Recovering from breakdown

[EmmaEmerald]

Does anyone have any experience of this?
I thought I'd had a nervous breakdown in my 20s but carried on working. This time I'm knocked out. I got up at 8 and need a nap already!

I typed a whole reply to this and MN ate it

Do you mean that feeling of "am I out of the woods or is another low coming to get me"? If so, I know what you mean and you can see from my posts here that I have been very up and down.

I nearly burst into tears again yesterday but I managed to not do that, sat down and watched Friends and realised that's a good strategy for the odd pothole. I think we're all on the right path but there will be dips.

@TheBuggerlugs but I've been on the fluoxetine since February and I've reduced the quetiapine down myself because it was just to sedating. I have got a meds review on Friday but I've been feeling better since I reduced the quetiapine

@Ilovedogs1 I completely recognise what you say. I've definitely felt that 'fear' when I've had improvements in previous episodes. I think it's just because I've I've got used to feeling so awful and it feels a bit 'odd.'
So glad that you are seeing some chinks of light.
I have seen the panorama. It's interesting but it definitely focuses on the negatives of ADs.
I've wondered the same as you at times - does the medication do anything or is it just time passing. I think I'm probably slightly conflicted on the answer.

I had appointment with psychiatrist this morning. I am meant to be switching but because I have a lot going on with my family and I am basically functioning - they have agreed for me to stay in this one for time being. In an ideal world I would change because I am still having so many difficult days but I need to balance it with keeping everything going.
(This medication has worked for me before but doesn't appear to have done this time. Unfortunately I'm such a lightweight with medication - I end up in a terrible state either coming off or going on to any of the medications )

Please may I join?

I feel like a train wreck about to happen 😔 I wouldn't have been able to even tell you a name of an AD 4 years ago. Now I feel like an entirely different person. Built up to a crescendo in the last 3 years. I've tried most Ads aside from one that I'm not allowed to try because of thyroid incompatibility. Mirtizapine a no go because I had an Ed which I am just about keeping on top of. Weight gain would be horrific for me.

I was always a bit of a worrier but then we made our most recent house move (incredibly stressful), with animals, children including a disabled child that I am carer for. Everything has become a perfect storm since then.

My DM is the ONLY person that helps us in any way and she is getting older now with her own health issues and she doesn't live near.

I am probably peri and the last few years I seem to have developed a stomach that can't tolerate most food. The pain I get from anything high/mid fodmap is miserable.

My marriage has gone to shit. Communication completely gone down the pan. Resentment gone through the roof.

My poor teens are at a crucial time in their lives and their mother has gone from superwoman to a complete wreck. All recent bloods are fine and "normal".

I have completely had enough. I don't want to wake up in the morning anymore (sleep I can do, to excess!) but I feel sad when I wake up, that I've woken up.

Nothing inspires me anymore and the future holds nothing 😔 sorry, I needed to offload as I just can't in real life. Even going for a simple walk is nigh in impossible because of my DD.

@Beeanenome welcome to our group. So sorry your feeling so bad atm. For me I find any change even positive change sets my anxiety off. A house move is huge.

Hi Bee Hugs if you want them.

I moved in April and tbh, things have been such a mess in my life since mum had a stroke in November, I didn't realise how stressful it was. So I think that was a factor in my breakdown. I sort of went through the move chaotically and accidentally removed a bunch of stuff that helped my mental health.

So I can see a move being a flashpoint. I can't offer advice on the family situation but hopefully others can.

Re meds, have you tried anything like St Johns Wort, extra vitamins? I quite like St Johns Wort.

Thank you for your replies @Ilovedogs1 and @EmmaEmerald . I appreciate it, it's SOO hard trying to put a brave face on for my DC. Pretending to be fine when I'm really really not. DH extent of communication being "in a grump again then?". Really helpful.

We've moved before but this last one was hell. Moved from nice to not nice and been trying to make it better. It's been such a slog. I've just lost interest in everything I used to love. It all feels so pointless when things can only get worse.. Losing DM, disabled child getting harder to look after so our (my) freedom restricted even more. Getting old ourselves.

I haven't tried St John's Wort no, maybe I should. I have a diazepam stock because of an old back injury but I only ever take one when I have anxiety overwhelm.

It's so good to have someone to talk to thank you. I hope you're both okay today x

Oh and I'll gladly take the hugs, thank you @EmmaEmerald x

I had a productive day but had a nap at 5. Now I’m tired again. Side effects maybe?

Feeling bad today. Intrusive thoughts ramping up and feeling a bit more anxious. Reducing the quetiapine is on my mind but I literally couldn't stay awake on it. Still feel better in myself. Haven't slept very well this week but that could be the heat. Feeling scared about falling in the black hole again.

Hi all

Sorry to hear of the troubles.

I have had a day of facing up to the things I couldn't deal with the last couple of months, potentially some mistakes/stuff I couldn't cope with, that has ended up costing me money.

I have cried twice, briefly, but I have persisted in doing what needs to be done.

I am very angry at myself but in a way that's a good thing, as I now realise I'm in "actively deal with the problem" mode rather than "I can't cope" mode.

There's also small wins in terms of getting into a routine and actively wanting to do things.

I will probably be around a lot less now as I want to get back into reading and now feel quite positive about hobbies. I have scheduled two social things for next week as well.

I took my last zopiclone last night - I was given a few pills at 3.75mg and it didn't work anyway but I've been all right.

