General support thread 2

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome. No judgement and kindness all around x

Hi just checking in here. Well am now about 19 days into fluoxetine 20 mgs - it’s helping ! Am extremely grateful it is as last week I couldn’t eat or think clearly. Still have some anxiety but more manageable. I don’t know how people survive when drug resistant.

Plan is to keep on taking it get back to exercise and yoga. Keep avoiding triggers though not always possible is it.

How are @Helplessandheartbroke @Dawn1331 @JamSandle @snowfoxglove @MsGoodenough and the rest of us.

Hi how are we all getting on @Helplessandheartbroke @EmeraldRoulette @JamSandle @Whycantgiraffesdance and the rest !

Im getting there ! Am eating ok now. Sleep is thankfully better

It's so good to see of many of you here.

When I first started I was in shambles. I'm not 100 % healed but I am better than in December. Plus this is the only thread on MN where I managed to make friends and open up. I remember people who post here and their stories and some of them remember mine so I don't feel like just a number.

@Cien75 When I first started it was also Fluoextine 20 MG and it was the best in terms of feeling like myself and having medication. You can do it. Most of us has been through this x

@Ilovedogs1 I know how that feels like. I still have days when I have OCD and intrusive thoughts. I am trying out Calm app and seeing if that helps. But setbacks do not mean all your hard work has gone down the drain x

@MsGoodenough Try not to overwhelm yourself and think how you have to solve everything all at once x

Sending UnMumsnetty hugs to all 💐

@snowfoxglove thank you for your kind words. Just feel a bit deflated that I'm having a blip when I've been feeling really well.
Intrusive thoughts and doubts from ages ago are popping up demanding my attention.
I know it's unrealistic to feel good constantly but when I feel like this I worry about being really ill again. Xx

@Cien75 im still here! Generally so much better than I was when I first posted on here! This thread has kept me going on many occasions!

I applied for nhs talking therapies AGEs ago and a link has just come through to say I can get a telephone appt.. I’m just trying to decide whether I still want it or not! I have found counselling really helpful in the past but I just don’t know if I want to talk about it all anymore now I’m feeling relatively ‘normal’ again! 🙈

Hope everyone else is ok today? X

Hi all

I hope everyone is doing okay.

I'm having a bit of a flat day today. I probably need to get out of the house!

I had therapy yesterday and it left me feeling horrible afterwards.

Still missing my ex greatly. Life felt so much more full and meaningful with him.

Ordered myself a takeaway as a bit of comfort.

Will get myself out for a walk later.

@JamSandle hope you managed a little walk. 😊
Just wondering if others experience overwhelming tiredness when their anxiety spikes? After a good spell having a few crap days and I feel so tired and kind of like my brains turned off@, like it's on slow motion.
Anyone else relate?

Hi all @JamSandle it’s heartbreak you’re going through - I’ve been there once so I know how intense it is. The only thing that helps is time along with small moments where it doesn’t hurt as much. I look back on it and I can’t believe I was so affected by not having that person in my life.

Daily I feel better I started to exercise again only small sessions - will build up. I’ve just got to live with the anxiety now the medication massively helps.

Thinking of you all and sending support to anyone who needs it I’m always here for a chat

Hello All. Debating whether to go back into therapy again. Just so sick of taking weeks to get them up to speed on my life. I know why I am the way I am, but that doesn't help me to change. Just don't know what to do for the best. Has anyone had therapy that really made a difference? Been reading old diaries and what is striking is that nothing changes. Entries from 10 years ago I could have written today. Very depressing.

I second other on yoga and exercise. The only things that seem to move the dial for me. Take care everyone.

Regarding therapy, I will be completely honest in terms of my experiences. I have seen a lot of Psychiatrists and they have been horrible arrogant people (other than one).

I have seen 2 Psychologists while in uni and they were nice but it was still hard afterwards. I needed friends whilst in (bad) uni and talking to psychologist there did make me feel a bit better.

