Anyone here got adult ADHD?

[Pegs11]

At age 43 I have just been diagnosed with ADHD (combined type), which I’ve had since a child but it has gone undiagnosed and untreated until now, because I always masked and internalised it.

I never even really knew what ADHD was, I thought it was just being hyperactive and impulsive. Now I know there is so much more to it… and it explains everything about how I experience life and the world around me.

I haven’t started the meds yet (hopefully next week) but I am keen to see how they might help. I particularly struggle with emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I’ve heard that the meds can help with this sometimes, but not always.

This feels like such a huge revelation… I never was able to understand, or explain to people, why I have always felt like my brain worked differently compared to others. For example, why things that seemed so easy to other people felt overwhelming to me. It is all beginning to make sense now.

I am starting to realise how fundamentally this condition has impacted on my life up until now and I’m pretty horrified.

I could really do with connecting with other people, especially women, who have experienced this… If any of you are out there and are willing to share your experiences and maybe answer some questions for me (I have so many!) please reply!

@Pegs11 yes, they are both good points. At 48, I can barely remember the details of my childhood and all the school reports have long gone. But, again inspired by what I have read here, I think I will give it another go.
It is so good to hear of Adult ADHDers getting help through the medication - keep going everyone!

The under 14 thing is interesting. I do know someone who was diagnosed in their 40’s and they said their partner and family members had to complete a questionnaire too. I wonder if that was in the absence of information being available from
childhood.

It's interesting how many Adult ADHDers appear to have parents (particularly Mothers) who are emotionally distance and lack empathy.

Not the case for me. My mother has been dead for 28 years so obviously couldn't contribute to my diagnosis (at age 53) earlier this year. I will discuss it with my 80 year old father at some point but he lives 250 miles away and is going through a stressful time right now (due to serious illnesses with family and friends) so I prefer to wait until he has less on his plate and I can talk to him face to face.

It was my first day on the meds today (Concerta XL, 18mg starting dose), and it has been utterly BIZARRE. The meds have had a profound effect on me… but not at all in the way I expected!!

I thought at such a low dose they would do nothing at all, or if I was very lucky, they would “work” and would boost my energy and concentration skills. I was expecting a boost in the morning from the instant-release part of the pill, followed by a mini-slump at lunchtime, and then another boost in the afternoon as the slow-release part kicked in.

What has actually happened is they’ve made me profoundly exhausted.

I didn’t notice much of an effect at all in the morning, I had my usual two hours of lethargy/hungover feeling followed by my usual two hours of “okay-ish” productivity. (Maybe a little less emotional than normal if I really think about it.)

Then at lunchtime, I had a massive crash. MASSIVE. And it still hasn’t gone away. I am absolutely shattered. Haven’t been able to work or do anything.

It feels to me like the meds have taken the edge off the “nervous energy” I’ve been running off for years, and what is left is someone who is really really exhausted and needs some proper rest.

It’s only day one so I don’t want to read too much into this. But it is very, very interesting and unexpected. I feel very calm… and utterly UTTERLY shattered.

I’m not on concerta but I remember my first few days on Elvanse and it was weird AF! I had crazy 72hr insomnia, headaches, muscle aches, twitches and I kept imagining/hearing things. Then it settled down and it was all good.

Basically just be kind to yourself over the next week or so.

@LittleRedYarny 72 hour insomnia, yuk! Glad to hear it all eventually settled down.

I’ve had a few other symptoms today too such as nausea and feeling a little bit spaced out.

But this sheer exhaustion is definitely the most significant thing I’m feeling. I’m off to bed in a minute, I’m done!

