no nothing about the topic, but use that as a basis to behave obnoxiously to someone who is suffering. OP did not come hear to be abused by the people on here who appear to have some kind of sadistic tendencies.

@BlackCatGreyWhiskers
If you worked in the CJS you would also know that often the falsely accused can't find how the situation occurred if a malicious complaint is made, you are not entitled to know who (details of complaints would be made in disclosure the event of a trial).

Other reasons for an investigation you will be allowed to know, if your connection was used such as you have poor WifI security), on searching devices it may become apparent the IP address is for a device using the network but not one owned by the family. If it was a cloned credit card, you would be allowed to know that. All these are a legitimate basis for an investigation but in now way mean the accused is in the wrong.

If you worked in the CJS you would also know different people respond differently, some want to fight others are traumatised and husks of their former selves. No one knows how they will respond until it happens to them.
So, the idea that someone who found a police raid will immediately fight the police or we must strong them up is frankly absurd.

But you feel the need to lay in to the OP for no reason? Perhaps rather than coming on the internet to abuse others on the basis of an imaginary career you clearly don’t have, perhaps go and sit in a dark room and reflect on what sort of person you are and perhaps work on that.

An imaginary career - would you like to see my CV 😂

@Thisistyresome the law changed re images being of 18 year olds in 2003, it was previously 16.