Liam Payne and why people only matter when it’s too late?

[Pomped]

I’m going through a very difficult time at the moment south my own depression and the news of this young man’s tragic death has impacted me a lot.

Reading the tributes to him, where were all these people when he was alive? It breaks my heart that if he were to understand the love and respect for him just a couple of days ago, things may not have ended as they have.

For me it’s one of the hardest things to reconcile. How do you access that love when you’re still here, battling as best you can but trying to be strong.

No suicidal thoughts btw - I’m just so sad and reflecting on why these things happen.

Post some pics then of all the 'celebrities' who have been 'paying tribute' to Liam, actually WITH Liam, from the past 5 years. Just one will do. Let's see how many times these people were with him - in the last 5 years. Go on then.

If they were friends/mates/close to Liam, there will be pics of them together from quite recently, somewhere. I have loads of pics with the people I am close to/the people I love from last week, last month, 2 months ago.

If there are no pics with Liam and these celebrities who are 'mourning' him, you can bet they have had fuck-all to do with him for YEARS. Not even a single message has been sent to him this decade (from most of them,) I am willing to bet!

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WelL the GF had flown home. Also I would stop speculating. It’s not as if people with money don’t have access to help, they do. All we know is that he trashed his hotel room, fell over the balcony and died. We know nothing else. Speculating about who cared and who didn’t is essentially without foundation.

When you're struggling with your mental health, you can push people away. And the reality is, people have their own lives and their own struggles to focus on too. Liam himself has said, he can hide his struggles very well. Despite that, I think it has been obvious Liam has been struggling in recent weeks but it doesn't make it any easier to help sometimes. We don't know what was happening behind closed door or who he was in contact with.

I think it really is you who is missing the point.

We are not privy to his interactions with others (nor should we be). Therefore there is no reason to make the giant leap that he was forgotten and unloved.

He was literally away with a girlfriend visiting a friend, those people were there we know that much.

It's a pretty ghoulish for you to try and use his death to attack random celebrities.

We don't know what happened, it's not our business, chill out.

I really didn’t want to cause upset or argument here 😔

Just reflecting on how it could be someone could access that love and realise it exists without it being after their death. Rightly or wrongly I feel that speaking out can push people away rather than closer. Once someone is gone they can no longer be a problem.

is the answer to be truly self assured and not need the love of others to find a reason to live?

I find this a really bizarre stance to take. Having a photo makes really what difference exactly? I see one of my best friends every week, for coffee, nights in, for meals, park trips with our kids, but we don’t take photos together on these trips. Our last photo together is probably our last night out from God, years ago. Does that mean our solid friendship doesn’t exist because I don’t have photographic evidence?

Another of my friends moved away to another country years ago, we are STILL in contact almost daily whether by text, facetime, calls, or group chats, we have supported each other through a LOT over those years… but by your reckoning unless I have a photo with her recently that friendship doesn’t exist?

You need to calm down

Think op means close people. Where were these people to claim to be like a brother to him when he was at his lowest.

You meant well, I can see that @Pomped but some people are just refusing to see what you are talking about. I get you, so just ignore the posters being deliberately obtuse. You're right. Most of the people/celebrities 'mourning' Liam Payne now, don't appear to have given a shit about him when he was alive.

I don't think any pics of Liam with the majority of these 'mourning' celebrities (from the past 5 years) is going to turn up any time soon. Point proven.

My mother was suicidal when I was young. I witnessed the after events of her suicide attempts. I never understood the personal hell she was dealing with at the time, she was loved so much. I would wash her hair, help her dress, massage her hands and feet with essential oils. Went to every ward round visited her daily when she was on a section sometimes twice a day. I couldn't bare the thought of her being there alone. When she was manic I would walk the streets with her, stay up all night when she couldn't sleep. I did everything I could. It wasn't until recently probably due to menopause I've started having intrusive suicidal thoughts, fortunately for me they pass quickly and I can see them as intrusive. Unfortunately my mum has schizo-affective disorder so in her depressive episodes she can't think clearly. A lot of her friends have disappeared because they are scared, and don't know how to help when she's I'll I don't feel any resentment. When you, a family member or friend are having a mental health crisis it's the loneliest place.