Not female and not me, but 28 year old DS was diagnosed at university. He obviously always had it, but there was so much else going on with him as a child it seemed like the least of his worries.
He doesn't medicate as his job doesn't allow it. His symptoms are what people typically expect, hyperactivity, poor emotional regulation, procrastination, implusivity... But I've said on here before that for him the hyperfocus works in his favour. He's doing a masters. For his final thesis he didn't even start drafting it until 24 hours before submission time. He did it and it will have been excellent.
But he isn't standard at all. I feel sorry for his gfs who last a couple of years then can't stand the chaos and can't change him. He loves nothing more than a drama and creates them out of thin air. That said he is popular, has a good job, home owner etcetc

I recently had an assessment for adhd to be diagnosed u have to show had adhd symptoms as a child. So I had letter from my mum as didn't have school reports. I don't know what people do if for example their parents have died. So no advice but I knew that's why they r asking.

I had my assessment with ADHD 360 and they went mostly on my recollections. I have old school reports but because I was bright my distractions were skimmed over. I had my Dad with me for the assessment but I don’t think he really remembered much detail of how I was as a kid. He worked long hours/travelled for work and some weekend hours when I was younger. My Mum was our main caregiver and she’s passed away.
I’d agree with asking other companies how they assess, it’s not essential to have that information if you can recall it yourself.

@Somanycats are you sure your son “loves” creating drama?

I “make dramas out of nothing” too, but definitely not because I love it. Things just affect me more deeply; to me, events can appear to be much more catastrophic than to other people, and perceived criticism can be blown out of all proportion in my mind. Because I can’t control my emotions. Once, we forgot to put our bins out before we went on holiday, and I had a mini meltdown over it. I was all like “no no no NO NO! This can’t be happening! Argh!” Daft now I look back on it. I get irritable with small things too, which can come across to others as “making drama”. But irritability is a classic ADHD symptom and can usually only be helped with meds, therapy or a combination of both. I wish I wasn’t like that, and that I didn’t react so strongly to things because it is not nice to feel that way at all and it curbs my enjoyment of life… I don’t love it, I hate it. I am hoping that my diagnosis/meds/therapy will help me, but I am only at the beginning of this journey.

Third day on Concerta XL, have adjusted my dose slightly as was getting ridiculously exhausted by 12.30pm and for the whole rest of the day.

Today I added in 9mg fast-acting at 12pm and got three hours of being a “little bit” productive, although a bit spaced out. Now I’m sleepy again but I feel soooo relaxed. It’s lovely. I haven’t been this relaxed and chilled out ever in my life.

Can’t work though, I’m too sleepy for that.

I just had a bath and it was the loveliest bath I ever had, it felt like a big warm cuddle. Now I’m just sat on my sofa feeling chill and sleepy and unproductive haha.

This is blissful, but I need to get stuff done, I can’t get any work done like this! Maybe a higher dose will get me there.

@Pegs11 Oh isn’t it magical! It’s like the volume has been turned down in your head. It’s day 3 just enjoy the loveliness and give yourself some permission to explore medication and not get it right on the first dose and be the most productive of productive people that has ever lived! And if giving yourself permission doesn’t work, some of us here will sign you a permission slip 😝

@LittleRedYarny aw thanks! Yeah I am allowing myself to enjoy this much-needed rest from the noise and chatter inside my head.

I just read some interesting stuff about how the meds don’t actually treat executive functioning problems (like inability to be organised, forgetfulness, time blindness, etc) but they can give you the energy and motivation to learn how to get better at those things. Now I understand why people say the meds aren’t a panacea. To be honest those issues are secondary for me anyway. First and foremost I just want to be more “at peace” in my mind. That would make such a huge difference to my well-being. I had a taste of it today and it was amazing. One thing that happened earlier was I actually had a conversation with a neighbour I bumped into, and I just found things to say without even really trying, the words just came to me and they felt appropriate in both tone and content, and the conversation between us flowed and it just felt so much easier than normal. Usually it’s an anxious battle to properly listen to what they’re saying, and then figure out the right thing to say in response, and then afterwards I dwell on it wondering what they think of me… haha. It was so different today, I’m not used to it and it felt really weird, but good!

