Anyone here got adult ADHD?

[Pegs11]

At age 43 I have just been diagnosed with ADHD (combined type), which I’ve had since a child but it has gone undiagnosed and untreated until now, because I always masked and internalised it.

I never even really knew what ADHD was, I thought it was just being hyperactive and impulsive. Now I know there is so much more to it… and it explains everything about how I experience life and the world around me.

I haven’t started the meds yet (hopefully next week) but I am keen to see how they might help. I particularly struggle with emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I’ve heard that the meds can help with this sometimes, but not always.

This feels like such a huge revelation… I never was able to understand, or explain to people, why I have always felt like my brain worked differently compared to others. For example, why things that seemed so easy to other people felt overwhelming to me. It is all beginning to make sense now.

I am starting to realise how fundamentally this condition has impacted on my life up until now and I’m pretty horrified.

I could really do with connecting with other people, especially women, who have experienced this… If any of you are out there and are willing to share your experiences and maybe answer some questions for me (I have so many!) please reply!

My mum struggles with CFS, always has. She might have looked into ADHD if she had heard about it when she was younger but she doesn't feel like she wants to pursue it as a line of enquiry. However we have been talking recently about some things which are coming up for her at the moment and I've persuaded her to talk to her doctor about childhood trauma which has really had a hold over her for such a long time. She's now on a waiting list to discuss potential c-PTSD. Would that be something that might be relevant in your case?

@Pegs11 I've only been taking 20mg fluoxetine for 4 months but it has really helped me. It's a low dose but I felt the improvement within 48 hours which was a real surprise as I was expecting weeks/months. Side effects have been minimal. However, I did try going up to 40mg (I was about to start back at work on a phased return and my psychiatrist and I thought it might be a good idea to give me a pre-emptive boost) and that was a disaster as the side effects were horrendous (and showed no signs of lessening after 2 weeks) so I went back down to 20mg and all is good again.

@BertieBotts I certainly do have PTSD, not sure if it’s c-PTSD (would need a proper assessment) but I suspect it probably is. I was also diagnosed bipolar many years ago, although I’m still not sure about that diagnosis… it always felt like it didn’t fit very well with my symptoms. And the medication I’m on for the bipolar (lamotrigine and amitriptyline) doesn’t seem to do much for me.

I have learned that people with ADHD (especially women) are frequently misdiagnosed as having bipolar. I recognise many more ADHD symptoms in myself than bipolar symptoms. But I’m aware also they can co-exist.

I’ve heard some of the top ADHD experts talk a lot about alpha-agonists (guanfacine and clonidine), as an add-on to the stimulants. Apparently they are very effective for around 60% people with ADHD who have high levels of anxiety and rejection sensitivity. It can be an absolute game-changer for them. It really feels to me like the stimulants I’m on can only do so much for me - they help a LOT with the mild to moderate ADHD symptoms, but not so much when I have severe reactive anxiety/anxious dysphoria (which is what I’m experiencing right now and it’s awful).

I did mention alpha-agonists to my psychiatrist at my last appointment, but she said the usual protocol would be to get me stable on the stimulants first, before adding anything else in.

I finally get my medication appointment 11th December after being diagnosed adhd beginning of September! I'm super nervous but just want to get on with it!

Following my diagnosis last week, I received my report today (including recommended next steps) and discovered that if I decide to try medication then I will no longer be able to drink alcohol. Is this right?

I know this might sound a bit pathetic, but I'm really quite sad about this! I'm not reliant on alcohol by any means, but life is tough and my glass of wine (or two) on a Friday and Saturday night feels like a real treat. I also enjoy the occasional letting my hair down and feel like I will miss this!

Has anyone else been through this? Will the medication be worth it?

If you're going to be on stimulant medication, it wears off by the evening so you should be fine to have alcohol then. I don't think most people go off alcohol on ADHD medication. Obviously if you're drinking a lot/have a drink problem, that would be something to discuss with your doctor.

I don't drink very often but I have certainly gone on nights out and not noticed anything different to normal.

It's better not to drink on medication if you can but many people do.

@thirdistheonewiththehairychest it’s definitely not advisable to drink while the meds are active in your system.

It may well be that if you take the medication in the morning, it will have worn off enough by the evening for you to safely enjoy a glass of wine. But please check with your doc.

Some people only take their meds on working days, which means they can do what they like on the weekend. Again, it’s best discussed with your doctor.

I am surprised by how little guidance I was given by my doctor as to the do’s and don’ts on the medication. She didn’t even mention booze.

