***Citalopram Buddies... ;o)***

[ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads]

Well.. jumping in on the act of the other "buddy threads", there seem to a shed load of us on citalopram.

How many of us are there exactly?

What dosage are you all on? Is it working?

I'm on 10mg for anxiety. It certainly takes the edge off the panic feelings and stops me waking up with that dreadful, crippling anxious feeling, as if my stomach's in a vice. But being as things are a bit crap at the moment, I do feel generally down even though I've never been technically considered depressed (just suffering from lifestyle induced anxiety!)

DH is on 20mg. Similar reasons, slightly different symptoms.

We have been on it since June.

I came off mine (sensibly) a month of so ago but the horrid panic came back and I just couldn't face all that again. It makes life "un-do-able" and I have a lot of stuff that I have to get done everyday/responsibilities etc. So not sure what the answer is but I certainly don't want to stay on anti depressants forever and GP originally mentioned a 6 month time slot.

What are other's experiences?

PS I hate the "no orgasm" side effect of citalopram!! It really really bothers me.. main reason I wanted to come off it.. but I hate the anxiety more! Anyone else on it suffer in that way?

Twigy

Did you and Itsa know each other in RL then before you got the illness?

nope.

Oh, its nice then that you have made friends on here and can meet up, I must admit I am finding it hard being here in the day on my own, never felt lonely on my days off before but feel really lost until kids come home, they keep me busy then!!!!

Thats what I like about MN you get to meet weirdos like Itsa.

The funny thing is though we can chat about our illness here and in RL just be normal.

Have you met any friends through MN KK?

Not in RL, but I like being able to post in anonymity because I am quite a private person, even my best friends don't know everything about me and my life and i wouldn't want them too. I like this website because you can "talk" to people who understand and can advise and support you and vice versa and although I don't know you and Itsa and the other girls I feel like we are all friends, if that makes sense.

Course it does. To be honest I find it difficult to make friends and dont have many here but I like the chats we have.

I feel, I am getting more moral support with the friends in this thread than with my RL friends.

yes I do too. It's much easier to be honest and open on here - even though anyone could actually be reading it!

Some woman wants to talk to you about a red bike or sumit. Seen it on the threads its got your name on it!!! Twigys nose is twitching!!!

oh yes I was asking a lady about something she was selling. I shall find her...

Hi guys. Just want to offload on here. Went to see GP today as I had a letter in the post saying he wanted to see me. I forgot my appointment with him on Friday - what is wrong with my memory?? So I booked another appointment for today. When I got there he didn't even know that he had asked to see me . Anyhow, he asked how I was getting on with my medication and whether or not I felt ready to start reducing the doseage. Wasn't quite sure how I felt really - obviously in the perfect world I'd rather not be taking them at all - so I told him that I'd be willing to give it a try. So I have another six weeks to finish my current doseage of 20mg a day then I will go onto 10mg a day for a while to see how I go. I do feel nervous about it as I have taken Citalopram in the past, got myself feeling great and stayed that way off of the medication for over a year then went back downhill. I'm scared this could happen again. I really don't want to be feeling that low again - not sure DH could handle it either. My depression has affected him more than I'd realised.

Morning Girls, How are you?

Sparkler hopefully one of the other girls will be able to help you with an answer re coming off tablets, its my first time so its really scary for me anyway. I must admit if you can only take them for 6 months, it did cross my mind what happens then, i guess if you get really low then you go back on again??

Hi Sparkler glad your back.

How do you think you feel overall at the minute. You havent been on in a while so could it be that your feeling brighter?

I must admit I need to see my doc soon as I want to go from 40 to 20. Think, like you, its affecting my memory plus I get confused alot which makes me cry!!!

Has it made any difference talking here? For me it has been fab and I think that I would still stay in this thread so the girls could still help me through things. Do what is right for you and speak to your doc if the 10mg dont help!!

