How much longer do I have to feel like this?

[Depressedmum32]

Can some one give some advice please, I just recently gave birth to my 4th baby and for the rist month I felt fantastic and was flying round doing everything. Iwas so wired that one night I was cleaning my windows at 5am after feeding ds!!!Then I started to feel ill, like I had the flu, kept feelomg dizzy and this went on for couple of weeks before I collapsed with chest pain and was rushed to hospital. Was told I had a blood clot on my ling and spent the whole weekend feeling hysterical, had to stop breastfeeding as I was on blood thinners. Cried cos I missed my children so much and thought I was going to die. Then they told me I had no blood clot just pleurisy and sent me home. I first felt relieved to be home and with children but after a couple of days I started to have Panic attacks for no reason, I was just suddenly get this rush of fear and feel terrified. Then I started waking up in the night with my heart racing hystarical with fear, so eventually I was on;y getting 1 hours sleep a night. During the day I was sitting around thinking of all the things I could drop dead from and then 2 weeks ago I suddenly felt wierd, A sense of unreality which terrified me even more. Kept going to the docs where they diagnosed pnd and prescribed ad's. Referred to cpn but no appt till oct 26th. Refused to take the ad's as I was so scared of all the possible awful side effects and convinced myself I just needed to sleep.Dh took a few days off work and I did feel a bit better after getting some rest in the day, but sleep at night. non existant. When I did go to sleep, I kept having awful dreams and waking up. Hv came on monday and said I had to take the cipralex just to lift me enough to the things that would make me feel better.Started on 5mg as Isuffer from panic and immediately the panic became worse, so the second night could only get to sleep with the aid of sleeping tabs. I am now day 4 and I feel wrethched, nauseas and panicky, still feel dazed as though I am not really here and that frightens me. Didnt feel depressed until I started to feel wierd, its the wierdness the t depresses me, is this normal pnd? I just want to feel human again.

Thought of going back to doc two weeks ago, but then I had a few good days so i didn't! think half term got to me this week as well as friend trouble! don't know if you can become resistant to ads over time does anyone know?(also cos i've been out of sink over the hols i've forgot to take the darn things on a few occasions!)

Hi MWNN. Sounds like it could well be the combined effect of missing ADs and the stress of having the kids underfoot all day that could have been getting you down then, so I guess see how it goes once the kids are back at school, and you've got back taking them regularly. I know that when I skip a Prozac, I defo feel it the next day or so.

Re:tolerance to ADs. I have only seen anecdotal mentions of that - people on websites saying that things stop working so well after a few years, which isn't necessarily reliable evidence. I have asked my psychiatrist about that isse, as it was suggested that I continue on Prozac for 18 months to 2 years after I feel completely symptom free of OCD, to prevent relapse and he didn't think there would be any problem with them stopping working - he said that they didn't "work that way".

Mumwithnoname

Don't you think though that half term and school holidays are a lot harder. I found the summer holidays a real struggle keeping the children entertained and apart was really hard and very tiring.

We dont answer the door after 7 as they are usually older ones who arenry really dresses up who usually want money as opposed to sweets.

We have only had one call so far tonight and, having talked about it beforehand with the children, we all just ignored the call. Hopefully that will be it this year.

Mumwithnoname so sorry you are feeling so down, I dont know how to help, just send me another email and let me know you are ok.

Third night with no sleep. Got work this am.Sent my friends an E card saying "sorry" last night. Got an E.mail back off one saying "I will not commuicate by txt email or e card only in person"
I was only trying to say "sorry"! It feels like shes ripped the card up and sent it back.

Thats not a very nice thing to do when all you were trying to do was a pologise.Are they really worth the hassle? sorry.

yes.

MWNN - Two options...

Either these "friends" have turned their back on you in your hour of need and are not worth having - dump them and move on

OR

These friends don't want to try and mend their relationship with you via texts and emails - you've said they both wanted to talk to you, but you couldn't face them.

Have they turned their back on you, or do they just want to TALK?

Texting, emailing, sending ecards and these types of forums all have their place - it's fab to have anonymous friends that don't really know us and share our woes with. Trouble is, sometimes we need to face our firends in person, and thats when it's hard.

You said you deleted their phone nos from your mobile - why then did you email? Sure it's easier than face to face, but it's the same as texting.

Hope you're ok girl - and you can either bin them and move on or face up to them and heal the hurt.

Good Luck

Pat

SC, Lonelymum and MWNN, I just wanted to let you know that although I have not posted on this thread (which I feel guilty about!) due to you already having had such marvellous advice and support and me not having anything to add, I have been keeping track and wanted to add my sympathies and support. xxx

Thanks Miam

Thank you too miam

mwnn I think patDUK has given you some excellent advice there girl.

Thanks patduk, been talking to one of them for the last 1 1/2 hours. Not sure anything is sorted but i do feel a bit better. got a lot off our chests! Not seen my other friend as she's working, but I'll try and see her tonight. Just don't like difficult conversations and I don't think I'm gonna like what she has to say!! But don't like feeling like this either!

Let her say it and have a good cry at what she says (in front of her) and I am sure if she is any sort of friend, she will feel sorry for what has happened and mend some bridges.

Crap,! crap! crap! sinus infection, chest infection, no sleep, cant breathe.anti biotics, allergic to them, phone docs no appt till thurs, no anti biotics till thursday, ugly rash all over.in agony, face feels like it might explode, as does chest.THE END!![ANGRY]

Totally exhausted. not slept much for last 5 nights. had the biggest headach in the world since weekend. feel pretty crap!! But now talking to both friends though nothing resolved. Hopfully sort it out on Friday though I think I'm gonna come off worse!! One good thing- lost weight and can get in the jeans that were too tight last week!!
(oh and saved a fortune in text bill!!)

Hi SC, just wondered how you were doing, and to let you know I was thinking of you (god I sound just like a greeting card there!)

Thanks, mts, im not having a good time at the mo, felt utterly desperate and actually suicidal, felt immense fear and not sleeping at all.Spoke to the gp today who has put me back on the tranqs(just for a week he said) and sleeping tabs (again for a week) he reckons that it could just be that my sleep patterns been dissrupted and that hopefully I will sleep better and then in turn I will feel a bit more human.Feel dreadful this evening and to make matters worse, one of my neighbours is now letting off fireworks at 10.30!! how bloody inconsiderate, ds2 who is only 3 has now woken up from the noise, ill be glad when this weekend is all over.

SC - sorry your having such a crap time right now - and the same to mumwithnoname. I hope you start to feel much better soon.

Fire works still going off here too!!
Feling better today, Had long chat to friends this morning (along with coffee and cake!), GPs changing my ADs to Venlafaxine, but got to come off the cipralex this week, have a break for 4 days, then start new tabs on 1/2 dose for a week b4 coming upto full strength- seems a long time off- prob be totally insane by then (plus dh working away for the next few weeks!!)

its best to start on a low dose mwnn because that particular ad is a lot stronger, than cipralex, but is more effective at treating more serious cases of depression and anxiety.I think cipralex is one of the few ads that cause tha awful panic symptons initially, you may not get it this time with the new ad

Thanks SC. Feeling a bit wobbly here ATM!

sorry to hear that