Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

Hi everyone. Sorry, it's been ages. How are all you?
I've been so busy and haven't posted. HA got a bit better but has reared its ugly head again and I'm back to poking the back of my neck and convincing myself it's something sinister with my lymph nodes. And now it hurts from the poking 😫 thing it's I'm sure it's been there all my life! But could it be something? I've had a full blood count recently so hoping it would have showed up if something wrong with it.

Hope you are all having better days!

@Skyliner001 I’ve had then stopping and starting of a period too. It only started occurring after I had my son. Still have no idea why but I remember it was stressing me, I mentioned it to a nurse once during a smear but she didn’t seem concerned.

I think it’s normal but totally get why you would be thrown by it. Been there done that :)

@Goolies my lymph nodes cause me stress too! I actually had tape measure out the other day!

@MrsWhites yep totally have lumps that don’t move but. Also have a moving water balloon like lump. Can’t believe how different my left breast feels to the right! It’s also a little lower! Don’t know if I breastfed more on that side or what but it’s so lumpy. Hope the soreness has eased, I’m still feeling sore.

Evening all.
That's an exact description of me internally too.
Stripy hard bits, ridges, lumpy bits, beanbaggy bits.
I have my scan tomorrow so as you can imagine, all totally calm here (as if)

@TheSilentStars Let is know how it goes! Boobs are so bumpy, until my giant cyst I hadn't laid it much attention. 🙄

@tmh88 lymph nodes have caused me so much stress! I felt one randomly under my jaw whilst I was on holiday and that was it, for the rest of the holiday I believed I’m doomed, and it totally ruined it. Ended up going to see the gp on my return who said it’s just a normal node. That gave me a few days of comfort and mental freedom until the next thing came along!

Thank you all ladies, it’s been so reassuring to hear that you all have the same types of bumpy bits. I’ve managed to leave them alone this afternoon, getting lots of stabbing pains now which i’m reminding myself is because of all my poking. Been mentally repeating that it has been this way for at least a year, husband thinks nearer two years, must be normal for me, think that’s helping to remind myself that it’s just anxiety telling me that I need to check it again and trying to ignore.

Good luck with the scan @TheSilentStars, i’m sure you’ll be fine. Let us know how you get on, will be thinking of you!

@Goolies I understand what you mean about spoiling your holiday. A family member of mine went for her smear test a few days before a big holiday a couple of years ago, we were on the same holiday and I couldn’t understand how she just forgot about it and enjoyed her holiday...I would never be able to do that!

Hi all, I would like to join your post if you don't mind.
I've had health anxiety for 6 years, since my son needed a liver transplant as a baby.
I'm in a downward spiral at the moment as I'm dealing with what I think is a sinus issue and an ear infection but obviously my brain tells me it's a brain tumor or MS 🙄
Ringing the doctors (again) in the morning

@TheSilentStars good luck for your scan! We will all be thinking of you!

Ah ladies! What a description of your lumpy boobs that is and I'm SO pleased I've read it! Mine are exactly the same! @MrsWhites I too have more fat in mine so feel that's why I feel so much in them. They're not very big but they're more 'dense' than expected for my age according to the clinic.

Was having a tidy up and sort out tonight and came across my report from my lymph node ultrasound - was going to bin it but I've kept it incase my mind ever wanders to that again. It was reported as 4mm and they call it a cyst and then 'posh name' lymph node.

I also feel a lot more relaxed today. I'm on day 5 of my sertraline so don't know if that's what it is but today I feel more positive than I have been. Soreness has finally calmed down too, I found even my chest above my boobs was really sore as well as the muscles running from under my arm from having my arms in the air so much to check! 

Hope you're all fast asleep! I'm up on the night feed. @Lib3rtine hope baby has arrived safely!

@ofwarren Welcome! Sorry you're having a hard time at the moment. This thread is very supportive  have you been to the GP with this sinus issue before?

@chorusline79 Welcome back I've just mentioned in a previous post about finding my report from my lymph node ultrasound - have you had one on yours? If you haven't you could always ask your GP. Mine agreed to do one after full bloods and said it was just to give me 'peace of mind' - I also cried all over the poor bloke doing it and he told me the results there and then because he could see how worked up I was!

I haven't been to the doctor about the sinuses, but have spoken to them on the phone and had antibiotics. I've been using a salt water flush and I'm worried I've got water in my ear and caused an infection. I've had 3 hours sleep tonight and woke up having a panic attack. I've got the chills and horrible pressure and a sensation that makes me feel sick in that ear.
I just can't cope with it at all.
I wish there was something I could take that would numb every sensation in my body.

Welcome ofwarren, hopefully you'll find this thread as comforting as we all do.

I have chronic sinus infections and sympathise with the pain. Sometimes, a couple of times a year, I'm physically sick when I've got sinusitis. I also get migraines and for years my GP said my migraines were my sinuses even though I could tell they were two different kinds of head trouble. It might be worth also checking for labrinthitis I think it's called if your ear feels weird with it.

Hope we get another lovely thread baby soon.

@ofwarren, sorry, I missed the part about your son, how scary. I hope he's fine now. That must contribute so much to the anxiety.

Is anyone on here being treated for the anxiety? I've never mentioned it to my GP as I'm worried that if I do, they won't take me seriously when I have symptoms. Nearly everything I've been to the Drs with has been "something". Last time I went with leg numbness and I had a disc compression in my back.
I don't want them to dismiss my symptoms as just anxiety but the anxiety is getting worse so I probably do need to say something.

