OH has left hand hold please.. police just left

[Xmasiscomingg]

He completely flipped this morning I asked him for more help with the baby in the night and it just escalated and he pretty much attacked me and pushed the kids over whilst they was trying to help me. Slapped me round the face and pushed me down on the floor.

I asked him to go he took forever packing his things so I rang the police.

He’s gone now and I feel lost I don’t know what to do. I need to clean the house sort out getting my own car. DD is crying because she wants to go with her dad she is a daddy’s girl.

Im embarrassed to even go out the house because all the neighbours were watching.

i was in a similar position to you. hopefully you'll get an idva - police should refer you.
the only statistic i knew (probably from here) is that it takes averagely 8 attempts to leave the pigface ex for good. it's been so difficult (no love lost, just rage/ sadness/sadness/despair/anxiety. a fabulous mix) but it's worth it and you literally can't put a price on freedom.

a statistic that the safeguarding lady (god i love her) told me is that it's an average of 60 instances of abuse before the victim says anything. that was like a slap round the face as it was so true. the police will ask for evidence and you might end up repeating your testimony so much that you get almost insensitised to it (i did) which can make you think that you made the whole thing up but that's you gaslighting yourself. (the things i have learned from the internet. nothing i ever knew or was aware of before). (i made 3 statements that were videoed etc)

best of luck.

If I can - and I do - so can you. I have nobody else to help
have faith in yourself
we all believe in you you can do it

Thank you @Whiskeypowers think I just need a good cry when the kids are in bed.

There is no "press charges". People don't do that in UK.

We can only say that should police and CPS decide to prosecute we will give statements and cooperate fully.

Just so op knows there is no pressure to decide

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health Mental Health resources]]. You can also go to the www.samaritans.org/ Samaritans website]]
or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

No of course not but it’s wrong to assume that now this has happened children’s services won’t have expectations of OP in terms of not going back to the relationship as he has been violent and abusive to her and the children

Please tell your mum. Ask her for her help and moral support. She will be very upset if she learns about this from neigbbours or her friends.

Please press charges. Your husband committed several crimes in your own home.

Please cuddle your child and assure her you will protect her from harm. Make some hot cocoa for the two of you and sip it together on the couch.

I know from experience that it's tempting to get stuck into some physical activity to dispel the adrenaline and to take your mind off what's happened, but your child needs your full attention because she has been terrified, and you need to look squarely at the violence and feel the effects on you too.

It's interesting you call her a daddy's girl. It often happens when you're dealing with a father who plays Guess My Mood, or someone who blows a little hot and cold that a child will be hyper aware of where she stands with him, and can come across as very attached to daddy when in fact the 'bond' is based on fear.

Stop trying to keep busy. It's a way to avoid dealing with reality.

Go to your mum's house and let her look after you. Sit on her couch and cry.

You can. You don't have to do it all right now. Just go minute by minute, making small decisions as you go.

Please call your mum. You don't need to go through this alone. Even if all she can do is give you emotional support, that can be a big thing.

Do you have friends you haven't seen in awhile?

Have you thought at all about relocating? Not today or tomorrow. Not even next month. Just whether or not it might be something you'd want to do at some point.

Oh OP you poor thing and your poor DCs, you must have all been so scared. I have some experience of SS and if they do get involved they are absolutely there to support you and the children. However, DH taking the children like that isn’t good. I’m sure everything feels impossible right now. But you have to protect them. This is the kind of thing social workers see as concerning. Sorry I don’t mean to worry you. You can absolutely get through this.

How are you getting on today @Xmasiscomingg ? Did you get your dental treatment?