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Recovering from breakdown

337 replies

EmmaEmerald · 18/08/2023 11:51

Does anyone have any experience of this?
I thought I'd had a nervous breakdown in my 20s but carried on working. This time I'm knocked out. I got up at 8 and need a nap already!

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Ilovedogs1 · 19/08/2023 11:35

@TheBuggerlugs yes I've been on medication for years. I'm under the MH team but to be honest I don't find them that helpful.

MissMarplesNiece · 19/08/2023 11:52

When I had a breakdown I was off work for 6 months. My GP referred me to the crisis team because I had detailed suicide plans. This was all about 4 years ago. Since then I've had regular appointments with a psychiatrist & am currently having Compassion Focused therapy. I can't say I've really recovered, I don't sleep well and spend everyday feeling exhausted. I sleep more than I'm awake. I've stopped taking my AD and anti-anxiety meds, but I'm not sure that's really been a good decision. I've been suffering with horrible bouts of a gastro type illness but hospital found no signs of any infection. My psychologist thinks it's cause/origin is psychological - she referred me to a book called "The body keeps the score".

EmmaEmerald · 19/08/2023 16:22

Buggerlug ah, I see. Now I think about it, that’s why I was referred to the crisis team the first time. Interestingly the GP didn’t ask if I felt that this time but he was gauging correctly that I’m not at risk in that way.

MissMarplesNiece Your brain and gut are linked. One reason I stay on them is I get stomach trouble if I don’t. It might be an idea to start again? When I am cold turkey on my gap now, I’m expecting stomach issues.

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StBrides · 19/08/2023 16:28

Ilovedogs1 · 19/08/2023 10:05

Sorry to hijack the post but @StBrides how did you manage to keep pushing forward for that length of time?
My breakdown started in February, I was off work for 7 months couldn't really leave the house for 3 of those. Just started back to work a few weeks ago but every day I wake up feeling huge anxiety and pretty much feel anxious all day . People keep saying I've been really ill and it will take a long time to be better but when you feel bad day after day it's hard to keep the hope. X

I've taken some time today to think about this because no one's asked me this before.

I suppose what it really comes down to is what other choice was there? Once you've made the decision not to die, there's really only one way to go, which is onwards.

For a long time, I just existed.

You don't need to hang on by much, you just need to hang on. I took all the help that was offered to me, including therapy when I didn't feel it helped. (The therapists soon worked that out for themselves).

It's also worth remembering that recovery isn't linear. It was very much a case of one step forward, two back and for several months I focused on just getting through the next hour, then the one after that.

There were multiple traumatic factors in my 'breakdown' and with hindsight I think it was a long time coming. When I realised how ill I was, I certainly didn't think it would take so long to get better and I try not to think about the time I've lost to it because that's a way to spiral down again.

I have been incredibly lucky that I had savings to fall back on (gone now) family who've been brilliant at supporting me. My gp was brilliant and although friendships have been affected, the true friends stayed steadfast.

When I was able to start some gentle exercise again, it made a difference because the gains I saw physically inspired me - so much of life had become stagnant or was lost, it helped me through the process of picking things up again. I spend as much time outdoors as I can, nature sooths anxiety and the daylight still does me good.

Influencers and the like, like to bang on about what they've learned and how much stronger they are. Great for them but I don't think real life is like for a lot of people. It's not an experience I ever want to repeat so I've focused on building the foundations for good physical and mental health going forward rather than seek out great philosophical lessons.

Without my savings, I would have had to go back to work much earlier (universal credit certainly hasn't been enough to live on, which has been humbling in itself) and I don't know if my recovery would have been the same.

The time and space I've had not to rush it has meant, I think, that I was finally able to do some healing from past traumatic experiences and they don't seem to affect me now in the same way. I'm hugely grateful for that.

I am definitely grieving for the time I've lost and trying not to think about the fact that I may not be able to make up for it in my life. But I don't know what the future holds - I can't control the future. All I can do is create the best life I can, with the cards I have left.

If I'm lucky, the result will be a future which is happy and content.

Finally, I know that when depressed the brain plays cruel tricks. It tells you the despair and bleakness is all there is, that it will never be better. You hang on for long enough and keep your eyes looking forward and you'll discover that's not true.

Living is a cycle, the bad times never last and hopefully with the healing I've done, I'll never be so low ever again. Live small, @Ilovedogs1 and when you're ready, your life will expand again.

TheBuggerlugs · 19/08/2023 16:49

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Ilovedogs1 · 19/08/2023 18:05

@StBrides thank you so much for your very thoughtful reply. X

EmmaEmerald · 20/08/2023 00:04

StBrides “Influencers and the like, like to bang on about what they've learned and how much stronger they are. Great for them but I don't think real life is like for a lot of people”

I find people say that a lot in real life. I sometimes wonder if people find it hard to say “this was just really shit”.

I feel I get weaker with the more crap I go through.

