OH has left hand hold please.. police just left

[Xmasiscomingg]

He completely flipped this morning I asked him for more help with the baby in the night and it just escalated and he pretty much attacked me and pushed the kids over whilst they was trying to help me. Slapped me round the face and pushed me down on the floor.

I asked him to go he took forever packing his things so I rang the police.

He’s gone now and I feel lost I don’t know what to do. I need to clean the house sort out getting my own car. DD is crying because she wants to go with her dad she is a daddy’s girl.

Im embarrassed to even go out the house because all the neighbours were watching.

Well done, OP. You must be feeling relieved that he's gone at last.

Please don't worry about what the neighbours think. I expect they were silently cheering you on, anyway.

I called the police on my (long-ago-ex) husband and it was the start of a much better life for me and the DC. It was approximately thirty five years ago and I eventually got divorced. It was the best thing I could have done.

No man has the right to attack you, whether it's physical or emotional injury.

How awful for your children. You must protect them now, OP. Don't let your husband weasel his way back into your life.

People have died of aneurysms, because they’ve turned up at A&E become aggressive, and the police have been called and arrested them. It’s not out of the question of course but its unlikely given there’s usually some sort of warning that leads up to it and let’s be honest Something would’ve happened by now at the police station to alert the police to a health condition.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I have been here .. 6 years ago. It was a horrible time and like you neighbours were watching but what they will be thinking is what an arsehole he is and wondering if you and the kids are OK.

Just concentrate on getting through the next few days then start on a plan.

If it helps at all i:

Involved police
Got a non harassment order (wasn't the first time he was taken away by the police but it was the last)
Involved a solicitor who arranged contact with dd and got an indefinite interdict on him (injunction)
Arranged childcare
Applied for all benefits I was entitled too.
Arranged a car
6 months later I moved house.

Your dd is just young and doesn't understand. Just tell her he is working or is busy at the moment.

Please don't go back. It won't be the last time this happens. You and your kids deserve better.

Don’t take him back into the family home or you could risk having your children in care. Sorry, harsh but true. The other posters being brutally honest.
Bastard that he is, you’re well rid. How dare he hurt you and your children.

Please don’t feel embarrassed, more than likely your neighbours will thing you are so brave! You had the strength to protect yourself and your children.
Do whatever you need to do, today just be kind to yourself and your children! You have been through an awful ordeal.
😘🌸

What nonsense! This comment alone is the very type of thing that keeps women stuck in abusive relationships. OP do not listen, I've been through this, it is not the case at all. Yes chilrens services will be involved but they are there to help and support, not judge!

OP fuck the neighbours, just spend the next few days looking after yourself and being kind to yourself. I had a very similar experience so I can absolutely relate to how you're feeling. Please don't take him back, this is the next chapter of your new life now. Things will be rocky for a while most likely but eventually the dust will settle amd your life will improve. Take all the help and support on offer. Victim support and child services will now ore than likely be in the picture temporarily- son NOT see this as a negative, it is a positive. My life improved ten fold once these two agencies were involved. Have faith in the process

Please tell them - the police - that you wish to, it will make it easier in the long run and ask for a non mol order

please do it

I didn’t and shrugged it off and it harder when it came to access the the kids etc

Not sure if they have already been linked too but this charity was brilliant and helped me get a court order so my husband wasn't allowed in the house etc.

www.ncdv.org.uk/

Imagine this happened to YOUR daughter as her mum would you want her to tell you.

im a lioness and no one will do that to my cub - tell your mum she’s in your pack and another lioness

Not pressing charges will tell him there is an open door to come back. IMO you should absolutely press charges if someone assaults you. I did the same as you. Didn't press charged on numerous occasions and he always saw that as a change to get back in as I was 'soft' or a 'pushover'. The last time an assault took place I pressed charges and the police told me after that even if I had attempted to drop them, they would have proceeded to take him to court without me. Now every time he rears his head I'm on the phone to the police to report. I'm not putting myself or DS at any risk again and ex needs to know I mean that.

To add - he was convicted of assault and a restraining order was put in place. Tell your family and friends as they will then be a supportive circle surrounding you. Please don't keep this a secret as that's even easier to let him back then. Protect yourself and child. Think...if this was her in years to come, what would you want her to do?

The problem with not pressing charges is that history gets rewritten very quickly, and if you don’t have written documented evidence at some point in the near future, I absolutely promise she will be called a liar, and somebody will believe his version of events..

I thought the law had changed, and it was no longer up to victims, whether or not charges were pressed ?

I don't think the OP has to worry about pressing charges just now, she has enough on her immediate plate.

She can do it later if she feels she wants to.

You've done the right thing; the shame is his, not yours.

I'd reconsider bringing charges if you have the option. He has done this, not you, and you want him to stay well away.

Please don’t be embarrassed. You are amazing. If you were my neighbour I would check that you were ok , make you a cup of tea and offer a hug.

Op could you see if other parents in your children's classes could bring them to school next week. It would give you a bit more time to buy a car and a good one. The last thing you need is to end up with a money pit of a car

You’ve been really brave, OP. Please don’t feel any shame. I know it’s hard to admit when things go wrong, but you’ve done the hardest bit by kicking him out. It’s good that you have your mum to support you - please tell her as soon as you can bear. Could she help with the car/school logistics?

You can't press charges in England and Wales can you? I thought the police went to the CPS?

I'm so sorry @Xmasiscomingg December is supposed to be the best time of the year, but for many of us, it's the hardest time of the year.

Holding your hand 🌷

In my experience the police will press charges (put the case to cps if it qualifies) if they think the crime is serious enough/enough potential evidence.

When I reported sexual offences and abuse by my ex they told me they would take it forward with my involvement or not.

When my ex later breached his non mol because I had a witness they went ahead with the court date/conviction without my go ahead

The police should be taking a statement from OP and making assessments on what to do. OP if you have any injuries it's really important you get photographs/see a dr, tell the police. As without witnesses if there's no other evidence then it can quickly become charges dropped as he said/she said

And I know that from the numerous other times that my ex assaulted me and got away with it

Oh they'll also probably do a questionnaire to asses the level of domestic violence