When someone dies unexpectedly young or suddenly it can provoke strong reactions whether they are famous or not. Part of me understands the outpouring of grief and shock in that sense.

However I agree that some of the posts on social media today seem disingenuous to me. Posting about the industry taking advantage or corrupting the young etc. From the little I know about him, his struggles with addiction were in the public domain and no-one seemed that keen to publicly support him then.

Obviously we don't know if his death was suicide or an accident but either way his last hours look bleak if the media have it even half way right -alone in a country and drunk or on drugs and thrashing hotel rooms. That's not a state I would want anyone to be in -famous or otherwise and if seems a waste of a man in his prime who had a young child.

@Mrsttcno1 agree 100%

Genuine friendship isn't about photos on instagram and Facebook

Speculating about whether Liam had the support of his friends on the basis of SM posts is a bit bonkers

Careful, your misogyny is showing. Trying to shut a woman down, with the laughable and patronising 'calm down' tripe.

Do me a favour. I am perfectly calm thanks dear, but even if I wasn't, who the hell are you to tell me to 'calm down?' FFS! 😂 I'm embarrassed for you.

How does anyone know this? How do any of you know who Liam was in touch with or spent time with?

This whole post is totally inappropriate and histrionic and full of baseless speculation. We don't even know if he died by suicide or by accident. Accusing his girlfriend of manslaughter is crazy behaviour.

Agree 100%

I do think this was a tragic accident. I think he was shut in that room to stop him causing more destruction by the hotel staff, he felt shut in and was high on drugs and he decided to jump off the balcony to escape, not a deliberate suicide attempt. It’s all very tragic, fuelled by drugs and would probably never have happened if he wasn’t famous.

How would you know who was messaging his personal phone? How would you know who he spent his days with? He was literally on holiday visiting a friend wasn’t he?

You’re saying where were they when he was at his lowest but how do you know he was at his lowest?! He bloody fell off of his balcony! Yes, his room showed a lot of drug usage but that could have been a typical day for him, who really knows. You seem to suggest that he was taking drugs because he was feeling low. You literally have zero clue. This thread makes no sense whatsoever. People are acting like he left a suicide note behind saying he was lonely and had no one in his life

Even if it was a 'tragic accident' Liam was clearly very troubled. And as the OP said, all the people mourning him, and saying how he was struggling, didn't appear to give a stuff about him when he was alive.

Gosh @ItsTheGAGGGGGGGGG do calm down dear. You sound so angry.

When someone is in the grip of addiction, it’s very difficult to support them. They will choose that addictive substance over human contact. That’s not a judgement; it’s just how it is.

'Troubled' people who use drugs can be absolutely awful to be around. They can be abusive, hurtful and preoccupied with drugs to the point of rejecting or stealing from loved ones. I'm not saying Liam Payne was any of these things but the idea that someone who was 'troubled' automatically deserves unconditional love and support of close people AND that this would make any difference to the outcome is short sighted and misguided.

Why does that mean it wasn’t suicide? He was in a bad way and threw himself out of the window. Not the same thing as tripping over the side. Well I suppose we’ll never know for sure. He admitted having suicidal thoughts.

Are you okay? Genuinely? You seem very aggressive over a post I’ve made when responding to the OP. There’s absolutely no need to be typing in capitals and telling someone to do something in order to back up their point. That’s not how adult’s have a discussion. I hope you have a nice evening

I agree. There is a chance they distanced from him for a reason, which is really sad when you look at how close he was to the others during all the 1D interviews.

People can be difficult to help when they are alive. If someone has addiction problems they can push people away or people might feel they have to keep a boundary in place to try and help them in the long term.

Of course when someone passes away the focus is on the person they were before the addiction took hold. There will be a lot of people wishing they had done more but sometimes it’s just not possible.