Anyone here got adult ADHD?

[Pegs11]

At age 43 I have just been diagnosed with ADHD (combined type), which I’ve had since a child but it has gone undiagnosed and untreated until now, because I always masked and internalised it.

I never even really knew what ADHD was, I thought it was just being hyperactive and impulsive. Now I know there is so much more to it… and it explains everything about how I experience life and the world around me.

I haven’t started the meds yet (hopefully next week) but I am keen to see how they might help. I particularly struggle with emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I’ve heard that the meds can help with this sometimes, but not always.

This feels like such a huge revelation… I never was able to understand, or explain to people, why I have always felt like my brain worked differently compared to others. For example, why things that seemed so easy to other people felt overwhelming to me. It is all beginning to make sense now.

I am starting to realise how fundamentally this condition has impacted on my life up until now and I’m pretty horrified.

I could really do with connecting with other people, especially women, who have experienced this… If any of you are out there and are willing to share your experiences and maybe answer some questions for me (I have so many!) please reply!

Hey I got diagnosed at 38 on meds at 40
Take them twice a week as I don't like who I am on them but I get the work done I need to at work

Congrats on your diagnosis

You will shortly hit a wall of grief which is normal, as you will realise what adhd has const you

Really good sources of support are:
Adhdaf podcast
Loads of adhd accounts on line - a good med journey was on Instagram adulting through adhd

Hi, got diagnosed at 38, started non-stimulants and after 3 months where I felt no change switched to stimulants.

They help, but they aren't the 'life-changer' that many people seem to report.

I can get a lot done when I put my mind to it. That's a matter of habit where I just got used to procrastinating everything and giving into the things I like for the dopamine hit. So if I'm not careful on meds, I can REALLY concentrate on the things that I don't need to be doing at all and aren't remotely productive!

So while I'd say it's a mixed bag, I'm generally much happier on them. Plus, the appetite suppressant effect that it has is great for me as I'm obese due to PCOS/ the ADHD in me that gets a dopamine hit from food.

watching OP because I suspect I have ADHD too.

@bjjgirl thank you for replying. May I ask why you don’t like who you are on the meds?

I can feel the wall of grief you mentioned approaching… I can see now how almost every major life event has been delayed or impaired or ruined completely because of my undiagnosed ADHD. It’s a big reason why I have been unable to start a family, despite always really wanting to… and now it’s too late. I don’t even know how to begin processing that 😔

And the day-to-day stuff has just always been so DIFFICULT… interacting with people is stressful, and getting stuff done is such an uphill struggle, it can take so much mental energy to perform the simplest of tasks, and so many things have ended in complete disaster due to my inability to plan, organise, prioritise, remember, communicate and just generally handle things like a grown-up.

I never understood why I found these things so hard, and I always thought I just needed to TRY HARDER… but when I did, I just burned out time and time again.

I’ve always been bright, but I have a (comparatively with my peers) low-pay, low-responsibility job because I just can’t mentally or emotionally handle anything more than that.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of how this thing has directed my entire life…

The worst part is, my family fail to acknowledge that I have this condition. Especially my mother, who is rather emotionally cold and thinks people should just “get on with it”. The lack of understanding and compassion really hurts.

@BodegaSushi thank you for replying. May I ask why you started off on the non-stimulant medication, as opposed to the usual stimulants? Have you tried a lot of different types/dosages to get to where you are now?

I’m hoping to achieve weight loss too. I’ve always struggled to maintain a healthy weight due to the constant need for that dopamine hit. I’ve had periods of time - sometimes months at a time - where I’ve managed to eat healthily and do regular exercise… but it doesn’t take much to knock me completely off track, and it’s SO hard to find the motivation to get started again.

I’m hoping the meds will improve my motivation.

Even if the meds make my life just 30% easier than it is now, it will be worth it. The worst part is the chaotic thoughts, my mind is NEVER at rest.

Do you have the over-emotional/ rejection-sensitive aspect? I’m hoping the meds might help me with that too. I’ve heard they can for some people (about half).

I'm in a similar position @Pegs11 except I'm 53. I was diagnosed a few months ago and I think I'm currently wading through the wall of grief. It's overwhelming and upsetting.

