General support thread 2

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome. No judgement and kindness all around x

@Whycantgiraffesdance thanks, I'll give it a bit longer, and try to be more patient with myself. I think because I was feeling a bit more stable, this weekend just really knocked me.

@robinshields that's interesting. I've been taking them within an hour's window generally, but will try being more precise.

@Helplessandheartbroke I hope therapy goes well for you today x

I totally understand @jbiscuits i feel like I’m on the up one minute and then back down a few days later, hopefully this was just a blip for you and then you’ll start to see improvement again.

hope everyone else is having an ok day xxx

Therapy was certainly intense. It's floored me for most the day, a lot of tears. How is everyone? X

@Helplessandheartbroke Is that high intensity CBT? Sounds like it would certainly leave you reeling. I hope you feel better tomorrow. How often will you have them?

My trip to London was almost completely pointless. I don't think I'm going to enjoy this temp job at all.
And I got hardly any sleep last night because everything was playing on my mind big time. so my anxiety this morning was worse than ever.
I applied randomly for a job in a completely different part of the country not thinking anything would come of it, and I have a video interview tomorrow. I'm in no state of mind to be doing interviews, but I really need a decent paying job. I just don't have confidence in interviews at the best of times.
GP is supposed to be phoning sometime tomorrow to follow up since I switched medication. It's still 2 weeks till my phone assessment for talking therapy.

@fara20 I slept well I think I was so drained I needed it. Sorry the job wasn't what you hoped. Are you not going back? Are you up for a big move? X

@Helplessandheartbroke Glad you slept well. I slept ok, was so exhausted.
I have to keep going with the temp job, I need the money.
I don't feel like I want to stay here. I'm lonely. I feel like I made a stupid mistake moving here. When I lost my last job contract I took the car off the road to save money and things are so far away without the car. Moving for a job doesn't seem like the worst thing now, at least it would be a foundation. I don't know, I'm not capable of making rational decisions.

@fara20 can I ask where abouts you're from? I'm assuming you're near London now? Is there a base you have family/friends you can consider moving to? X

hi @Helplessandheartbroke I'm really rootless. My parents upped and moved us away from extended family when I was 4. Because of a pretty traumatic childhood, I left when I was 18. I met my ex and moved with him to Scotland. We were together 11 years, but it fell apart in the end. It took me a long time to recover. I was fairly dependent on him. There were a few years of destructive behaviour.
Eventually I felt I wanted to move back to England and was encouraged by what I thought was a good friend to move to where she was. Even though she turned out to be not such a good friend, still I survived the ups and downs. But when my last home became unliveable and I was stressed out due to change of landlord, rising rent, nightmare neighbours etc, I needed to move out. I was working remotely, I didn't see a need to stay in the same town that was too expensive. I was feeling quite independent at the time, I thought I'd find a quiet, more affordable place and get some cats. So I moved north. 2 months later I lost the job, I fell rapidly into another deep depression, and here I am.
Because of all my unfixed issues I'm terrible at lasting friendships. My brother has his own life. My one good friend lives near a seaside town with her husband and they're very self contained.

How is everyone today?

my partner is away for the nite so just me and the kids which has made me really anxious but I’ve coped so far so taking that as a win! Still very anxious in general, recently upped the dose on my meds though so thinking it could be that that’s making me a little worse. I just wish I could switch off my thoughts, find it really hard to distract myself from them, any tips gratefully received!

been thinking about u @hk1993x as you haven’t been on in a while. Really hope you are ok xxx

Hi all,
I had my first psychotherapy appointment yesterday and it was ok. More of a mapping out of what's wrong, how we are going to treat it. He is sure it's PTSD and will do EMDR.

I made the mistake of telling my mum. She said what have YOU got PTSD from? And them proceeded to say I should just leave it in the past and move on with life as life is hard and full of awful experiences.

I was hurt by that, there's some truth in it, but I'm struggling and that's what she said.

@fara20 are you living in the countryside and quite isolated, I think I remember reading?
So you have no ties to the place you are, but also feel rootless?

@Whycantgiraffesdance could you have a little pamper evening? Make a really nice pasta recipe, do your nails, face mask etc and watch something on Netflix? I only say that because when I get that anxious I always feel better with some sort of a plan, it helps me not think about the uncertainty of the day.

@stars345 I'm sorry your mum said that. I've read EMDR can be helpful for trauma.

Yes I'm living quite far away from things. I had this vision of living quietly. I didn't know I was going to have another mental health disaster. I've booked my car for MOT test in 2 weeks. If it passes I will get the road tax. Then I won't feel so trapped, I hope.

Hi all sorry I've been so absent ❤️

I'm now on 20mg fluxoetine and had to start lithium last night.

The doctors at the hospital let me down massively, basically the psychiatrist I seen said he's seen more fucked up people than me and that there was nothing else they could do and I was being discharged from intensive home treatment team.

I'm under the community team and the psychiatrist has put me on lithium but I've had to come down in fluxoetine dosage.

I'm still here, fighting! Hope your all well ❤️❤️

@stars345 i do try and keep as busy as possible to try and distract myself but can’t stop my thoughts wandering! 🙈

ah I’m glad ur still here and fighting @hk1993x and sorry you weren’t treated very well by the hospital psychiatrist, I think that’s quite key to getting help for mental health in finding the right person to listen and take you seriously! Hopefully this new medication will help a bit x

Hello everyone. Sorry I've been quiet for a bit, I've been away for a week.
I've felt really well while I've been away and I still feel quite good atm 🤞but I've definitely felt an up tick in the anxious feelings since I've been home.
Hope everyone else is ok. X

Hi all sorry I've been absent we had a family weekend away. I got too drunk on Friday and made a fool of myself. Anxiety is ridiculous atm.

@Ilovedogs1 where did you go? Anywhere nice?

@Whycantgiraffesdance hope you got through OK im sure you did.

@stars345 people just don't understand but were here for you.

@hk1993x I'm sorry you had a shit doctor! Hope you're ok.

@fara20 is there somewhere you think you could settle?

Sending best wishes x

Hello everyone. I hope you've all been okay. Sending love and hugs to each of you.

@Helplessandheartbroke I'm sure you didn't make a fool of yourself.

I feel very embarrassed about my situation. I spent all day yesterday anxious and unable to do anything. But I guess I've just got to keep on.

@JamSandle hey! How are you? X

@snowfoxglove how are you? X

@fara20 without going into it too much on here, I absolutely messed up and was an idiot. I'm gonna knock drinking on the head for a while. What are you embarrassed about? X

I'm not in a good place today. I have the day off work and am just in bed. I cant eat. I have therapy later. Really struggling with my breakup and feelings of shame, guilt, sadness and regret.

It is so painful.

How has everything been for you?

@Helplessandheartbroke I'm sure it will soon be forgotten whatever it was. Everyone does silly things when they're drunk.

I'm embarrassed to admit how messed up my life is I guess.

What is making you feel embarrassed? I feel mine is quite messed up too at the moment. I'm trying to distance myself from people who seem to have it all together. I'm drawn to those who are going through something and living more imperfectly like me.

@JamSandle It's hard to admit even on here that I basically have nobody. And it must be a reflection on me. It is, because I've been no good at friendships.

What makes you think you're not good at them? And is that something you can change?

Because none of them have lasted. Either I've f*ed it up or they've done something that upset me.