General support thread - come on in

[Kielyflower]

I couldn’t see a recent one of these so thought I’d start one.

I just feel I need to do something positive so will hopefully share some more thoughts later that I hope will help - others as well as myself.

In the meantime, feel free to check in as, if nothing else, it helps to feel less alone.

Hey how is everyone?

I think I need some different meds. I've taken a leap backwards recently. Every day I have a new worry and they're all daft I know this logically but I can't help it.

I hate myself and don't want to live like this anymore 😪 sorry for being so depressive x

Hey I'm not good at all either, I went in yesterdsy to get the ect today and the outpatient psychiatrist said the inpatient one won't do it as he wants to evaluate me himself.

So I left. I came home last night in floods of tears cause I built myself up to get the treatment. I was put in a tiny wee room with not even a toilet mirror or nothing.

I bumped into my outpatient psychiatrist as I was leaving and he walked me to go meet my husband at the car, he mentioned quetipine and I said I already had it before and he actually said fuck sake 🥹. I think I might be getting started on lithium cause I asked him would it not be better to try it while I'm still under the intensive home treatment team.

Feeling very flat, declared, emotional and just lost. I don't know what the answer is, I am just so fed up with this constant crying!!!

@jk24 how are you doing? Are you under psychiatry? I will hand hold with you today 💚

@hk1993x @Jk24 sending so much love and hugs to you both 😢 mental illness is absolutely brutal and I wish there was a magic cure for us all so we could all be free of it!

@Jk24 have u got a gp appointment lovely to discuss your medication? I guess that’s the first step.

@hk1993x im so sorry, your experience at the hospital sounds horrible, I can’t believe they got you there without checking everything was definitely in place! I’m not surprised you keep crying 🥺 so what is the next step for you now?

im holding u both tight today, I’m here if you want to vent! ❤️‍🩹xxxx

Thanks both. Hand hold for you too. Hope you're ok. Docs on Wednesday x

It was just a shit show. I lasted 4 hours and said I'm leaving. I prepared myself for over a week to go in and get the procedure etc which gets done a Tues and a Fri. When they said aw then nurses and the inpatient doctor want to assess you themselves blah blah then a decision will be made. I wasn't staying in there for 5 days. I'm not even suicidal, like yeah I have the thoughts I wish I wasn't here and that but I've never physically hurt myself. I'm just desperate to get well again.

I'm unsure of the next step. I see mhaats again tomorrow and I'm hoping they will provide some answers, I don't think anyone actually knows what is wrong with me or what to do with me 😔 it's affecting my life so much the now, even my marriage. I can see how much this is frustrating for him and I keep messaging him telling him its OK to leave its my fault etc 🥹

How are you all doing?

Awww hk I hear you and feel for you! It can only get better can't it!

Keep talking were here for you x

I’m sure your husband is frustrated @hk1993x but it’s probably frustration at the situation and the fact that he can see you need help and you’re not getting it. Don’t get me wrong it must be so stressful for the partners of someone suffering from ill mental health but they stay because they love us and just want us well again! Has your hubby given any indication that he wants to leave?

speak to the home treatment team tomorrow and see what they say, would u consider going back for the ECT if it was properly put in place for another time?

im not too bad today, I’m learning to cope a bit better day to day, I still feel very flat and anxious and have lost my joy but I’m surviving as best I can x

No he keeps assuring me that he just wants me to get better etc. And I dunno, if I got given it as an outpatient then yes I would but i know being on the ward away from home etc isn't for me 😔 xx

i hope the home treatment team can offer you some advice tomorrow @hk1993x it must feel utterly hopeless at the moment but there will be a way to make you feel better, u just have to keep fighting! We’re all behind u ❤️xxx

Everything @Whycantgiraffesdance said!

@hk1993x your dh loves you and mine gets so frustrated with me but it's because they can't help. Please keep us posted tomorrow x

Hope you are ok @hk1993x and u have a good chat with the home treatment team tomorrow. Here’s to a peaceful weekend for u xxx

No further forward. Spoke to someone yesterday, the Dr I've been seeing isn't back till Wed so they are going to bring in another Dr to try work out what the plan is next.

My hubby has booked a hotel stay in aviemore tonight for us all to go and do an adventure park tomorrow. He thinks the kids deserve a wee treat with everything that's been going on.

He said that I can stay at home and rest but I don't want to let the kids down 😔 I'm trying to put my big girl pants on and think it's only 1 night I will be home tomorrow but definitely got the fear.