Hi girls,
I go the doc tomorrow. I am a bit worried. I want him to sign me off for a bit longer. I am still waiting to hear from Occupational Health too.
The thought of going back to work fills me with dread. To be honest I don't think I shall go back to teaching at all.
The thing is that 70% of the time I feel ok. I still have the odd panic attack and I still have big problems with sleep.
I also still think about suicide. Don't panic about that - it's something that I have always thought about and I have learnt to live with it. It's as though I hear news reports in my head saying things like 'and she killed herself' or 'then she lost control of the car' (that's scary when I'm driving which I haven't really done for weeks now). The thoughts did go away a couple of weeks ago when the tablets kicked inand I felt really good for a few days.
Ok so now you think I am mad.

Hi Itsa.
I don't think you're mad at all. I think we all have thoughts like that from time to time, I know I do! It's what you do (or DON'T do) about those thoughts that's important.
I don't blame you for not wanting to go back to teaching, it's such a stressfull job with little or no thanks! What age group do you teach? Could you afford to quit your job or reduce your hours?

I teach secondary kids in a unit for pupils who have been expelled from mainstream. I've just had enough of being sworn at and having to duck flying chairs. I don't think that I could do that particular job part-time, but I might look for a prt-time position of do supply teaching.
We were struggling on just my wage anyway (DP has been a SAHD for a year), but I think if we both worked part-time and cut back on expenditure we would be ok. We have fairly expensive rent and I think we could live in a cheaper place.
My DP and I have spoken about it and he is concerned that a) I am throwing away a career and b) we would be worse off financially. But I could go back into teaching later on, and a friend said I would easily be able to explain a break in my career now as a child-raising break, and also my health and sanity is surely more important than the financial reward.
I'm concerned that I do tend to put a brave face on things a lot, and I'll just say to the doc tomorrow that I'm ok.

No, please don't tell the doc that you're okay if you aren't. You won't be doing yourself or your family any favours! Supply sounds like a good idea, you could choose the days that suit you and it's a foot in the door of the schools you go to. If you find that it's too much then you aren't committed to anything and won't have notice to serve. Have you considered teaching at a college, I'm sure it would be much more rewarding when the kids actually want to be there and you can teach them something they are actually interested in. You'd still have the school holidays with the added bonus that if kids throw chairs they'll be kicked off the course!

Dont do it Itsa you sound like you still need a break. No-one is going to thank you for going back early and your health and family come first.

Just tell your doctor what you have told us and that you still get pannicy and your job with the kids will have you back to square one in no time!!!

Sorry Chubby Hello how are you at the minute, youve been a bit quiet.

thanks ladies. I can't believe I am worrying about a bloody doc appt. I'll probably not sleep properly thinking about it. Right, I shall gear myself up for it. Send me strong thoughts at 10.30 tomorrow. Well, probably more like 11 by the time I get in

I'll let you know how I get on. And thank you.

Not bad thanks Twigy. Sleeping a bit better and not having so many headaches. How are things with you?

Good luck Itsa! x

Still got a few more weeks off work but feel tonnes better. Ready to reduce my dose to 20mg.

Got a job interview on monday, and it is my ideal job. Think if I got it alot of things will fall into place. The hours would be so much better, no more 7am starts, thats what made me flip in the first place.

Glad your sleeping better Chubby you feel so much better after a good sleep.

That's great Twigy, you sound much chirpier already! Good luck with the interview, I'll be thinking of you!!! Let us know how it goes. x

went to doc. Got another three weeks off work. He put my dose up to 40mg from 20mg.

Hi Itsa been thinking about you. Glad you have a few more weeks break, I must admit that I feel so much better on 40mg. Was worried that I would feel a bit zombified but it was ok. How do you feel about them being increased.

I have woke this morning after my exciting phonecall last night. What if my PND affects me getting this job. My boss will tell them in my reference should I fess up and be honest in the interview even if they dont ask. Really worried as really need this job. Start time will be at 10am so will be brill!!!!

HELP