I also read somewhere that you also shouldn’t have any vitamin C for an hour before/after taking your medication. So no fruit/fruit juice. (I think I read something about grapefruit being bad for some reason too but can’t recall why.)

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Hi, I am 45 and have just been diagnosed with ADHD. I should be getting medication soon (the assessor said it would change my life). He also said it will help with my binge eating disorder. For as long as I remember I have been either consuming about 7000 calories a day or 400. I do each of them for months at a time, and I don't eat meals just snack all day.

I basically don't know how to eat. Is there any food that you as an ADHD person find helpful to eat. I'm going to try to sit down and work out how to eat but I don't know how to start. I'm vegetarian and I don't eat fish (sensory reasons - I hate them both, rather than ethical). Anything would be helpful.

Btw I am not sure how I'm dealing with the diagnosis because I feel numb and guilty that I am putting my needs slightly more ahead of the way I normally would (everyone else in the family is autistic and I tend to work around all of them to make sure their needs are met).

Hi Knickers, first of all I would be cautious about the idea that it will "change your life" as for most people the effect is a bit more subtle and it can be frustrating/disappointing if you were expecting it to transform you into a hugely productive person immediately!

Are you seeing any specialist about the binge eating disorder? It might be that they can help you with a reasonable diet plan?

I can tell you what works for me which might or might not be helpful!

I find it useful to eat a variation on the same breakfast every day. So I have one of the following:

Museli with fruit and yoghurt and milk
Porridge
Fresh bread/bread roll with toppings like ham, salami, smoked salmon, chopped banana, jam, honey, nutella. (You could also have cheese but I don't eat cheese).
3x weetabix with milk and sugar

I can vary these by changing what fruit I put in it, what yoghurt I use and what to put on my bread/porridge.

Lunch I am struggling with at the moment, but have previously had success with rotating some staples like:

Something on toast (eggs/mushrooms/beans/sardines)
Easy pasta (pesto, left over sauce, just butter and pepper)
Filled tortellini with microwaved pasta sauce
Boiled egg and soldiers
Pot noodle
Beige air fryer food (e.g. chicken nuggets and chips)
Microwaved leftovers

Currently I am skipping lunch a lot because I can't seem to get into a good groove where I actually have 10-15 mins to prep before eating. I can get around this by buying a lot of instant meals (ready meals) and I am thinking of adding something like tinned soup, which is also nice and quick to make.

Dinner I find easier somehow because it involves everyone so it just seems easier to think of something but we have totally got into a rut here as well. I go through phases where I enjoy cooking and phases where I just want fuel and don't care what it actually is so prioritise low effort/low time.

Thank you for this, I'm not seeing anyone about the food because I don't really want to, I have been on and off medical/group based weight loss since I was 12- I was a little over weight and my mother took me to get me weighed every week by a nurse to 'sort it out' thus starting a really messed up eating pattern.
I see you have a lot of protein in your foods which I need to improve on. When bingeing I exclusively eat carbs and when (I guess starving) I only eat protein. Maybe I need to mix them up a bit more.
Thank you for taking the time to answer I really appreciate it.

@Knickersinatwist36 you don’t need to feel bad about putting your needs first. You have to fit your own gas mask before you can help others. Your diagnosis and medication hopefully will help you cope better with your challenges - which will benefit everyone in the family ☺️

I’ve been on medication for about three months now. I agree with @BertieBotts that the effect so far hasn’t been life changing, it is quite subtle. The diagnosis itself, coming to terms with it, accepting my limitations and beginning to get to know myself again in this context… that’s had the bigger impact. ADHD- psychotherapy is also helping.

@Knickersinatwist36 as for eating, I’m finding a reduction in my appetite on the medication, and also a reduction in my sugar cravings. It can get a little tricky when the meds wear off in the evening, but I try to make sure I graze (on relatively healthy snacks) during the day so I’m not ravenous when the meds wear off.

A proper breakfast is important, which you can eat before you take your medication.

Update: Had my Concerta dose put up to 54mg a few days ago. I feel a LOT happier and calmer on this dose… but also very, VERY sleepy!

The sleepiness starts about an hour after I take it and lasts all day… until bedtime when I start feeling more awake 😳😅

I’ve never been a daytime napper, but at the moment I’m taking 2-3 naps per day because I’m just so tired!

Basically, I think this dose might be too much for me… it seems to be over-calming my brain, making me TOO relaxed.