I guess I am just in the stages of the unknown. I don't know what's going to happen, what plan they are going to make. I just feel like I am getting passed about 😔😔😔

Going to take a break away from my phone this weekend and try and be more present! 🙈

but wanted to wish everyone a calm, peaceful weekend if that’s at all possible! My ds has a few birthday parties this weekend which I usually am to anxious to go but going to try and take him to these 💪🏻

@hk1993x a night away sounds lovely, but I do understand the fear, I would feel exactly the same! But a change of scenery might make u feel a little calmer and when I know I’ve done Something for the kids it makes me feel a bit better ❤️ u’ve got this!

hugs to anyone struggling today xxxx

Hey how is everyone?

Hello, I'm new to this thread, just wanted to connect with people and get some words of support.

My anxiety is so high and I have that feeling of utter doom and despair at the moment.

I'm in one of those situations where I've been ignoring things for years and now things have come to a head, I have a hoarding problem and OCD which makes day to day life that much harder, I have an interest only mortgage and now I'm due to pay the bank as it's the end of the mortgage, I knew it was coming but it's like those letters you can't bear to open because of bad news, I just kept hoping I would be well and emotionally strong enough to get the hoarding sorted out, but it didn't happen especially due to an upsetting situation at work last year that was really unpleasant.

I've got to phone for advice and call the bank again and mortgage brokers tomorrow and I'm dreading it.

Has anyone felt like they have not been able to deal with practical things for so long, years even, that they have become what feels like a disaster?

I keep thinking how did I get into this mess.

Hey @KingArthur1964 glad you've joined us. There's a few of us here that suffer with ocd so can completely relate. Do you have any family that can help clear the hoarding? If its built up it probably seems daunting now but if you break it up room by room, little by little, you can fix it in no time. Re the mortgage I've still got about 25 years left on mine! So I can't help with that one but would defo be speaking to a mortgage advisor. Are you of an age where you can get a new deal over a good few years?

Hi @KingArthur1964 and welcome, though obviously sorry to hear things are a struggle.

You’re not alone with things - the OCD and the hoarding and letting things build up. Have you tried any treatment over the years, whether medication or therapy?

Depending what the bank say I’m wondering if you might also get advice on the financial stuff on the money matters board on mumsnet.

Quick hello to everyone else, I am mainly doing well at getting on with my life, am so much better than when I started this thread. I hope that gives others cause to be hopeful.

Life is not a bed of roses but I am functioning and finding both calm and joyful moments in amongst the usual ups and downs of things.

Sending calming and joyful vibes to those who need it. Breathe it in.

@KingArthur1964 yes welcome. I'm a fellow OCD sufferer.
@Kielyflower glad to hear your doing better. I have also had a better few days although have felt a bit ropey with a cold.
Only thing is I'm now feeling cautious and expecting it not to last. X

I can relate to that @Ilovedogs1 as soon as I start to feel a bit better I question it and can literally talk myself back into being down again! 🙈

@Jk24 @Ilovedogs1

Thank you for the welcome, it helps to know that you also have OCD, it really affects day to day life for me and it's not something many people can really understand.

@Kielyflower

Thank you, I feel so isolated at the moment and an awful feeling of doom, yes I've had medication years ago and in 2022 I tried to get help and was referred for CBT but it's a long story of things didn't work out.

I will have a look the money matters board.

Hi everyone. Had a pretty okay day. Been offered ECT as an outpatient! I start next Friday, go in the morning and will be home by the afternoon. I think the Dr I seen before had drawn a blank and got this other doctor who actually diagnosed me years ago with OCD. He's an inpatient and outpatient doctor who works with mhaats.

He mentioned about going on a thyroid medication used to treat an underactive thyroid? By my thyroid according to my bloods are OK. He said apparently that medication can mimic the thyroid to become more hyper and lift my mood so I'm gonna do my ECT (he mentioned 12 sessions) for the "quick fix" and then I would start medication and go bafk for "top up" ects if i ever relapse. Finally see that little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

Not going to lie I am absolutely petrified, I still don't know what even my diagnosis is but according to the doctors ect is going to be the most effective so fingers crossed. I need to get out this hole!

Hope you are all okay xx

@hk1993x let us know how you get on. Here for a handhold x

@KingArthur1964 yes it's an awful condition ocd! We're here if you want to vent etc x

@KingArthur1964 OCD really is so hard to explain to people isn't it. It's like deep down you know how illogical and irrational your thoughts are but the anxiety and fear you feel is so real.
Just off for a few days away. I'm already worrying that my irrational brain is going to ruin it. 😩

So glad u have a plan in place that you’re happy with @hk1993x I really hope it helps you to feel better! ❤️‍🩹 x