Support/Chat thread for Panic Attacks, OCD, Obsessive Thinking, Depression, PND, come one come all!

[ibroughtcake]

Hi Everyone

I have been thinking of starting this thread for a while so here goes. I am hoping that it will turn into an ongoing thing where we can all get to know and support each other through whatever difficulties we are facing.

Firstly about me, I am mummy to DD 2 and DS 7wks. I have suffered with panic attacks and obsessive thinking for about 5 years now. There have been times when I have been free from it and times when it has been easier (ie when I was on fluoxetine!). I have tried CBT and SSRI's both with some success, but I am really in the midst of a bad time with it at the moment and noticed many other posts about similar things so thought we could all meet at the same place IFSWIM!

I finally went back to the GP to ask for some help yesterday and she has referred me to the Mental Health team and given me a script for Fluoxetine (Prozac). I haven't started taking them yet as I am breastfeeding. I know that they are safe to take whilst bfing but I have anxieties about that too!!

So please come and join, share your tale etc and hopefully we will be able to support each other and offer our own experiences to help some others.

I've just seen this thread and I'd like to join if that's okay.

I've had panic attacks since April 2004. Things that set me off is the feeling of being trapped - being in a train, car (on a motorway), aeroplane, small toilets, hotel rooms, cinemas etc. Sometimes there is no logic to it - I just wake up having a panic attack.

Read some books on CBT which helped and I managed to live more or less normally for a while.

Whilst husband is generally supportive, he doesn't understand (or doesn't want to understnad)that my job (which has a lot of stress) makes me worse. I gave up for a while but due to finances I went back. I would love to be 'back to normal' again, but I don't think it will ever happen.

How is everyone doing today? I spent hours trying to get to sleep last night, despite having taken a sleeping tablet. I guess that's the the citalopram and will ease off. I do have the option of taking two sleeping pills but I'm a bit worried about not being able to get out of bed in the morning. I'm so tired as it is anyway. I have the same problem of thoughts running over and over in my mind and, like you, thought everyone did until I spoke to my dh about it and discovered he has more or less nothing going on in his mind most of the time! I usually take the pee out of him for it but i'm sooo jealous. Sometimes I just can't get a moment without worrying and thinking that awful things are going to happen.

I've spent days rushing around and unable to sleep and today I feel totally exhausted. I did sleep last last (it's quite common for me to wake up at 4 or 5) but I don't feel like I have. I started meds this week. I have huge marital problems too and my DH doesn't really understand what I'm going through.

God awful day today, don't even feel like posting about it, it was just awful

Will be back tomorrow

Shit day here too. broke down bigtime and had a massive axiety attack. DH in dinial and i can't find the words to comunicate with him. I have a friend staying at the moment who is amazing.

((((((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))))) to you ibroughtcake, hope tomorrow is better.

Sorry to hear things aren't too well. I've had a crap night too. Can sympathise with you Barefeete - I think my Dh is getting well and truly pissed off with me at the mo. Have been having terrible dizzy spells which are making me really anxious. When i'm like that i just want to be left alone. Even talking makes me feel horrible. He just won't leave it alone and keeps asking me whats wrong now? He just doesn't get it at all - Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.

sorry so many people are feeling rough right now.

Barefeete - is there anyone who your DH can talk to to let his stresses out other than you?

ellie - have you looked into whether you might have labyrinthitus - as that could be behind the dizziness, and can be associated with anxiety/depression

Totalchaos - Have been at the doc this week and she has given me tablets for labyrinthitis. The reason i personally didn't think it was that was because i get this dizziness all the time really (have done for about 5 years) - How is it related to anxiety? I'd be really interested to know because i really suffer with health anxiety. Have convinced myself that there's something major wrong. Thanks!!

"? Depression and anxiety (due to having to deal with the disorder plus it is believed that the vestibular system controls our anxiety/depression levels so an increase in these in vestibular sufferers may also be due to this fact as well as having to cope with the disorder)."

from www.labyrinthitis.org.uk/page3.htm

Thank you so much for that. None of that was explained to me even though she knows that i'm a particularly anxious person. Will def check out that site

Oh dear, feeling so very sad for everyone having a bad day. Just want to say again that life can get very much better for you than it is today. Honestly, I do speak as someone who has not suffered a panic attack for 17 years now. It is not a life-long sentence. Please believe it - it really is possible to get better!

Elliemac - I'm not sure your doctor should have given you tablets for labyrinthisis - as I understand it, this is usually a condition arising from an infection of the middle or inner ear which causes dizziness (because they control balance). So if something definitely upsets them, then you do indeed get dizziness and nausea.

But dizziness is often a symptom of panic and has no actual physical cause at all. Does your GP know about your anxiety? If you'd had an ear infection so severe to have caused labyrinthisis, even as long as 5 years ago, then I'm sure you would have noticed! Are you telling your GP everything about your state of mind as plainly as you can?

Daph - Have had labyrinthitis before and its exactly the same. Doc is well aware of my anxiety and has also given me Ads for it before. I never took these because i feel that it is the actual dizziness that makes me anxious (hope that makes sense). Its not a spinning dizziness more of an unbalanced feeling. It could well be anxiety thats setting it off but i've had other symptoms too like sinus pressure - who knows???? Hopefully someone will shortly because its an absolute nightmare. I just want to feel healthy!

Hi everyone (Nbg here)
Sorry I havent posted for a bit and sorry to hear some of you are having a crap time atm.