@Pegs11 good luck today, it’s nearly the weekend thank goodness!

Out of curiosity/solidarity (and apologies for the thread hijack) any one else wonder how many people with ADHD who are really good at their jobs and loyal had the spirit crushed out of them because of their differing approach (that gave the same result) and ended up just walking away because the emotional cost of being judged was just too much.

Yestersay was particularly wretched topped off with a double long drive home due to the M25 and I’m feeling a little lost and fragile.

Following as I'm awaiting my assessment. I'm 38.

Does anyone manage without meds? I was on sertraline for a year ("anxiety" which, in hindsight were a binch of adhd symptoms!) and absolutely hated it.

Think I'm looking more for answers and coping strategies from my diagnosis and would like to avoid meds if possible.

@LittleRedYarny With regard to jobs, it’s been really tough because I always felt like I had a lot to offer - I’m bright and creative and I really care about doing a good job, I’ve done some amazing things that have really impressed people (not blowing my own trumpet, just saying how it is - give me an interesting task and I’ll do it brilliantly). But my performance at work has been inconsistent in every job I’ve had, and at times I’ve suffered such powerful overwhelm/task paralysis that it’s led to me losing jobs. I didn’t know back then that I have ADHD, and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t perform consistently. The highest-paid job I had was the most unrewarding mentally, and so that didn’t work out. It’s so weird how the ADHD brain just won’t let you focus on boring things, no matter how hard you try. If

I’m now in a job where my line manager is much more understanding and the company itself is neurodiverse-friendly. It helps. Although it doesn’t solve the underlying problem of course. But they are flexible.

@Pegs11 thanks for the solidarity. I’m having one of those doubting mornings and I’m just to scared/overwhelmed to switch on my laptop.

@LittleRedYarny I feel you. Go easy on yourself.

Glad I came across your thread. Just posted something similar seeking advice.

It's interesting how many Adult ADHDers appear to have parents (particularly Mothers) who are emotionally distance and lack empathy.

I actually believe there are either two distinct conditions currently called ADHD - one which is primarily genetic and one that is caused by the impact of childhood trauma on the brain OR there are two routes to the same issue.

This isnt proven yet but there are more and more people in the scientific community who have a similar hypothesis.

It would also match other conditions such as Anti-Social Personality Disorder where more and more it's looking like there are two distinct types - psychopathy (purely genetic, requires no childhood abuse, tend to lack all empathy, tend to plan) and sociopathy (may or may not have a genetic predisposition but required childhood trauma to 'switch' the gene on, can lack empathy for many but can still form some kind of attachment for a small number, tend to be more aggressive lashing out rather than premeditated planning).

Apologies for the comparison subject matter - obviously I'm not suggesting we have anything in common with psychopaths other than potentially a similar nature / nurture mechanism at play.

Isn't it funny when you think something is "just you" but it turns out that so many others have a remarkably similar experience? :)

I like to play a game with myself sometimes called "Is this ADHD, or am I just a dick?"

What is the Doctor's name?

Have they been able to help you?

I have to go back to work on Monday as I simply can't afford anymore time off but am still practically unable to leave my house as I have such severe anxiety (and I don't suffer from anxiety normally at all).

I saw you mention scalp picking OP.

I'm also a scalp picker! Generally I manage to keep it somewhat under control but with this weird COVID related anxiety episode I now have a bloody bald patch

Going through diagnoses now at 51, and just starting treatment for binge eating..

I don’t think the grief has hit me but it will I am sure, as it has royally fucked things up. However, I try to remember that other things have gone right and it isn’t a full explanation for what hasn’t.

Hi, another one here.
I think I have lost it since peri-menopause hit me. It has exacerbated what I believe are ADHD symptoms in me. I am miserable, just limping on. I have a nice family and a decent job, but I feel so terrible.
I've just filled in some assessment forms for a private ADHD assessment.