I have seen one Psychotherapist whilst in a difficult relationships and it made me feel horrible. Even tho he meant well I ended up with even more stress and problems because talking about my problems while in a difficult sitiation made me feel like I had even more problems.

And a few months ago (I posted about it here) I was looking for private ones and they charges 75 £ per 50 minutes and I couldn't possible let someone take advantage of me when I was struggling.

I realised that a lot of them ask you a lot about your problems and life but don't disclose anything about themselves which makes you feel even more lonely.

If they are in demand they might even be short on empathy because they burn out talking to many people. I just realised I needed a friend, and if I had money I woukd rather spend it on something myself that makes my life better like kielyflower (those of you who remember her on this thread).

Personally I don't believe in therapy because I had greater benefit from friends and people who were just there when it was hard. People on MN apparently had good experiences but make say that you need to make sure you click with your therapists which only happened to me two times whilst in uni and that was free.

I'm just sharing my experiences. If I ever go back and change my mind I will post about it here.

But all this time I needed support and friendship because I was lonely. Someone psychoanalysing me who didn't experience my life just made me feel hollow and bad and even used afterwards.

Sorry to be blunt. I don't mean to put anyone off at the same time it's important to be honest. I think friends can even help more because talking with friends doesn't feel transactional.

Sorry for waffling on

@Helplessandheartbroke I hope you managed to get some sleep lovely xx I hope you are doing okay and that you got some support. You deserve good rest.

@Ilovedogs1 Yes absolutely. I feel so tired after going through anxiety and OCD. Those moments completely drain me and I feel like after being on constant alert, I get so tired and sleepy when I'm in a safe space (like a park) because I can fibally relax and not worry.

I still have moments of OCD and intrusive thoughts but they can't undid other work I did for myself.

I am glad some of us feel better. I managed to get through this weekend without getting into an argument and boundaries actually worked.

Sending hugs to @Cien75 @JamSandle @MsGoodenough @Whycantgiraffesdance and to everyone else on this thread X

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry I've not been on for a few days don't mean to be ignorant. Just been hard juggling everything and not having much time for myself (even 10 mins to look on MN!)

Thanks for everyone asking after me @Cien75 @snowfoxglove and anyone else. I hope youre all OK. Sorry to read some of you are struggling and I'm here for a hand hold @Ilovedogs1 @JamSandle etc x

Thank you 💚

I've had so many breakups so I should be 'used' to it. But it just feels like yet another one. And at 35 I'm really fed up of it. It's so painful. I feel I've lost so much and it hurts.

I'm trying to keep busy - work, friends, etc. But im so scared I won't get my 'happy ever after'.

How is everyone else doing today? I hope you had gentle Bank Holiday weekends.

Anxiety and OCD can definitely be tiring as they are so relentless. Keep holding on.

Just thought I’d jump on again. As I may or may not have mentioned before, I’ve been in 2 hospitals for 2 periods of 2 weeks each.

It’s interesting because I was only really in for chronic anxiety, severe depression and suicidal thoughts. The times spent in A&E (2-3 days each time) weren’t fun at all but at least I now know that I’m supported and being looked after and also that yes there are people far worse off than me or even better off. I don’t like the side effects of the drugs I’m taking but at least I’m being monitored.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain sounds like you are in the right place, hope the side effects of the medication get better.

I was feeling a lot better towards end of last week but having an anxious day today.

I'm glad you're doing a bit better.

What are the side effects? They should settle down as your body adjusts go them. Can you keep a diary of what they are and score them out of 10 each day to see how you go?

Hi all. @JamSandle I too have been through three break ups in my life. The one was particularly bad but I think I have abandonment issue (childhood) really should have had therapy but you didn’t in the 80 s and 90s. You’re only 34 plenty of time for you yet.

Am feeling a lot lot better than I did a few weeks ago. Back to exercise again which really soothes me. Won’t ever be totally relaxed/anxiety free but I’m working on it.

Thinking of all of you sending support love this place

Thanks Cien :) I've had quite a few breakups. I would say 4 particularly bad. Sometimes I feel like it's more than my fair share but I don't really know what's normal. I also know I'm the common denominator and I am in therapy to work it out.

