I think I’m having a breakdown

[ShellieL]

That’s it.
life is becoming unbearable.
I have great job. I was happily married until yesterday. It all came tumbling down.
I know I’ve lost it all now.
its 2am and I don’t know what to do.

You’ve decided you cannot live like this anymore and although it’s sad, having a plan to improve your life will help you.

Get some antidepressants from the GP and in the meantime buy some sleeping tablets case lack of sleep can have such a massive impact on your MH.

I would go into work tomorrow because this gives you a break from your home life and keeps your job open.
If you are at home all day every day then you’ll have nothing else to think about, but going into work will make you think of other things.

Once you’ve had a couple of good nights sleep and got your antidepressants then I’d look into moving out and making yourself happy.

You do not need to completely end things with your DH right away, you can just have some space and then decide how to move forward in the future.

You cannot stay in this environment if even her texting him triggers you and so you need to remove yourself.

@ShellieL I couldn’t read this and run. Just wanted to send you some love. Please don’t make this all about you, you sound lovely and like you have been pushed to the brink. Look after yourself, exercise, eat well, rest, it will put you in a better place to cope. Do look into menopause support, it can harm some women hugely, so get the help you need. Much love to you, I hope you start to feel better ❤️

Hope you can get some rest and some good support from your GP.This is day one 💐

Are you able to ask the GP to sign you off work for a few days; if only just to catch up on some much needed sleep and to be able to put the start of a plan in place for your future self, whether that's on your own or with your partner? Please chat to the GP about peri menopause symptoms - they can be utter hell to live with (not excusing anyone else's awful behaviour towards you with that comment btw ).
I hope you get the help you need OP.🌷

So relived to hear that your bloods are ok and that you are going to see the GP. You are strong and have been very brave. I really hope you keep talking here and we can help you towards a better place.

Sending you love and checking in after the early hours this morning. So glad you woke him x

Just wanted to say, don’t feel ashamed, I’ve had similar feelings to those you were having last night and many other people will have had too. I hope the help and support continues and you get yourself well.

Hello there, @ShellieL. We're so sorry to hear that you've been having such a terrible time and we hope you're feeling much better today?

Just to let you know that we've withdrawn one of your posts as we don't allow descriptions of self-harm or suicide methods on our talk boards. We can see that you've been getting lots of support here from other MNers, which is great, and that you've also reached out for help in real life too which is the absolute best thing to do in this sort of situation.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. Hopefully that will be useful but please do let us know if we can do anything else to help.

With best wishes from all of us at MNHQ.

Hope you are feeling a little better today @ShellieL

Just had the most wonderful call with my GP. He’s prescribed mirtrazapine, specially to help me sleep. He said that I’d been coping with too much.
I have to call him back in 2 weeks.
He’s also given me the number for talking therapies and I have an appt with them in 3 weeks.
I am not doing anything else today or tackling the bigger issues.
That can all wait until we’ve all calmed down and I’ve had the chance to reflect.
You lot are literally lifesavers. I told the doctor in the hospital that talking here helped me to take action.

Glad you have had some good support today lovely. When you feel up to it think about some HRT as I found it really helpful with sleep and my mood.

Oh that's good news! I'm glad that you spoke up Shellie - you needed help and you got it. Now you will not have to manage this alone, take care and very best wishes for a lovely, peaceful, drama free future xx

Myself and my closest friends have all found ourselves in very dark places, before we managed to get sorted out with HRT.

If you’re struggling to cope, and this is a new thing that coincides with menopause, or perimenopause, I would definitely consider it.

I’m so glad to read your update, Shellie.

Aw Shellie I’m so happy to read your update. If it is menopause then in my experience you can be fine and then the next moment set your world on fire. It was a horrible experience for me and HRT made things so much better. I had no tolerance for any issues and lost it on a few occasions with my DH. I had good reason to at time but I was ferocious with my words - unlike me.

I appreciate your SD being so disrespectful is infuriating and intolerable and needs to be dealt with whichever way you see fit when you’ve had a some sleep and time to think about your options. However, I’m sure the world is a better place with you in it and am glad your GP was understanding and helpful.

Well done for seeking help, that's such a difficult step to take. Be kind to yourself, take time out and concentrate on looking after yourself for now, everything else can wait.

Hi there, Shellie.

I'm so glad to see that you got through the night and that your GP has been helpful.

Hopefully your GP can sign you off work for a fortnight. I suffered from a lot of anxiety about dying family members over the last few years and my GP was great. They wrote 'family problems' on the sick note (or similar) i.e. didn't feel a need to go into detail that I didn't want to share with my employer. Hopefully yours can do something similar, because after a traumatic experience like this you do need time to think things through and recover from the stress.

I hope that your husband will be helpful - you have nothing to apologise to him for, and he has nothing to forgive.

Along with everyone else here I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best. Please keep talking xx

So glad to hear the GP was helpful and things seem a bit more hopeful. We are all rooting for you.

@ShellieL
You've been so amazingly strong- and the support of other MNers throughout the night is incredible
Things WILL get better for you, just taking one day at a time
Please keep talking

@ShellieL that's a brilliant update! I'm so pleased things are looking brighter. Please keep talking and updating us. Stay strong.

Been thinking about you today Shellie.
Glad we stayed awake!
Take it easy for now. And please update us.
xxx

Yes @Cakeandcoffee93 I hoped we helped in some small way by staying awake and keeping the talk going.

The first step is always the hardest. So pleased you've got some help. And I'm proud of you for that. Xx

I was reading your thread last night and glad you have had support, sounds like you are feeling a bit better. I'm nearly the same age and feel at times things seem a bit overwhelming, definitely has got worse over the last couple of years and covid hasn't helped.
Hope things improve for you whatever you decide to do.

Sorry I meant I read your thread this morning.