I have found my SAD lamp and will be using it already as I feel the nights drawing in. I really think exercise is going to be massively important for me.

Sorry there have been a few shaky days. (For anyone struggling with sleep - I do think the heat will have been making that worse.)

I'm annoyed with myself today. Stupidly forgot to take my dose last night. I'm normally good at remembering. Just concerned that I might have disrupted the build up in system. Anyway have taken tonight's dose.

kizziee hope you had a better night.

how is everyone? I'm improving but about to nap!

I was just thinking of starting my own thread asking how to come back from a breakdown. I’m recovering from a physical and mental breakdown that nearly killed me - when I burn out I collapse with a physical illness and this time it was nearly the end. It’s about the third in my life and this time I have to make sure I don’t go back to my old way of living. I have two small DCs so have to be here for them. I haven’t RTFT but will do later. Hugs and 💐 OP and everyone else on this thread.

Ha, those words is like looking in a mirror.
Mornings are tricky for me too. Saw GP yesterday and she said it still really days (day 10 on these new meds).
But, I have made it out every day this week, kids are back to school, slowly getting there.
Work guilt is killing me, I know they’re really struggling but I just can’t think about that yet…

Can I join in too? Have been following this thread for a while. I had a breakdown a few months ago due to having a senior position in a highly-stressful industry and just couldn't cope with the stress anymore. I've been off work for 3 months, am having talking therapy, taking setraline but everything still feels hopeless. I feel so guilty about the impact on my colleagues and my lovely family. Will it ever get better and back to normal?

TheBuggerLugs does medication go in the bin if you hand it back, or is it labelled for you and they might give it back?

Welcome to newbies, sorry for everything you are going through.

I'm not an expert but for decades of treatment, I've been told anxiety is worse in the morning because of the way our adrenaline and cortisol works? Morning anxiety has, pre-medication, been so bad I've had to use Imodium as soon as I've woken up, usually two if I'm commuting.

I am doing better, in many ways.

I did some reading and sketching today, as well as some much needed organising.

One key thing is I must spend less time online! So you will see me around a lot less.

Thank you for all the support on this thread. My breakdown was on the 22nd or 23rd July maybe and I'm sad that people have had to join me, but I want to say I really think there's hope, and I'm not an optimist, I'm a realist.

There's lots of great meds and therapies out there and this board is great.

I sometimes don't comment because as a single childfree person, I can't offer anything helpful for some problems. In fact, today has been another key day in realising that brief "relationship" I had was a mistake, I am not designed to be in a relationship and he is a very lovely person who got hurt due to my poor judgement. i hope in time he can see it as a lovely summer romance, he's half my age after all!

It has also made me realise that when life gets busy again, I need to set aside time to really think about what I'm doing, every single day. My parents were/are creatures of habit and routine. They were fine if that routine was broken because they had it to fall back on so I am trying to emulate that. I am not religious but my father used to spend the first 30 mins of the day in prayer and I think that really showed in how well he handled his career.

I'm starting meditation classes next week. I'm working out every other day again. I'm even hoping to make some Christmas decorations by learning some crafting skills! I am usually Scrooge!

So - definitely reducing online time, MN and Twitter being bad habits for me.

Hugs all round, thank you and loads of love to all.

Can I join please?

I think I am having a breakdown now, not sure when it started - I went from feeling quite low, trying a few AD's which didn't work/had terrible side effects. Then I was sexually harassed at work (roughly 1 year and a half ago) and it all came crashing. I've had dark thoughts ever since, they come and go but now involve some concrete-ish plans. I've had covid the last couple of weeks and it's really triggered things. Feel so low, very lonely (like the loneliness will kill me)

I'm not on any ADs at present, have propranolol for emergencies but I'm too scared of side effects to take it

I was refused diazepam and very stupidly bought some online. I will not take them because I can't be sure they're the real thing.

I'm off work sick with covid and on leave next week, I'm seriously considering getting a sick note and taking some time to try another AD.

There have been a couple of times I've almost gone to A&E but managed to push through and stay at home. I can't afford counselling at the moment and I have no faith in getting any NHS help. I'm very much at a loss

@TheBuggerlugs I hope you are feeling a bit calmer today. I don't think it's surprising that you have been feeling shaky when you have so much on your plate at the moment. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself

@EmmaEmerald glad you are having some better time. That sounds really sensible about the online time.

@NamechangeForthisquestion1 I'm really sorry you've been through such a horrible time. Have you thought of contacting one of the relevant charities. They might be able to help with low cost / free counselling (the below is from NHS website) :

&bull;	as <a class="break-all" href="https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rape Crisis</a>s<span class="underline">, <a class="break-all" href="https://www.womensaid.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Women&#039;s Aid</a>d</span>, <a class="break-all" href="https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Victim Support</a>t<span class="underline">, <a class="break-all" href="https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Survivors Trust</a>t</span> or <a class="break-all" href="https://malesurvivor.co.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Male Survivors Partnership</a>p_
&bull;	the 24-hour <a class="break-all" href="http://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge</a>e<span class="underline">, on <a class="break-all" href="//tel:0808%202000%20247" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">0808 2000 247</a>7</span>
&bull;	the <a class="break-all" href="https://247sexualabusesupport.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">rape and sexual abuse support line run by Rape Crisis England and Wales</a>s<span class="underline"> &ndash; you can call the helpline on <a class="break-all" href="//tel:0808%20500%202222" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">0808 500 2222</a>2</span> or use the online chat (both are free and are open 24 hours a day, every day of the year)