Liam Payne and why people only matter when it’s too late?

[Pomped]

I’m going through a very difficult time at the moment south my own depression and the news of this young man’s tragic death has impacted me a lot.

Reading the tributes to him, where were all these people when he was alive? It breaks my heart that if he were to understand the love and respect for him just a couple of days ago, things may not have ended as they have.

For me it’s one of the hardest things to reconcile. How do you access that love when you’re still here, battling as best you can but trying to be strong.

No suicidal thoughts btw - I’m just so sad and reflecting on why these things happen.

We don’t know what help and support he was getting privately. maybe he was getting support behind the scenes.

None of that changes the reported facts leading up to his death. He was in early recovery. Anyone who knew him or had cared for him had a responsibility to him at that time to DO NO HARM.

This. ^ I believe that this is what the OP was getting at from her wording in her OP. (And this is what I was getting at too.)

I massively agree with you

I disagree, I think this is a conversation that needs to be had. Thankfully my mother doesn't use social media anymore. However during an episode a few years ago, she would make daily posts about how alone she was and nobody cared. I was on the receiving end of some very nasty messages from new friends she had made at a day care centre who where only privy to these posts. They didn't know me or our past, or the fact I still did her weekly food shop, cleaned the house after a full day in work with five children of my own. I never replied or posted to the comments. I ended up blocking my mum and eventually came off all social media.

Mental health struggles and addiction can make people hard to support. Someone can be a kind, sensitive person, but also when in poor mental health or deep in addiction they can also be scary, selfish or quite unpleasant to be around. This obviously isn't always the case, but the impact that addiction and poor mental health has on someone can make it very hard for others to be there for them long term.

I couldn't give a flyer about the fawners. I care about the fact he was thrown under a bus by his ex fiance - and with no criminal charges- dropped by his label. If you think the two are not linked you are delusional. The public outcries are stupidly misguided.

That doesn't excuse Mayas behaviour

Deleted. Duplicate post.

Yes it IS a conversation that needs to be had!

Once upon a time I wrote to a core group of people I thought cared about me and told them how bad I was feeling (well not quite how bad, but that I was feeling pretty bad) and asked them to write a few nice things they'd say about me if I died on a post it, because it wasn't any use to me when I was dead. Post- It to keep it short for everyone.

They all did. They all wrote more than one Post-It too.

I still have them and just knowing they're there has been helpful at times. Occasionally I take them out to read them.

Do we know the state of her mental health either?
My general view is that noone is innately bad. People act certain ways for a reason, whether that's mental health, childhood experiences, adult trauma. If we are looking at reasons for one person's faults we also need to look at reasons for another's.
She can't have been all bad for him to be so persistent contacting her for starters. We don't know enough to judge anyone in the situation accurately.

Why do so many of you think other people are responsible for your happiness? Why do you crave so much attention? Take responsibility for yourselves.
If you have spare capacity then try and help others. It’s exhausting how many people need supporting through their lives these days.
None of you know why this young man had this tragic ending. You’d all be angry if the platitudes weren’t forthcoming. Yes they are platitudes. He’s dead. Nobody foresaw it. Everyone has problems.

@NotOneOfTheInCrowd why is it in bad taste? In an age when everyone quite rightly wants to talk about mental health why should we not talk about the messy grey areas where someone seemingly has it all but suffers quite badly. And then loses their life far too young. Of course we should talk about it. However hard

Don’t be so naive. Humans are relational creatures. No one lives in a bubble and if you think people should man up get the heck off mental health threads.

He was publicly pilloried by his ex fiancé. Shamelessly. Not bc she was in turmoil. She wrote a sodding book.

He lost his livelihood most likely as a result of her legal ‘letter’ (not criminal allegations and most likely as a result of her BOOK) and publicity. So what if she had mental health issues. That doesn’t mean she had the right to do what she did. Knowing full well the scale of his situation and early addiction recovery. It was beyond irresponsible. And then it was compounded by his label. All of them have a big role to play. And a responsibility.

It's all performative for the press because they don't want to look bad. They will be saying other things behind the scenes.

He wasn't a nice person.

But being loved doesn't stop suicidal feelings, or not for me anyway. It doesn't stop the pain of life surrounded by other humans.

Awful post!

The poster who talked about the grey area between “acceptable” mental health struggles, through to the messy stuff and tragically sometimes the end.

We need to talk about all this stuff, even the messy bits.

@Sjdjb i hope you are ok because that is a very unhappy post. Please reflect on the forum you are posting on. This is about exploring feelings and how we bring forward some of that love which could save lives rather than platitudes once it’s too late.

We are all responsible for each other's wellbeing which can affect how someone feels. We should treat each person we meet as we would want to be treated ourselves that is how I view humanity. I accept that you or the next person I meet isn't responsible for my mindset or mental health but how you treat me could have a profound affect on me personally.

And the responsibility communities have towards those people

Maybe spare a thought for Maya Henry, she's still alive. So many threads on here where the bf is using threats of suicide to manipulate gf into staying with him and the response is overwhelmingly to LTB, if he does it it's on him.

Liam Payne's fans have been blaming her.

It's sad when anyone dies, this young man had the resources to get help if he wanted it. Resources that too many regular people can't access at all.

I understand this feeling.