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MissMarplesNiece · 20/08/2023 09:22

I feel I get weaker with the more crap I go through Yes to this. It's not my experience that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I think it's like being hollowed out a spoonful at a time so that over time I am becoming a shell of myself. I haven't yet found out how to put spoonfuls back in.

kizziee · 20/08/2023 12:33

I have also had my worst 'episode' this year. Had 3 months off work. Have returned part time but still don't feel confident about recovery.
I may need to switch medication which I find terrifying because I respond so badly to any changes.

EmmaEmerald · 20/08/2023 15:13

It’s so hard isn’t it? I’ve got my sister here. It might be my head but I have a sense that she’s disappointed in me. But if I hadn’t invested so much of myself into looking after mum, I guess I wouldn’t be in this position. She’s always had major boundaries so I guess wonders why I didn’t. So do I now.

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Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 16:25

Hi. I have never posted anything on mumsnet before but think that I have been having a breakdown over the last couple of weeks, coming to a head last night when my hubby said he couldn’t cope with me any more and wanted to call an ambulance. Started setraline on Friday and desperately hoping to ride this out.

EmmaEmerald · 20/08/2023 18:01

Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 16:25

Hi. I have never posted anything on mumsnet before but think that I have been having a breakdown over the last couple of weeks, coming to a head last night when my hubby said he couldn’t cope with me any more and wanted to call an ambulance. Started setraline on Friday and desperately hoping to ride this out.

Handhold
I had a moment when I nearly wanted to ring 111 and see if anyone could give me a sedative injection

what's your situation atm, how are you feeling?

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Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 18:42

Thanks for replying. That’s how I felt last night. At 3.40 in the morning I woke up my husband begging him to help me after not sleeping at all until that point. I haven’t slept barely more than 2 hours a night for the last 2 weeks. I made him come in the garden with me and honestly thought I would have to be sectioned.
Feeling slightly better today thank you.

TheBuggerlugs · 20/08/2023 18:45

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EmmaEmerald · 20/08/2023 18:58

Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 18:42

Thanks for replying. That’s how I felt last night. At 3.40 in the morning I woke up my husband begging him to help me after not sleeping at all until that point. I haven’t slept barely more than 2 hours a night for the last 2 weeks. I made him come in the garden with me and honestly thought I would have to be sectioned.
Feeling slightly better today thank you.

Have you been given anything to help you sleep?

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Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 18:59

No. I asked the dr I saw Friday if she could give something as nothing I have bought has worked and she said they don’t prescribe them anymore because people get addicted.

Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 19:02

Thank you for being so kind. I will remember that. X

EmmaEmerald · 20/08/2023 19:35

Jen91983 · 20/08/2023 18:59

No. I asked the dr I saw Friday if she could give something as nothing I have bought has worked and she said they don’t prescribe them anymore because people get addicted.

Are there are other doctors in the practice? There's one in my practice like that. Doesn't like giving antibiotics either.

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MissMarplesNiece · 20/08/2023 20:39

@Jen91983 your local crisis team might help you more than your GP if you can get in touch with them. In my case it was my GP who put me in touch with them, but in my area & probably in most others you can refer yourself. I don't know what happens if you call 111 when you are in extreme mental distress, but it might be worth trying.

JamieJ93 · 20/08/2023 20:52

Hi. I'd like to offer some support.
I am not currently a mum but me and DH are having a discussion about TTC. We've had several losses.
I'd like to share my story with you or anyone that needs support.
In January of this year, I hit rock bottom and tried to take my own life and was very very close to being successful. I was immediately put into an induced coma, I contracted around 17 infections which eventually my body couldnt handle it so I got sepsis and nearly lost my left leg. My kidneys went into end stage failure, liver failed and lungs packed up. THANKFULLY I woke up 8 weeks later, but had to learn to walk, swallow, talk etc. It has been very hard and I didn't imagine what consequences I'd have by waking up. I realised that I have to give as much support to people as I can by sharing my story as speaking and having that support can change someone's future actions.
In terms of work, do NOT put too much pressure on yourself, I've not worked now for 2 years due to long standing mental health issues.

EmmaEmerald · 22/08/2023 10:27

How's everyone feeling?

I tried posting about the new meds I'm trying but no luck. I was asleep most of yesterday - after dealing with a bunch of mum stuff which wore me out. I managed not try. I find crying to be toxic, tiring and unhelpful.

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MissMarplesNiece · 22/08/2023 10:46

I feel like I would like a good cry, a good long sob. But I just can't- a few eye stinging tears and that's it.

Weatherwax13 · 23/08/2023 02:42

@JamieJ93 just wanted to say what a brave post that was and wish you all the very best. I've had a similar experience but absolutely nowhere near the catastrophic consequences you suffered.
@EmmaEmerald I often find I simply can't cry. On the rare occasions I do, I feel exactly as you've described. It's quite nice to hear someone say the same thing, as people always tell you "let it out, you'll feel better " but it doesn't work that way for me either.
@Jen91983 wishing you strength. I'm in much the same state atm and I truly sympathise.

EmmaEmerald · 23/08/2023 11:33

MissMarple if it's any consolation, I genuinely don't think you are missing out. One of the reasons I went on meds was to stop the awful crying jags.

I had a nice longish walk yesterday but was really tired after. It's annoying!

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TheBuggerlugs · 23/08/2023 15:30

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