Depersonalization/ feeling I’m not real

[Handholdneeded40]

I’m really struggling. I was unwell for 6 weeks from late November which made me quite anxious and depressed and this last week I’ve been suffering a with awful feeling that I’m not real and nothing around me is real . I’ve had it before when I was at uni and it’s absolutely horrible.
It’s consuming me and I’m struggling to function. Racing thoughts from the moment I wake up, im checking myself constantly- wondering if my house is real and thinking I’m living in a dream. My Dp doesn’t understand which makes things trickier.
I wondered if anyone else was going through this and what helped?
Ive just re started citalopram and going to increase to 20mg tomorrow. I also have propanolol which isn’t doing much.
I’ve booked private CBT for next week but wondered what other things I should be doing ? I’m so scared.

This is really awful. I'm so sorry people are experiencing such distress.

My 15yo keeps saying he has this. He hasn't. He's watched too much TikTok and is jumping on the bandwagon.

I have explained to him what it really looks like and about grounding exercises, mindfulness etc but nope -
Still happy to be out and about with his mates doing sport and amusement parks etc.

It's like when people say 'I'm a bit ocd or have a touch of the flu'. Totally undermines the severity.

Just sending support xxx

You're . not alone

No amount of grounding or mindfulness (which is actually detrimental to dissociation, as it keeps you focused on your internal self) will cure this.

I'm actually shocked to hear that this is even a bandwagon to jump on from TikTok. It's debilitating, terrifying and really traumatic. Especially for those of us who can have it for months, with no respite to remind you that you are not insane.

20 years ago when I first had a breakdown, this has been the aftermath of that breakdown and has lead to genuine PTSD.

I know your boy is at an impressionable age and It's "cool" to say you have a mental illness these days, but please, please educate him on the actual horrors of a dissociative disorder. Not being able to leave your house is the end result.

@overthinkersanonnymus oh don't worry I'm not indulging him.

I know how real and debilitating it is, but like with neurodiversity you can convince yourself of anything with a few clicks and a clever algorithm

@saladandchipp 100% true!

I experience this too OP, it's a very odd and uneasy feeling so I sympathise! I put the radio on or read a book or go into the garden for fresh air to try and distract myself a bit. Even a phone call with family/friend helps me feel more 'real' if you see what I mean.

Op how are you doing?

I saw a mental health person yesterday who thought it didn't present like dissociation. She said it had lasted to long, but I've read differently.
She arranged for me to talk then to a GP as concern for a physical . reason.
I have history of a ruptured brain aneurysm sadly.

Gp and I didn't think it was a functional physical brain thing so I'm still not really sure what's going on.

I'm wondering should I take myself to a+e, but as discussed with GP it could be vascular or migraine.

Have you got any better or had any change?

Have you been able to speak to anyone ?

Hugs xxx

@Tcateh I'm still not good unfortunately. The DPDR is really stubborn/persistent and so scary. I absolutely despise it. I would give my right arm to get rid of this.
I'm now on week 4 of 20mg citalopram and i'm not really noticing any changes other than increased appetite. Mentally I am the same. My family think I must be getting better if my appetite has come back but sadly my head is still a total frantic chaotic mess, which is obviously not visible to other people!

I tried 4 sessions on CBT and didn't really find it helping much, but that may be the therapist so I am looking for someone else now.

I have just subscribed to an American anxiety coach called Lily Sais so I will start watching her videos/recordings in the next few days.

My GP has been useless. She is dragging her feet over letting me trial HRT ( I feel perimenopause may be contributing to this) and she won't let me increase my Citalopram. I feel stuck in terms on medical assistance.

My sister thinks I may have ADHD (she was diagnosed at 44) but I am not sure I am ready to go down that rabbit hole.

I am either needing to save up to see an actual psychiatrist or a menopause doctor, or both.

Sorry to hear you are still struggling. I don't think many people at all really understand this symptom. It can last from a few days to much much longer so your MH person was not correct with that comment but it may be worth ruling things out with a scan if you can?

I'm on an old android phone so can't ' like' any posts but I am trying to keep up and for you to know id read this xxx

Particularly out of it this morning.

Perhaps; slow increase of anti d is best for you right now? Not sure.

Try not to bombard yourself with info, courses, therapy.

Believe me I absolutely know why you are, and doing all you can to fix this.
I'm doing the same but getting more stressed subconsciously.

I am thinking of you.xxx

It is horrible.

Message me if u feel up to it
I'll try to answer via the desktop version.

X

Hi I’ve just read your post and was wondering how you are now .. I’ve had this for months and just can’t shift it it’s really getting me down 🥹

Hi I too was wondering how you are getting on I too am suffering from this I am on week 9 :( so scary and especially when having young children and having to really just get on with it
any advice/tips or just support would be great GP just recommend anti depressants