Just reading some of the posts and its unreal just how many of us are suffering

Today I've had my 35 week check up with my midwife. I contacted her last week as I was due to go to a consultant appt at the hospital for them to ok my home birth. I explained to her that I was having panic attacks and becoming really anxious just thinking about going into the hospital and luckily she spoke to them and they have said there is no need to go. PHEW!
Anyway we had an extra long chat today (she does my visits at home because I cant face going into the doctors).
She asked for my permission to speak to the Phyciatrist at the hospital who specialises with pregnant women and get some advice or maybe get him to call me.
I felt quite relieved after I had spoke to her and she said she thinks that its something like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder thats making me like I am. Tbh I'm quite inclined to agree with her because its been an event that has made me have the panic/anxiety attacks.
She also mentioned about going on some more stronger tablets once baby arrives to try and give me a bigger boost.

Everything she said was so on the ball. Things like its handicapping youre life and debilitating you.
It really is!
Its ridiculous that I have a panic attack about having to take my 4 year old to pre school which is only around the corner but yet I can't help it and feel like I have no control.
It sucks.

Anyway sorry for rambling.
Hope everyone perks up soon.

Hi everyone just got back from holiday I've trying to catch up with all the posts but I haven't had time to read them all - sorry.

Nearly everybody seems to be having a bad time at the moment which makes me feel sad so I want to send you all a really big hug.

Nbg having a panic attack isn't ridculous, I was really stressed this morning because I felt I had so much to do washing etc after my holiday but off course the more I panicked the less I achieved so I gave up and came on mumsnet for a while I have a social phobia and used to panic about putting my hand out for change in shops its hard trying to find the right money all the time. Also it really does help when you find a health care worker you can talk to and who is helpful and understanding I had a fantastic mental health nurse for many years.

Being on holiday and walks on a breezy Norfolk beach gave me time to think I realised that I get that really tense feeling in the neck and head that somebody described (sorry I can't remember who) I also worked out when it happens most - when I'm in the company of my mother!(our relationship is a long and complicated story) luckily I'm venturing out more now so do not have to see her so often. Sadly I'm registered disabled so need her help sometimes.

It's also really hard to work out when physical symptoms are linked to a physical illness or are as a result of mental health problems IYSWIM. I suffer from a lot of ill-health so I might start to keep a diary of my physical symptoms and how I'm feeling emotionally, I'll give anything ago.

The one thing we do have in common is our kindness, support and wanting to help each other which IMO makes everyone pretty special.

And Nbg I can ramble as well!

I think a diary is a great idea MA.

I mentioned very early on in the thread that it was my CBT lady that pointed out my ahces and pains were due to the anxiety and that it was how I held myself.
I never noticed before then but when you feel really anxious and panicky, its hard to relax yourself.

Hello all

Sorry I have been really neglecting this thread, I have been having a tough week with it all (seems like most of us have!)

MorgansA, how was your holiday?

NBG, your midwife sounds lovely, I really hope she comes through with something for you , are you really looking forward to the HB?

When I went to the GP's and she gave me the script for the fluoxetine, she also referred me to the mental health team. Well I got a letter off them yesterday, containing a card for the samaritains, a brochure for the library and a leaflet about our local councilling place . TBH the local place looked really good but I then realised that it is the same place where the town toddler group gossip works as a receptionist and there is no way on earth I am going there whilst she works there. I know they are not allowed to discuss things etc but she is just the last person on earth I would trust with any personal info so I really am not sure what I am going to do.

Hope we all had good weekends

Hi ibroughtcake

I've read through some of the previous posts and you sound happier or at least less stressed than you did last week I hope this is the case. Things sounded bad last thursday can I give you a belated hug.

I was going to bed but thought I would drop by to see if anyone had posted. Noticed it was quiet today so was hoping everybody was busy and relatively ok. Thanks for asking about the holiday it was brilliant, for the majority of the time it was just me and my nephew, his 14 we get on really well no arguing or shouting I had loads of time to relax and think when he was on his PSP, its just other family members who seem to really irritate, annoy and stress me out.

I can really understand your reluctance to go somewhere if you think somebody might gossip, I'm sure she wouldn't but sadly there is still a stigma attached to mental illness, got really annoyed with my dad today as he keeps referring to the mental health dept at our local hospital as 'the nutty place' had to remind him that I frequent that nutty place! and have done so for 10 years and have been on AD'S for that length of time but finally I seem to be going in the right direction.

I find it hard to make decisions at the best of times let alone when I'm stressed perhaps you should give it ago if rumours do start to circulate you will know whose started them. Were all here to support and help you take that first step. Just think of all of us standing behind you if she gives you any funny looks.

Just realised what the time is no wonder my eyes hurt, sorry I haven't been much help will be back tomorrow.

Hi All

I've noticed this thread has gone quiet I hope this is because everybody is having a fairly good period and are out and about enjoying themselves and not because everybody is feel so low they have lost the strength and energy to post. Me I'm somewhere in the middle the good things are cancelling out the cr*p.

Take care and postive vibes to you all x

Last week was OK - things seemed much easier at work with just me and no 'politics' to worry about. Saw the counsellor and she is OK but early days yet - she seems to think I need to be more assertive but I am not sure how that will help overall

I think tho she has helped me realise that a big part of the problem is the job at the moment - I knew when I took it (so I could be part time) that it would not satisfy me for ever but I have been OK coasting til now. Coasting is tricky now tho as there are all sorts of problems the team have to work through, and I would love to take the bull by the horns and really make a difference but I feel i am being stopped and frustrated by the endless need to reach agreement with everyone, most of whom do not agree to the changes that are needed anyway, and are quite forceful about it, so i tend to get sucked in .... Finding another job part time is not possible tho atm (I have looked)

I did actually take a sickie this week - OK I had a cold but I could (and should) have gone in - but could not face it once the others were back from holiday. Have to go in tomorrow tho and not looking forward to it

Probably why I am on here now - in the misplaced hope that if i don't go to bed tomorrow will not come ....