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Original poster

I'm getting a termination

419 replies

Sadandveryupset · 10/01/2008 10:28

Hi !
I have posted few posts on my present situation. DH and I had a condom failure, took the MAP and it didnt work as I'm now pregnant. It's still really hard to believe I'm pregnant, it's my third pregnancy.
I cant keep it because I have already 2 young daughters, we cant afford to have another one. I'm so so so sad to have to go trought with it. If I keep it, it's going to wreck my family, I'll never be able to look after 3 young children, we'll always be poor, not being able to afford a house. I love my dds so much and I want to anything I can to be there for them at every levels. Has anyone been in my situation ? How do you live after such a trauma ?

OP posts:
tulip27 · 14/01/2008 19:27

Its at night when you have time to think about things but you may feel like this for a while, even after its all done and dusted, but that is normal, it would be worse to feel nothing.Your anxiety means that your a caring human being. Just remember you are doing the most selfless thing you can for your family x

tulip27 · 14/01/2008 19:36

Are you using Marie stopes?

Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 19:42

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tulip27 · 14/01/2008 19:54

Yes I did, they were very good but be prepared for a bit if a shock. Its a bit like a conveyor belt, they saw 15 of us in the hour and as we left another 15 came in. It was also a bit brutal that they made sure they got the money out of you as soon as you walked through the door and they did insist on playing cold play wires and other such insensitive songs in the waiting rooms. But they were professional, quick and helpful in all other areas.I suppose I wasn't prepared for the sheer volume of women doing the same thing. We went to the reading clinic a different one may be a litle different.

Miano · 14/01/2008 20:06

Summerfruit,

Thinking of you today.

paddlinglikemad · 14/01/2008 20:08

Summerfruit..from my recent experience and to echo Tulip27 be prepared for how busy it may be we waited for 3 hours in waiting room with about 10 others and then called thru' in 3's , prepped together and then in 'recovery' together..everyone very matter of fact. You will be asked to pay upfront and sent home with antibiotics and painkillers...They may make sure you have something to eat & drink before they allow you home....am thinking of you..be kind to yourself..

psychomum5 · 14/01/2008 20:22

still here, and thinking of you.

remember, how ever you feel after, shock, grief, sadness, relief, phew......any and all of those feeling will be normal and OK.

there is none of us here judging you, we are all here supporting you as you make a huge and selfless descision regarding not just you, but also you DH and DD's.

I feel you are going thro possibly one of the most life changing descisions possible, and am in awe of you, and of the way you are thinking things thro. I know you are finding things tough and confusing, and I know that deep down you are probably wondering still if this is indeed the right path, but beleive that it is. You are doing things for the right reasons.......your daughters futures and happiness and wellbeing.

tomorrow will be hard.......but stay strong and hold on to the love you feel for those little girls, and the love your DH and little girls feel for YOU.

ScruffyTeddy · 14/01/2008 20:29

Good luck summerfruit, a very hard decision to make, I hope everything works out for you.

Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 20:46

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tulip27 · 14/01/2008 20:51

Yes my email is [email protected]. Good luck hon, I will be thinking of you x

Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 20:52

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Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 21:13

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expatinscotland · 14/01/2008 21:16

good luck, summerfruit!

Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 21:18

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notjustmom · 14/01/2008 21:20

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expatinscotland · 14/01/2008 21:22

would it be possible for you to get something to calm your nerves from your doctor beforehand?

i've not had a termination, but i have had an evacuation for missed MC and they gave me an IV sedative soon after arrival because i was pretty keyed up.

psychomum5 · 14/01/2008 21:22

summerfruit.....you sound so unsure and scared still

are you really truly sure this is right for you???

you say you want something/someone to deal with this for you.......natural feelings!!!

think of this tho.....

If, in the morning, you woke up and took a test, and it was negative.....what do you think your feeling would be???

think hard, and think with your heart and gut.

if your feelings would be one of relief, and big happy relief, then that is your answer.

if however, you think you would cry and feel grief, then I really truly think you need some more counselling before taking this step......maybe you may still arrive at the same descision, but at least you will arrive at that descision with peace (of sorts) in your heart.

you really need to be sure......really really sure.....if you are not, then talk more.......even if it is to us all night.

if we are your councelling people and thoughts, then that is our job tonight.

I wish I could be there physically for you.....

Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 21:23

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notjustmom · 14/01/2008 21:26

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Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 21:31

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paddlinglikemad · 14/01/2008 21:33

Summerfruit I was in Liverpool..how busy it is will all depend on the day I think, just wanted to prepare you for the possibility it was far from what I imagined it would be

notjustmom · 14/01/2008 21:34

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paddlinglikemad · 14/01/2008 21:35

and you are right you will know your decision when you arrive there....take care of yourself am thinking of you

Summerfruit · 14/01/2008 21:44

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psychomum5 · 14/01/2008 21:45

summer.....you have asnswered your gut.

you said that should tommorrow give you a negative test, you would be relieved.....(even tho you seconded it with 'having let nature take its course').

you gut is telling you that this is the right path for you.

feeling scared is natural, as is feeling any other emotion right now......but ultimately you do not want this, for you or the rest of you family.

you are making the right choice, I truly believe that, and I am in no way judging yo and nor should anyone.......put anyone in your shoes and there is not one of us that would not feel as you do right now.

we all have different paths, and different need,s and wants, and this is yours.

follow it and trust in yourself.

and most of all, love yourself in the way that your husband does and your daughters, as they are the ones that count.