I actually started Prozac 6 weeks ago and that has really helped my mood (within 48 hours!). I'm also waiting to start titration but they're refusing to start me on ADHD meds until the Prozac settles down. I'm arguing about this but it's easy for them to ignore me when all contact is remote. I will be kicking off in a very big way if my ADHD practitioner continues to ignore/patronise me.

So the meds
Are me really robotic and emotionless - amazing for my work but crap as a mum and partner - so I take them when I work and then not when o am off or doing things in the evening

Also you can't drink on them without being paralytic quickly in my experience, so I don't have them if I go out

Plus they make me really quiet

Plus I am nearly a year in and I am
Still awaiting a medication review

I was diagnosed a year ago (aged 41) and started on Elvanse. I already knew I was Autistic but this seems to be the last piece of the puzzle for me. It’s helpful to know I’m neurodivergent. I’m much kinder to myself now. I am more self-aware and I now ask for help more readily than I used to (still not easy at times).
The meds have been good for me. I feel more focused on them. I am less likely to lose things. It eases my mental load somewhat. I used to find I was so tired I’d spend my days off just stuck to the sofa binge watching TV. Now I can do stuff! It did suppress my appetite to start. That’s come back to some extent but I’m better than I was.
I’m glad I know and I’m glad I had meds. There’s some adjustment in thinking to forgive the past times when I haven’t known and just thought I was rubbish at life!

@HundredMilesAnHour I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through with the grieving. Have you had any therapy to help you come to terms with things? I can definitely see myself needing therapy in the coming weeks!

I’ve tried all sorts of antidepressants over the years, but nothing has ever worked very well for my particular mood issues and certainly they have done nothing to help improve my executive functioning skills. I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago but that never felt “right” to me. I now think it was the wrong diagnosis, or at least not the full picture. My symptoms feel way more like ADHD than bipolar.

I’m glad the Prozac is helping you, though. Different strokes for different folks! I hope you get to test-drive the ADHD meds soon, and that they make you feel even better.

@bjjgirl could it be that you’re on too high a dose? Have you tried with different drugs/doses?

@ThisWormHasTurned I’m glad to hear you have found the diagnosis helpful. I can relate to the feeling of being tired all the time… I get fatigued a LOT, often for weeks or months at a time, and can barely do anything… and I’m sure it’s due at least in part to how bloody exhausting it is to have this constant “noise” in my brain that I can never switch off, and how much mental energy it takes just to cope with everyday tasks.

There are a few activities I tend to hyperfocus on at times, which I will do this at the expense of everything else (eating, sleeping etc) … and yet I can’t change my Brita water filter, which takes one minute and involves about four steps. Sometimes it takes me literally months! Even the thought of it makes me feel distressed and knackered!

@Pegs11 I'm having weekly therapy at present but it's very much focussed on my anxiety and getting back to work as quickly as possible. So nothing related to my ADHD. I actually have long Covid (for the past 2 years - I caught Covid in the office from a client grr) and my psychiatrist says it was work stress that has triggered a long Covid relapse and that's what's triggered severe anxiety and severe depression (hence the Prozac). I have a 'big' job in Financial Services but my long Covid means it's hanging by a thread (I've had serious cognitive issues as well as chronic fatigue) and I've had a serious of failed phased returns. Add to that, peri-menopause (I'm now on HRT which helps hugely) and now the ADHD diagnosis, it's no surprise that I'm a mess. I also have various physical issues caused by Covid so it's just one long shitshow.

Your comment about Brita water filters really resonates. My spare ones sit under the sink for months, maybe years, before they ever make it into my filter jug 😂

@HundredMilesAnHour jeez… that all sounds absolutely horrendous and such a lot to be trying to navigate. When you have so much going on it can be hard to tell exactly what’s responsible for what. Certainly peri-menopause is nothing to be sniffed at, it’s been underestimated for so long but the symptoms can be really life-altering (and from what I’ve read, it can interact with ADHD too, and the medication, so be sure to mention it to your doc if you haven’t already!)

I truly hope you can get the help and support you need to get back on track with things.

Yep, diagnosed at 42. It was a bloody revelation! Hurrah, I'm neither lazy nor useless. Got meds but got kicked off them because I couldn't manage to report the monitoring (I know, I know)

I found the meds only semi-useful because they helped but didn't cure. And then I got sad, because although I've done alright in life with a little bit of help or understanding I could have done something amazing.

