I think I’m having a breakdown

[ShellieL]

That’s it.
life is becoming unbearable.
I have great job. I was happily married until yesterday. It all came tumbling down.
I know I’ve lost it all now.
its 2am and I don’t know what to do.

Thank you so much.
I know that I have to get proper help as soon as the world opens up.

What kind of pills did you take?

You need to call 999, as well meaning as anyone may be on here, you are in crisis and none of us can help you.
It doesn't feel like it right now, but I promise, nothing life throws you is insurmountable and there is always, always, hope.

Wake your husband up. Tell him. Call 999.

Can you drink salt water to make you sick?
Please get help.

This too shall pass, but you need to tell people now.

Yes. I do.
but if I do that, then it’s all rather final isn’t it?
I’ve been trying so hard to hang on. Every day has become a battle.
I have these moments of pure joy and then it goes again.
so sorry.

While you are still alert and talking on here, you can still tell your husband. He will want to help. Call 999 before you are too I'll to do so.

There will be a way through this, there always is and things will get better, but you need to tell him and get help now.

Then you can take steps to heal.

If this makes it final, I promise you that is a good thing in disguise. Likelihood is, he will be so worried and supportive.

My love, you need help. And the people that can help you are not on a thread.

If this was your friend, you'd be calling for her.

Don't worry about him or her, worry about you. Choose you. Call 999 please. It'll be okay.

Do you mean calling 999 is final? Or admitting you are struggling is final? Or that having taking the pills is final?

Because without telling him or calling 999 then it is for sure final.

Asking for help, admitting the struggle is not final... it's a step on the road away from final.

Op, stormsurfer is right.
Those 3 little numbers aren't so scary when they get there and help you. And they will be so kind and help you. I promise.

Yes, please call 999 they will help.

He’s got to go on a work trip today. He should be going soon.

Tell him and he can stay with you. Whatever has happened he will not want you to be alone. There will be a way through. Tell him you've taken the pills. He needs to know how bad you are feeling.

Take this step away from final!!!

I’m so sorry everyone. Thank you for being there for me.

As @LilyJessie said we can not help here on the internet, please reach out in real life to 999 or your husband. You need someone actually there to check you over and help.

Please, please wake your husband and tell him what you've taken. And please call and ambulance. You don't want to give a temporary (albeit really shitty) situation a permanent solution. I think you know that you need help, and that this isn't like you. There is still time to get off this train, you just have to press the emergency button. Your kids need you around. Keep talking OP. Ask for help

Wake your husband up now.
wash your face with cold water.
Your husband would want you to be here and when you sober up so will you.

You need to get a grip OP.
you are a strong lady.

you need to shake yourself out of this.
you need him and he needs you.
wake him up. Tell him what you’ve done, how you feel and you can’t carry on as it’s mentally affecting you.

Wake him up!!! Now!

Yes, wake him, tell him, call 999!!

I will. He’s going to be so disappointed with me.
I’m so frightened. But yes, I have to do something to stop this.

DO IT!
Now

And make yourself sick right now!

You haven't disappointed him, he needs to know how far this has pushed you. He will be disappointed in his daughter for her behaviour. This could be the thing that starts him sorting out boundaries with her.

It was hours ago. About 4pm.
im going to wait until he’s gone. I can’t cause him anymore distress.
I don’t know how to get to the hospital