This is quite a rare side effect as I understand it. But it does happen. Someone without ADHD would likely feel wired and jittery on this dose but my ADHD brain is kind of wired the wrong way round!

I’ll have to give it a few days and see if my body adjusts to the 54mg. If not, I’ll have to reduce the dose. Or maybe take it at bedtime, haha!

In other news, I feel like I am really getting my shit together now, thanks to this diagnosis and the paths that have opened up to me as a result. The ADHD-specific psychotherapy is really helping - I’ve found a very good therapist. She has ADHD herself so she just understands, and is showing me ways to be kinder to myself and to trust myself more, as over the past few years, self-doubt had really set in. I’m learning to listen to my gut a lot more.

I’m also being much more proactive, going out more, connecting with others more, spending more time with the people who are important to me. Honestly it feels like I’m finding myself and I’m so pleased that I’m finally getting the support I need 😊

Oh one other interesting side effect: I have a massively increased libido, but finding it much harder to reach organsm. Which is VERY FRUSTRATING haha! I’ve had to buy a vibrator to do the hard work for me as my hand was getting tired 😂

Just had a really horrid comment from 13yo DD which has really rattled me.

At the dinner table my DH was telling the kids to have some self-control and stop poking each other. She said "What, like mum manages to have self-control when she's picking her lips?"

I get it, they tell me all the time to stop picking my lips, but I never realise I'm doing it. This comment came out of nowhere though and really stung. I managed to fight back the tears at the table (just about) but DD knows I'm really upset and has slunk off to her room.

I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago but haven't told the kids. I'm wondering now whether I should. I don't know how to deal with this.

Hello, I'm 43 and my 7 year old son has just been assessed for ADHD (won't get a diagnosis until next year), but ever since the psychologist at his ASD assessment suggested that he likely has ADHD not ASD, I've my mind has been in overdrive wondering if I have it. So many of the symptoms fit, but I keep going back to the "it's anxiety and depression" explanation that I've always been told because others just don't fit, even though meds have never really worked and I've never been able to stick with therapy properly. I feel like everyone else in my life has passed me by and I'm just stuck because I don't try hard enough.

So I started my medication yesterday had 2 doses so far. Its CONCERTA and I dont know if I'm imagining it but I feel like the Brain noise has stopped! I feel I'm making decisions easier and because I don't have the noise constantly I'm just doing tasks without even thinking about them or having the chronic procrastinating, it's really hard to tell if these are actually happening or I'm in my 'all' phase or 'all or nothing' has have been in nothing slum for weeks!

I know this post is a few months old, but OP you have described my life to a T.
After a 3 year wait, I’m hoping to be assessed soon.
I’m 9.999999% certain I have it.
As years now it’s been having a crippling effect on my life and family.
How is everyone finding their medication?
All I want is to settle my hectic mind and to get to grips on my emotions.

I thought i would come back as struggling to sleep 😑 I'm usually OK so this is random one off , I'm now in higher dose as 18mg kinda stopped working after few weeks I'm now on 36mg and it's so much better It's stopped the internal monologue and internal hyperactivity I felt like running through me weird to explain but like electricity and I'm less implusive with food and I am realising I could be autistic too as adhd traits have quietened so finally understanding why I over eat so much in relation to autism combined with the adhd causing food issues( lost 1 stone so far). But long way to go . as well as some other autistic mainly sensory issues that have come out buy definitely at better place and so pleased I started medication

6 months since my last post and still haven't been called for my assessment. Very disheartening. Physiatrist wants to try me on another anti depressant, which I'm very reluctant about after adverse reactions to both ssri and snri's, but it's neither of those.

Thank you all for this fascinating thread. How have people gone about getting a diagnosis? Two friends have independently said they think I have ADHD, and after a lifetime of mental health problems I am wondering if I should try to seek a diagnosis. But I have a near phobia of drs surgeries and medical stuff so not sure how I'd go about it!

I went through my GP because I couldn’t afford to go private. To be fair, I didn’t even have to go to my GP practice. I requested mine online and they agreed to refer me based on my symptoms.
You can go private. The issue is it’s not just the diagnosis. It’s the follow ups and if you want the medication it’s the cost of the private prescription plus the follow ups for monitoring.

Am wondering the same. Lifetime of MH issues here too, and labelled BPD when I think it is wrong.
But potential ADHD is preventing me from seeking an assessment to start with... getting an appointment, filling in the forms, getting evidence from your childhood, talking to family etc. I need someone to set me a deadline, and it might actually happen!