Anyone here got adult ADHD?

[Pegs11]

At age 43 I have just been diagnosed with ADHD (combined type), which I’ve had since a child but it has gone undiagnosed and untreated until now, because I always masked and internalised it.

I never even really knew what ADHD was, I thought it was just being hyperactive and impulsive. Now I know there is so much more to it… and it explains everything about how I experience life and the world around me.

I haven’t started the meds yet (hopefully next week) but I am keen to see how they might help. I particularly struggle with emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I’ve heard that the meds can help with this sometimes, but not always.

This feels like such a huge revelation… I never was able to understand, or explain to people, why I have always felt like my brain worked differently compared to others. For example, why things that seemed so easy to other people felt overwhelming to me. It is all beginning to make sense now.

I am starting to realise how fundamentally this condition has impacted on my life up until now and I’m pretty horrified.

I could really do with connecting with other people, especially women, who have experienced this… If any of you are out there and are willing to share your experiences and maybe answer some questions for me (I have so many!) please reply!

MyPace seems incredibly cheap. Is it really only £360? We are looking at £1200!

But how much is the medication??

https://www.mypaceuk.com/fees

It is more expensive if you are going for ASD assessment or for a child.

I’m not sure how much titration will cost as I don’t know if or how I’ll respond to medication. They did say at my starting appointment that they have been asked not to prescribe elvanse as there is a UK wide shortage. I have read reports of other places saying the same. So that’s shit for anyone with ADHD in the UK.

I don’t work for MyPace honestly.

I just think £360 is a relatively small price to pay for a diagnosis that might provide some kind of job security. It’s about a third of my monthly salary.

Had I have had that bit of paper before and reasonable adjustments made I could be earning much more. I’ve had to take on less and less responsibility over the years, with less pay.

No doubt my early menopause has exacerbated my ADHD symptoms, but HRT including testosterone have not helped in the way that I had hoped. I was hoping that HRT would fix my memory problems, anxiety, lack of motivation, but I didn’t realise I had an underlying disability. I think they have helped but probably just brought me back to my ADHD normal.

By the way ‘Hi’ to everyone here. I’m not normally such a downer, I’m normally pretty up beat and can see the positives in everything.

Private adult adhd diagnosis is £1500 here

@CestlaADHD
i agree that £360 is a small price to pay for job security (assuming someone has that money to spare, I suppose).
My issue is that the only real difference a diagnosis would make to me at the moment is access to medication, so for me £360 is just the start. I can see from the website the cost of titration appointments and prescription charges, but I need to know how much the actual medicines cost - because if it’s unaffordable long term then there’s no point doing it.

Incidentally, my DC has a private diagnosis, which my gp recognises, but the only way to transfer her care to the NHS is to start the whole process again via them. If that’s true for a child, then it will definitely be the case for an adult so I need to be able to fund medication potentially for years.

My GP said they would be able to do ‘shared care’ so my medication will (hopefully) be a standard prescription charge.

But as you said not every doctors surgery is happy to do this. I think you can press it with your doctors as I think NICE guidelines say doctors should do shared care. But once again another hurdle (which isn’t great for someone with ADHD).

This was the current price list I was given. HTH!

Elvanse is nationally very difficult to get hold of so they aren’t actually prescribing that.

I think Elvanse does more for serotonin than Ritalin does. I’ve been on Sertraline for years (which does help with anxiety), so hopefully I’ve got that but covered already. But again it is shit that I won’t have the option to try Elvanse until supply is sorted out, again possibly costing me money!

My “best” friend is worried about this so I’ve said I’d do battle on her behalf. So much easier to do it for someone else than yourself. She can owe me a favour and chivvy me along with something when I need it. To be fair we used to joke about negotiating for each other because we’re so crap at advocating for ourselves, kind obvious why now with both being diagnosed with ADHD….

Thank @CestlaADHD That list is really helpful.

I'm 33 and over the last few months have been doing quite a bit of reading about ADHD and speaking to others who have been diagnosed and I'm slowly coming to the realisation that I may need to be assessed.

Lots of the comments on here resonate with me. Written off as lazy and a bit useless my whole life. Never reached my potential due to being so chronically disorganised and a complete lack of time management. Im never not running late. Overwhelmed by things so just feel a bit paralysed and give up before even starting. So many things. Distracted by everything. I go to do one thing and I notice something else so go to do that then notice something else so go to do that and round and round it goes until I've not achieved anything.

It's destroying my relationship. I'm not even sure I have a relationship anymore, it's that bad of late. I think he's fed up with me not being normal or failing to just get things and be able to do them the way he does. It's impacting my ability to be a good mum.

These struggles have always been there but they have become more obvious and problematic now I'm supposed to be a responsible adult.

I've just realised I've written all that yet what I came here to ask about was sugar and dopamine hits. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 12 years old and despite this I could not leave sweet stuff alone. To the serious detriment of my health. I have genuinely questioned whether I'm addicted to sugar but if this is a symptom of ADHD then I think I really need to speak to my GP (I've been saying I'll make an appointment for over a week and just failing to actually do it).

If the GP can't/won't help, where do I go next?

Had my initial appointment with my borough's MH services last week and have been officially referred for a proper assessment, they hope around Christmas time 🤞

I was previously put on ad's when I tried to seek help and was told by the MH lady that was utterly irresponsible.

@MissMistyy I can relate. One of the biggest issues of ADHD is a lack of dopamine. Eating sugar gives you an instant dopamine hit. So if you’re not getting dopamine from other sources, you can easily get addicted to sweets. It’s not your fault. We all NEED dopamine.

