AIBU to fucking hate the police

[LivelyLeader]

Five years ago, I received a knock at the door. The police arrested my DH upon suspicion of downloading CSA. They took every piece of electronics we had, including phones we hadn't used in years, old PCs, the lot.

They wanted to know how often I saw my nephew and if my DH was ever alone with him. It tore both myself and my husband apart inside to have to ans er their questions.

After nearly six months of no contact with the police my DH attended his bail.

My DH received a NFA. No apology, nothing. They invaded my home, took my belongings and yet they didn't seem to give a damn.

Since then, I've not left the house alone. Every knock on the door or ring on the doorbell makes me shiver with dread.

Yesterday a parcel needing a signature and I hid under the covers. I want to feel normal again. AIBU to think that the police need to offer some sort of support after the harrowing ordeal we experienced?

Absolutely this.

Is there a problem with the police in general? Yes
Am i a huge fan? No.

what happened was awful and definitely scary and traumatic but underneath that there the why? Why did this happen?

The police arent crashing round into people's home without probable cause.

I couldnt blithely continue to share a bed with my husband until I knew the truth

You wouldn’t hate the police if someone you loved was being abused and they investigated and arrested the person responsible and brought them to justice so yes you are being unreasonable. Turn it around and see this from the point of view of a victim.

NFA does not necessarily mean they didn’t find anything.

I understand why OP has had an unsettling, perhaps traumatic experience but think her anger is misplaced and her priorities all wrong.

I imagine they’ve traced his IP address from a chat room or a visitor has seen the content.

I suspect they had enough evidence! They can’t just barge in they need to get a warrant to search a property and remove possessions.

Some people take their privacy more seriously than others. It's great for you that it's no big deal-but we do have privacy laws that say we are entitled to a private life because it's important to a lot of people. Personally I guard my privacy very dearly and it's important to me, not because I'm doing anything wrong but because it's personal and sacred to me. I'd be embarrassed about anyone knowing how much time I spend on mumsnet! Just sensitive like that. Plus I believe they take your devices for months. Not really something you can shrug off if you've paid a lot of money for a phone/computer to be without one that long.

It’s a trauma response to divert away from the underlying issue. This is how CSA prevails. No one thinks it can be anyone they know.

I would never describe potentially having to view images of CSA as a “cushy job”. Quite disturbing that you would.

It's all in a day's work for the police but yes, this sort of procedure can have a very harrowing effect indeed when innocent people are faced with the ordeal.

Do seek professional counselling and don't just bottle it up, and don't listen to the people on here seeking to dismiss your very real and justified PTSD.

But this is not a case in which a victim would have had to make a statement as that clearly comes with a lot of caveats and I agree that NFA in this case would not necessarily mean that the OP’s husband was innocent. However, it’s quite straightforward here: either there are images present on the devices or there aren’t. It’s unlikely that there were otherwise a charge would have been sought.

Why wasn't he charged then?

Look up NFA.

Christ get over yourself.

Jesus PTSD come off it

With respect, they didn't break down the door. They knocked. They have to investigate crime to protect children. It must have been a horrible experience but no reason to ' fucking hate the police' for doing their job. BTW, I have experienced them breaking down the door and trying to arrest my partner while we were naked in bed in a case of mistaken identity as the rented flat we had moved into was previous rented by heroin dealers.

Some people on here are completely clueless.

The rate of charging possession of CSA is exceptionally high if images are found. It is a very easy win for the CPS and the cases are very simple to prosecute, it is a strict liability offence. See the police woman who was prosecuted as her sister sent her images to tell her to investigate, the sister was muted so she never saw the messages or images. There can be a challenge if there is ambiguity of who downloaded them, but if they existed and there was uncertainty they would have questioned OP about whether she downloaded them. So in this case the most likely outcome is no evidence found at the home.

As for warrants the can be granted on scarily little evidence, magistrates don’t like to say no, so it comes down to the proper paperwork being done well.

The issue is “swatting” has become a thing, where people come up with ways to get the police to raid someone’s home. In the US the best way to do this is claim some kind of gun event (which has caused the death of innocent home owners). In the UK this is treated more sceptically so claiming CSA images gets the effect.

The police are very bad at processing devices after these events, a search should be performed within hours and the devices returned if nothing is found. But often the police hold them right up until the deadline of returning them for no reason.

YANBU, but the person who made the malicious complaint is the real issue here.

Your DH did not recieve an apology because the Police did nothing wrong. For them to have secured a warrant and been able to arrest your DH they must have had sufficient grounds to suspect that a criminal offence had occurred. You must understand that the Police cannot ignore evidence of CSA for fear of upsetting the alledged perpetrators loved ones.

The fact that it was ultimately NFA does not mean that they were wrong to arrest him, to search your house or to seize electronic devices. Their job is to investigate alleged offences, which is exactly what they've done. They were also absolutely right to ask questions about your DN. If someone is suspected of viewing CSA material then it is very basic safeguarding to enquire about their access to children IRL. Again, agencies cannot shy away from asking these questions and conducting a thorough risk assessment because doing so risks causing upset to alleged perpetrators and those close to them.

Also important to note that NFA is not the same as "proven innocent". Not at all. It simply means the CPS determined that their wasn't enough evidence to convict, and the threshold for this is higher than many people think. CSA in all it's forms is a notoriously difficult crime to prove and the technology that perpetrators are utilising gets more sophisticated all the time.

I’ve said YABU because I think your mental health struggles following (what was obviously a horrendous time for you all), are something for you to work through and there isn’t anything the police can do to take those away.

The police have to act accordingly when they have intelligence. It’s innocent until proven guilty and the NFA suggests there wasn’t enough firm evidence of a crime. I think you need to find a decent provider of talking therapies because it’s not healthy to live this way, and I’m sure you would prefer not to.

A whole plethora of reasons that don’t equate to innocence. Have a read of the burden of proof in criminal prosecutions, the CPS thresholds, the public interest tests, resource limitations, complexity of investigations vs the public interest benefit.

There isn’t enough resource, or room in prisons, or probation officers to convict every individual accessing CSA.

I disagree. When they seize everything and find nothing it means there is nothing. Their technologists are forensic. If it’s there they will find it.
you speak as if the police have no errors which is naive at best.

and no, it is not a waste of police time to apologise or to give some information about why they investigated. That should be a standard part of procedure. We don’t life in a police state.

you have a strange attitude that suggests the police have no responsibility towards the wrongly accused.

Yup - I’m the threat to the vulnerable. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

If they found anything he would not have just been released free of charge. They would be very aware something was found but that the CSA chose not to proceed.

if nothing was found, there was nothing they found.

What a stupid post.