However, this has passed and I'm now much better at motivating myself and recognising it's an adhd thing. I can process masses of stuff really quickly and in the right place I can be incredibly effective. But I shouldnt expect that everyday. I'm better with boring stuff because I do something first I'm interested in and then when I'm in flow I conquer the other stuff.

I’ve always thought as ADHD meaning hyperactive, impulsive, disorganised,

Hi,
I was diagnosed 40+, and I'm on meds. I did have the revelation then I dipped mental health wise. I am in therapy (with a neurodivergent therapist - highly recommend) and I'm much happier.
I suffered badly with RSD before I found out it was a thing, and I'm on low dose sertraline which seems to help with anxiety and the RSD.
It's been a couple of years but I'm happier, more confident, kinder to myself and have gone back to uni, where the meds are helping me achieve my full potential.
If you EVER want to chat, I'd be happy to!

Posted too soon! But I’m hearing so much more now about other traits. I have often wondered about a family member. Would you say these behaviours fit?

Overthinking/anxiety
Need for control
Likes routine
Health anxiety
Emotional, struggles with criticism
Pessimistic outlook
Lots of empathy and emotional intelligence but lacks resilience
Sensitive to smell, noise.
Easily irritated. Often feels “pressure” from thoughts in head. Feels stressed but acknowledges has no real stress in life.
Easily distracted, can focus, highly capable and has high level job but often struggles to finish tasks.
Some ocd type behaviours - checking door locks etc

I started the NS due to finding that I had high blood pressure. Stimulants can increase it, so doctors will (should) not prescribe while it's high. The doctor wouldn't even start the NS until I was medicated for the BP and it was stabilised (that took 2 months).

With meds you start in small doses then increase to the maximum based on your height/weight.

With the NS, I noticed the drop in appetite immediately and it was drastic, but began wearing off after a couple of weeks (normal with NS as it's never permanent) then within about 6 weeks I was back to my normal OTT appetite. The only reason why I stayed on the NS despite not feeling any different is because they can take up to 12 weeks for the effects to be felt.

After 12 weeks with no reported improvement, I was then moved to methylphenidate, an Instant Release version. Reason for this was the doctor said if it spiked my BP it would be out of my system quickly, and I monitored it closely in the beginning. So it has its pros and cons. It works quite quickly, but also leaves quickly, and you can feel like you're 'crashing' when you're coming off it after a few hours. But I've now figured out a balance with times I take them. I also opted to only take them twice a day instead of the recommended 3 times, as I found I didn't get much use out of it in the early mornings.

I had another option before settling on a dose to try a slow release, which some people report good results on. That would have meant just one a day. But I decided to stick with what I was on as it had been 7 months of private care and I wasn't guaranteed for another type of medication to be any different, what I had was good enough.

Even if the meds make my life just 30% easier than it is now, it will be worth it. The worst part is the chaotic thoughts, my mind is NEVER at rest.

I think you will feel an improvement. I can't swear on the thoughts, in fact when I first take the medication for the day I can actually feel quite hyper for about an hour. Not all the time, it depends on what you take with it etc, and TBH I don't plan too deeply I just take it when I take it.

I never experience quiet in my head, but when I'm focused I'm focused. And I do get a hell of a lot more done than before.

Recently diagnosed at 33. I'm waiting to start medication and really hope I can find something that works well for me.

Don't let it stress you out. It's responsible of the doctors to let your other medication settle first. That way you can properly asses what effects the ADHD meds have on you, and distinguish it from the effects of the Prozac.

It sounds so positive already with the Prozac, you've gotten your diagnosis, that's the biggest hurdle! You will get there

What medication/dose are you on if you don't mind me asking? Have you tried a lower dose? My meds don't affect me in that way at all, that's quite surprising to hear

Unfortunately this is an issue as my Occ Health dept won't let me go back to work until I've started ADHD meds and they're not making me worse/ill with side effects but if I don't go back to work within 2 weeks, I won't get paid. And I'm alone and the only source of income. I need to be earning money! So I need to start the damn meds asap.

I am Waiting for my appt to discuss the meds and try others (been nearly a year!)

I am on xaggitin - the dose is fine they just change me as make the rsd / anxiety go which changes who I am and therefore make me colder and more focussed

If I were single / childless I would be on them as they give me a break from the noise but I am
In a family