I'm sorry you had a bad breakup too. How are you feeling now? Exercise really is a life saver isn't it? I need to be doing it more. How are you going today?

Oh lovely @Helplessandheartbroke I really wish I could be there for you and I would like to help you in practical ways.

I am really so sorry you are exhausted. When we are exhausted everything is amplified. I noticed that you are doing a lot, I just wish someone would help you out so you have 1 week of proper self-care and good rest.

You're not ignorant. TBH if it wasn't for you we probably wouldn't even continue these threads and helped each other. You're the ond who has done so much for a lot of us. It breaks my heart to read you're so exhausted.

You're important and you're worth good things without constantly being knackered to make others happy ❤ Thinking of you lovely X

Thanks so much @snowfoxglove it was heart warming to read that after the day I've had today. A tough therapy session then a tough day at work then trying to console a friend who's bereaving! How are you lovely? I wouldn't have continued without some of you lovely people! I wish we could have a nice brew and chat x

@Cien75 @JamSandle @popandchoc @Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain I hope you're all doing better. Heartache is difficult but you will get through it! Youre strong and deserve happiness. I hope you're doing better after the last hospital visit @Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain x

Hello all

thank you @Cien75 for asking

My main issue is definitely loneliness still - just shouting that into the void. I am grateful though, I mean it’s a year since my nervous breakdown and I’m fine otherwise. That’s really something!

I apologise if this next comment seems a bit leftfield but I thought I’d post it in case it’s helpful to anybody…

I have been spending far too much time on here the last week. And looking at threads (that are not in the mental health section) something I’ve found quite striking is how many people have support with various aspects of their life.

as you guys know, I was in treatment for decades. In all that time when the doctor asked me if I had support, I say no and laugh. There’s only been one appointment where I’ve been able to answer the question with yes, in a period of 25 ish years.

But looking at some threads, it has struck me that if I had had more support, I might not be so strong. I don’t think of myself as strong but starting to see - I am. 🤔 I might have actually done worse if I had had some support so if anyone else is battling along without support, I hope that might be of some comfort.

I also remembered that about 20 years ago I was referred to someone like an NHS manager for area mental health I think it was? Don’t know if those still exist? who refers you on if they think you need counselling.

She thought that I didn’t need it. I agreed - and not just because I was working 60 hours a week at the time 😂

She was one of the most impressive people I’ve come across in my NHS treatment (which includes other physical ailments especially after my big accident). Smart and kind. And she said to me “people like you will be in a much better position later in life because you’ve had to fight for so much yourself.” here I am later in life 😱😂 - I think she was so right.

In terms of her being brilliant, I think the staff as a whole are much more constrained by protocols and not being able to see patients as individuals now.

That’s completely separate to social loneliness by the way. I hope this makes some sense.

Sorry that was long.

@EmeraldRoulette such an inspiring post! Thank you. I can semi relate... if that makes sense. I had a lot of support during my breakdown. So much so that I no longer feel it be fair to burden people any more so 7 months on 8 keep things to myself/my therapist. I don't talk to anyone in RL about my struggles and its helped me move on as I have no choice. Well done for doing it for so long! X

Thank you @snowfoxglove . I'm currently looking at private therapy for £145 a session. When I'm also contemplating divorce that seems an insane waste of money. But then I'm desperate... Sorry I'm no good at keeping up with the thread. Interesting thoughts on support. I think I rely too much on friends if anything. I can be texting 5 different friends the same stuff at once.

Hi to all of you. @MsGoodenough yes that’s quite a price for the therapy ! I’ve never had any possibly would benefit- just can’t afford it currently. I might self refer on the NHS app- for me it’s anxiety that’s the problem. It comes and goes it’s been terrible over past few weeks now I’m calmer. Exercise/yoga even a soak in the bath all help. Definitely talking to friends etc helps but I’m not talking to them about my anxiety - just being around them can help. Hope you’re ok.
Have great weekends all :-)