While you are on your journey to getting proper help for your MH, maybe you could research other ways to increase your dopamine?

Exercise is one way to do it. I always hated exercise but now I’ve found a form of exercise that I actually like, it is helping. I do Pilates at home because I’m not a gym bunny and I hate running and stuff. I do half an hour every day and then I lie there afterwards and meditate a bit and just enjoy how my body feels after the exercise. I get dopamine from that. It feels good to get stronger too, a sense of achievement.

Good luck on your journey. If your GP won’t help, it seems there are some private options that aren’t too expensive (see replies above).

Thank you @Pegs11

I've never found a way to exercise, possibly because I've never found a type I like. I'm never organised or committed enough to attend classes and anything I do at home I don't stick to. I managed yoga for a few weeks and haven't done it in years. Can't even place what happened. I just stopped.

Not ADHD however Autism (you would never know it) is extremely high functioning. I know high functioning isn't a term many like. However, it's the term my Dr used.

So I am 62, diagnosed with Autism with some ADHD overlap, in the words of my Dr.

Quite frankly for me, it answered a lot of the questions I didn't get about me.

I've had a difficult life and a lot of varying therapy. Some things just didn't fit into this. I lm still at the relieved stage.

Long story of how we came to getting the diagnosis. However there you go

@Pegs11 hey, sorry I haven’t read the full thread but currently on a very similar journey and just wondering if you could tell me your main symptoms. I posted a long list of mine last night but didn’t get many replies

@Larabelle6 I have many symptoms, too many to list, but they are basically all to do with executive functioning and emotional dysregulation. Chaotic thoughts are one of the main issues I have, as well as extreme rejection sensitivity, which causes me to frequently shut down. I have difficulty processing information and get quickly overwhelmed, this can cause ‘task paralysis’. Easily distracted. Forgetful. Disorganised/unable to prioritise. Fidgety. Impulsive…. to name a few!

Just read the thread as dd19 has adhd and I'm trying to learn as much as I can about it so thank you.

Pegs - how are the meds going now?

DD tried concerta but it made her feel sick so she's now got Elvanse. Getting her to take it is a different matter tho as she is totally nocturnal as she can't sleep at night due to her 'busy brain'. It's a never ending circle!

Larabelle6

ADHD has a core set of symptoms that include short term memory problems, time blindness, impulsivity, executive function problems, hyperactivity (often internal) and often emotional disregulation.

How it presents in people can be different. For example a lot of people with ADHD are chronically late. However I have ADHD, but I’m never late. I’ve developed ‘time anxiety’ where I’m always early, if I have to be somewhere that I’ve never been before I will be about an hour early as the anxiety and stress I have surrounding being late is so great. I am fairly well organised, but amount of phone reminders and checklists I have just to get me though a working week is quite something.

Women and adults do a lot of masking and overcompensating. For example we can be super organised, risk adverse, worry about what to say, but this is kind of learnt and takes a massive amount of mental effort. I never realised that neurotypical people generally find this stuff easy, and it’s why many people with ADHD just feel exhausted from doing something normal (like a trip to the supermarket).

Don’t get me wrong a lot of ADHD people do live in chaos, but a lot hide it and overcompensate for their disability.

I found it really useful to listen to other people’s experiences with ADHD. ADHDaf (as females, but also ‘as F**k’) podcast on Spotify is great for this and also very funny.

@CestlaADHD thank you so much.

@pearldiamond I’m finding the meds interesting! I’m still titrating, currently on 36mg concerta (slow-release) which I take at 9am, then a 5mg top-up dose of the fast-release version at about 4pm.

The meds are definitely helping in some important ways. I have been feeling more “grounded” and less anxious, and am able to relax a bit more. I’m also able to think more clearly. I’m more motivated, and finding it a bit easier to focus. I am also sleeping better, on the whole. My partner says I’m more “present”.

I’m not sure that the medication is really helping with remembering stuff or being organised! And I still get ‘reactive’ anxiety attacks because of my rejection sensitivity, even though my base level of anxiety has improved overall. But the rejection sensitivity is probably something to explore in therapy; the medication can’t do everything. I’ve just started seeing an ADHD-specialised therapist, so hopefully that will bear fruit.

It’s great that you’re familiarising yourself with the condition for your daughter. As @CestlaADHD says, people’s symptoms can vary. I wish you both the best in managing the condition. It’s good that she has been diagnosed relatively young, that counts for a lot. I’ve just been diagnosed at age 43 and sorely wish I’d known much sooner that I had ADHD.

Pegs11 where are you going for your specialised ADHD therapy. I think I could do with a bit of that!

@CestlaADHD I went on the Psychology Today website. You can search for counsellors and psychotherapists by speciality.

Note that the kind of help you can get from a counsellor will usually be different from what you get with a psychotherapist.

Thanks Pegs. She took 30mg Elvanse this morning as she was up! 🎉
She just said she has felt more sane lol. My main worry was that it would cause her to have anxiety. Last month she started both Elvanse and venlafaxine at the same time and experienced crippling anxiety which she has never had. We didn't know which drug had caused this. So after 3 ish weeks not taking anything, I am pleased it wasn't the Elvanse as I truly believe adhd meds are the only thing that will help her atm.

Can I also ask, do you experience emotions dysregulation? One of dd's main problems is total over reaction to small things. She just cannot handle stress at all and instead has a major meltdown.

I am so hoping the meds help with this 🤞