@TheSilentStars best wishes for today

Having a massive wobble today! My lymph nodes have felt pretty small all week and the one that’s a little bit larger on the left feels quite inflamed this morning! I can’t tell
If it’s bigger or not just more swollen if that makes sense? The others are the same size this one just feels inflamed, also not sure if it’s my mind making things up trying not to poke at it in case I make it worse but I just have that horrendous inner dread feeling today!

@tmh88 morning love, I had the same with my super clavicle node last week. I was completely convinced it felt bigger. I seem to have managed to move past it now.But it was a difficult time!

I do think The mind can play tricks on us, and I also think when we feel things with the tips of our fingers they can feel a lot larger than they actually are. I've noticed that since I feel better mentally this week, it feels smaller again. I do think there is something in that.

Welcome @ofwarren we are all in the same boat here, and I think this thread is massively helpful. Really sorry to hear about your son, no wonder that has triggered health anxiety.

I take sertraline for my anxiety and obsessive compulsions. It's 6 1/2 weeks now, and it's made a huge difference. First three weeks are really rough, but I don't regret it. I feel like I'm getting me back...

Had a brief poke at the harder bit underneath my left nipple, which is above where the giant cyst was. It is a lot harder, and raised up if that makes sense, than on the other breast. But it has just been scanned, and I was told it was normal.

But that's been my thing for today…

Have a day off so going to blitz the house, and not Poke. Anyone want to join in and a no poke day?

@Skyliner001 Did you get side effects from the sertraline? I was given it when I was about 20 and only took one as it gave me a panic attack that lasted all day. Drug side effects are another one of my "things". I really hate taking new ones as I'm in high alert for every sensation.

@Skyliner001 yes the mind is powerful isn’t it I’m hoping it eases soon!

Thought I would make a list of everything on my body I have that I find normal and doesn’t worry me personally, in case anyone can get reassurance from it

So hard lump top of my head (must of bumped maybe as a child)
Pin prick red spots all over
Lymph nodes in my neck (do cause me worry stupidly)
Breast lumps I’m full of them that go right up into the upper outer breast, fatty bits, pea lumps, bean bag parts, right slightly bigger and lower than the other.
Cellulite lower stomach pea lump, bean bag texture all over lower stomach (thanks ds )
Lymph node in my groin fairly larger than my neck say around 1cm!
From thigh down I’m relatively lump free

Hope this helps anyone feeling like I do today, out of that full list I only worry about my neck but if you want to read it and see yours is on my list too might help you to see it’s normal.

Welcome all the newcomers too

@Skyliner001 I did wonder if it could be my tooth also as I’m not being seen until next week!

I'm back!
I have a bit of gallbladder sludge but within the normal for an over 40 blonde fat old bird.
All other abdo bits normal.
It was like a black comedy, obviously, because of Covid there are 3 stages of getting into the bloody place (which kind of takes your mind off the fact you think you're going to leave there with your life irrevocably changed)
Step one- everyone queues outside to be separated into various department mini queues
Step two- you get in and do temperature check
Step three- you go to a window and get checked in and sent upstairs
Step four - you do exactly the same thing again, another window, same documents and computer printouts
Step four- told to wait
Step five - sent to wait somewhere else
Step six- finally through the door
Step seven- scan begins, doctor can't print
Has to have video call with man with spanner who does the "go into settings" etc thing for ten minutes while I lie there all gelled up with my belly in the air. Realises printer isn't switched on
Step right- paper runs out, they have no paper. Nurse dispatched to find some.

Anyhow, I'm home and will have a day off poking (spot the lie) and move downwards to hip bone next probably.

Thank you for the virtual handhold, it was important and I kept thinking of you all as the situation got more and more ridiculous.

I feel the same about telling the GP ofwarren, though the gynaecologist I saw in Nov told me to take some herbally anxiety things, they contain seratonin and melatonin and maybe are a placebo, but do seem to help.

@ofwarren Yes I did unfortunately, I have listed the details of each week below. It actually helps me to write it down.

Week one: First couple of days, some slight stomach upset. Which went away after two days. After that, complete fatigue, this lasted for approximately six days. It was really hard to get out of bed, and I switched to taking the tablet in the evening. That helps a lot.

Week 2 / 10 days: started to feel a lot better, starting to get glimmers of feeling like myself again.

Week 3 / 20 days: Started to feel worse again, increased anxiety, panic, fatigue, nearly gave up, and read a lot of threads online about this point in the medication.

Week four: Felt a lot better, around 50% me.

Week 5: had a real dip here, and had to go back to reading threads online, started to feel anxious again.

Week 6: feeling great now, really really appreciate not giving up. I have tried to take it twice before and given up after a couple of three weeks.I feel about 90% me, my OCD is vastly improved, my anxiety has decreased. My sleep is improved, and my poking has significantly gone down!

Thanks @dillydallydollydaydream7 I think I might get my neck node checked but if I'm being sensible and not panicking i remember being able to feel it there for years but I never gave it a second thought until the HA started. I'm a bit embarrassed to keep going to GP with issues as in past 2 weeks I have contacted Dr about a cyst on my chest ( which I am assured is benign) but it has been there since aug/sept so was worrying me, plus I had a twitch under my right eye for about 3 weeks that wouldn't go but has now resolved itself. Today I am going to try and distract with work and need to get back to my online CBT as I haven't done any since before Christmas.

@tmh88 that's a good idea to make a list, and can definitely identify with all the lumpy bits! How are you getting on? I hope you are coping ok.

@TheSilentStars hope the scan goes ok today