I think I’m having a breakdown

[ShellieL]

That’s it.
life is becoming unbearable.
I have great job. I was happily married until yesterday. It all came tumbling down.
I know I’ve lost it all now.
its 2am and I don’t know what to do.

You've done the right thing getting help.

Take care of yourself Shellie, and take it a step at a time. Praying for you.

Thinking of you x

Show him this thread as a lot of people do not understand the impact others can have.

The words and actions of selfish, spoiled, insensitive and unkind people on those with the opposite traits are laid stark here and make a toxic bloom.

He needs to be aware of this and understand that his part in all this.

Hopefully he is a good a man as you think he is.

Shellie please get through this and then maybe consider your hormones may not be helping how you feel too. You said you're 53, not sleeping, not coping with work, don't recognise yourself, angry, anxious and feel like everything is hopeless - I felt exactly like this and it was menopause. I know you have other triggers there, and I'm certainly not minimising them, but it may be worth investigating. Sleep deprivation alone makes everything seem impossible. Sending love and strength, you will feel better.

I can see that you've become isolated & your world smaller, but also that your SD is causing you so much difficulty. It's it a coincidence that she has returned home so shortly after you were married?

I also agree with pp (and from own experience) that this may definitely be being exacerbated by the menopause. If you are not already on it, I really think you need to discuss going on HRT as soon as possible.

I hope that you are in the hospital, getting the help that you need op.💐💐💐

I am waiting to be seen - 4 hour wait.
my husband is by my side.
menopause has crossed my mind. The inability to deal with things, that I used to.

Can you change up your job and go into work?
That will give you a set of peers to see each day.
Can you set up a portion of your house as your own retreat?
Can you just happily not hear, see or react to SD?
ie walk the dog cheerfully when she arrives.
Can you and DH go out at least for one day per weekend.
No phones invited.
Can you always ask another neighbout to feed dog in future?
Work out an adult way to restrict contact with SD while not saying anything negative about her and DH's relationship.
Music can be a great solace. Can you rest and listen in a safe place to music you love?
Contact a professional support group or counseller.
Attend meditation or prayer.
Bathe in a hot tub and soothe until you feel better.
Can you share this discussion with your spouse?

It's also the inconsistency of the ability to deal with things you used to - good weeks, then bad weeks, it was my fluctuating hormones that made me feel so out of control at times. So much of what you said resonated with me, so you're definitely not alone.

You’re in the best place now. I hope you’re doing ok.

Thank you all so much. I am beyond grateful.
I’ve just had bloods taken and need to wait to see how much damage I’ve done.
I am completely mortified.
I will need to talk to him, but not now.
I suspect he knows though.

So sorry you are in this dark place.
As others have said, please think about menopause.
Female suicide is highest in the menopause years (45-55.)
Regardless of what happens today, maybe book yourself in with a private menopause consultant and discuss treatment like HRT?
And, if you are worried about your home- you're married so although your H owns it, it's also yours.

You will work through this.

As a family you will pull together and find a way. Start afresh from today. Good luck x

Yes @ShinetheLights average age of suicide in women is 51 - such a scary statistic

Oh love, what a horrible horrible night you've had. The silence and darkness makes you feel so much more helpless and overwhelmed. You were so unhappy and desperate that you took the pills - now that is reaching the end of your tether. As you said, this is not like you - you have become a different person. I think as others have mentioned, it could be linked to menopause, but the step daughter issue needs to be sorted. It sounds like your anger and anxiety has been building up and up which is completely understandable. I imagine you have been quietly putting up with it but so unhappy inside. Now you have reached breaking point and things must come out in the open. I am very glad to hear that your husband is with you and that you've had blood tests. With it all blowing up you can both address the issue, get it all out and start planning on how to move forward. It may be messy and uncomfortable but sometimes things have to completely break so that they can be fixed. I'll be thinking of you x

I've only read your comments OP, I'm glad you're seeking help. Sometimes it does all feel like it's too much, but there is help out there.

Reaching out to you also.
You were desperate and no way should you feel guilt or worry for the others around you.
I too agree it sounds alike the menopause is fuelling this. I’ve been there and it’s a dark and lonely place.
yoyve done amazingly to reach out for help. Really is the best thing. You’ll now get the help you deserve.

as for your step daughter..is there anyway you can distance from her or is that not a possibility? You need to do what’s right for you right now, nobody else.

Sending the biggest hug

Listen, family relationships can be, and often are, really difficult. Step family relationships can be complicated.
But you need to work through this.
Please don't throw away a happy marriage because of the relationship you have with your SD.
Be honest with your husband, tell him how you feel, but explain to him that you want to fight for your marriage.

Your husband might surprise you, he may not necessarily prioritise his daughter over his marriage with you. He may want to find a way to protect you whilst maintaining his relationship w6his daughter - it is possible.
Sending hugs.

I echo that.
Also another vote for menopause symptoms. Some women can experience extreme symptoms, making them feel they are going mad.
Glad you are getting help.

*Whilst maintaining a relationship with his daughter

It maybe the menopause, but it could also be the fact that you’ve had enough of his daughter and can’t put up with it anymore. Would you dh be up for putting boundaries in place for his dd or will he not tolerate that at all?
I hope that you get help whilst in hospital and be strong!

I am pretty sure that my hormones are at fault here. And that a lot of small things have created this awful crescendo.
I really hope that he can forgive me.
I do absolutely need to put some boundaries in place. I like the idea of us being able to go out without phones - the constant contact has worn me down.
I will not ever do another WhatsApp group and I will minimise contact.
I wish I had asked for help earlier.

Forgive you? He doesn’t have anything to forgive. He does need to work through your feelings and put boundaries up with his daughter to make his marriage to you work. I hope he is up to this and worthy.

Your step daughter sounds like a flippin nightmare! I'd have cracked long long ago. And well done for telling her where to get off, she deserved it!