Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

I honestly think that one day it might come to that. I feel so in a spin when I'm spiralling that the most important thing is examining or googling. I just can't seem to stop. It's totally out of control.

Thanks @MrsWhites Appreciate the nice words.

@Skyliner001 I understand how you feel - we lose perspective and the drive for reassurance makes us do things which would seem ridiculous to non-sufferers but which to us make total sense. I'm sorry you've had a bad day - hopefully tomorrow will be a better one.

Thanks so much, I really hope so! I'm going to try and get an early night, and leave my breasts alone!

@Skyliner001 Why don't we see if we can get to this time tomorrow evening without checking anything??

I think that's a really good idea, I am in if you are! Shall we check in tomorrow at 9 pm?

On another note I was adding up all of the mad thing that I done after my insane breast exam in the bathroom mirror at work.

I've pushed a pin into a lump/spot on my side to see if I can make it go away, I've laid down on my kitchen floor to examine my breasts because I couldn't wait to get upstairs, I've pulled over when driving to check something, write something down or Google something, I've spoilt numerous nice occasions with worry and obsessions. I have examined, or googled in a fit of health anxiety right up until an important meeting on zoom, I've gone off during the working day to do an examination, mainly when working from home.

And these don't include the endless hours googling, or the repeated examinations, making my skin sore.

It's so mad when you actually write it down…

I've had ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, breast cancer, a lot! Leukaemia, lung cancer, skin cancer MS, HIV, brain tumour, throat cancer, thyroid cancer, stomach cancer, bone cancer....

@Skyliner001 That sounds like me - I struggle to think of a part of my body that I haven't had a cancer worry about. Yes let's check in at 9pm tomorrow. I'm really going to try - it would be amazing to have a day free of checking. I sort of feel like by doing this I have permission not to check!

@MakingASilkPurse Likewise, we can be in it together! If you get the urge, then think of me, also getting the urge, and thinking of you and trying to not do it! If that makes sense, and doesn't sound too weird 😳👀🤞🏼🤞🏼

@Skyliner001 That doesn't sound weird at all, I'm feeling quite hopeful 🙃 Good luck 🤞

Good luck to you too, I'll check in tomorrow evening 🤞🏼👀🙃

Morning everyone! I had a night of feeling better on my antibiotics but also still have nagging back pain. So of course I've convinced myself that that means the antibiotics either aren't working or my kidney infection is something different. I just want to stop stressing about this 😭

@amblonyxx Sorry you feel so bad, I completely get it! Hope you feel better soon.

Good luck @MakingASilkPurse We've got this! I know we can do it.

How’s everyone doing today? I’ve had a wobble this morning as all I can think is before I had my bloods because of these lymph nodes I’d just come off antibiotics 48 hours before my bloods and I’m now convinced because of that it won’t of shown anything wrong when there could of been? antibiotics probably don’t stay in your blood for 48 hours however, just having a panic.

Hi @Skyliner001 I had a bad start this morning because I felt like I had to check properly before I could start not checking, which I know is the whole point but I couldn't help it 🙁 However, I did some rational googling and feel okish, so I'm going to not check now til tonight. Not what I'd hoped for but I figure if I can go from now til this evening that will be a big positive step. I hope you do well today. Positive thoughts!

@tmh88 Massive wobbly day for me today, so completely empathise. For some reason was a really bad day, although I was at work all day, and out of the house, so that stopped me a little bit.

@MakingASilkPurse I failed I'm afraid, I had failed already at about 630 in the morning, like you I decided to do an exam, so that I could have a non-exam day. Focusing mainly on my breasts, then I had an okay day, but I'm having some spotting at the moment, so decided when I got back to do an exam of my vagina…

I found a really small lump, approximately the size of a lentil, it's firm and doesn't move right up on the inside, and now I'm freaking out. I've never done as intimate exam before, so it might of been there for absolutely ages. But it's sending me mad. I hate this😭

Sorry you've had a setback @Skyliner001. I was hoping you'd done better than me. Needless to say I didn't manage not to check until tonight - I must have done hundreds of checks. I got some respite when I did a big shop at the supermarket, and I've managed not to check my boobs in there! Re the vagina exam I have of course done that in my time - this is perhaps TMI but from time to time I get a little lump which is like a zit 🤢 and I've learned that's what they are, they occur once in a while and I don't actually worry about them anymore. On the inside of the lips bit - sorry to gross you out but I thought it might be helpful 😬

@amblonyxx and @tmh88 I don't know much at all about antibiotics I'm afraid so haven't got much to offer, but I hope you're feeling less stressed this evening.

Sorry you have also had a bad day, I don't know why I've had such a bad day.

Thank you for that information, that does help, I think the reality is that we do have lots of lumps and bumps in our body, and it's just us health anxiety sufferers that really panic about them. But also very few other people are probably meticulously examining their bodies in the same way that we do. In a strange way we are probably more familiar with what is there…

This little lump is way up, i.e. fully up, but I don't really know what I'm feeling😳😳🥺

Just googled vagina cancer, and discovered that only five people in my age bracket are diagnosed every year. Why would I assume that I have this? And yet I would never assume I would win the lottery, which I would probably have more chance of doing!

Hi ladies, sorry you are having a bad day.

@MakingASilkPurse those zits are bartholin cysts, can you tell I’ve panicked about one of them before myself 😂

@Skyliner001 is it on your cervix? Sounds like a nabothian cyst to me...again, guess how I know that! Could also be a slightly raised bit of cervical erosion too, that would also account for a touch of bleeding!

Hope you both have a better day tomorrow!

@MrsWhites Thank you so much for that, it's very near the cervix, if not on it. I don't really exactly know where the cervix is, but I'm due a smear in a few months, I'll just keep an eye on it I think.

I wonder what it would be like to have a normal brain.

Thank you though, I do think it sounds like that from what I've read online, and I can tell you speak from bitter bitter experience!

That's why this thread is so excellent. I'm going to try and have a better day tomorrow💚

Hey @MakingASilkPurse I'm going to try again tomorrow, fingers Crossed, I'll let you know how I get on X

@MrsWhites We have some strange things in common 🤣

@Skyliner001 I'll try too - realistically I know I will check, so I'll aim for checking maybe just 3 times instead of hundreds. Let's touch base again tomorrow! Good luck