Sertraline buddy required!!!

[Vml12345]

I’m in day 2 of taking sertraline and could really do with some support as feel horrible 😕

Day 1. Let's see..

Good luck AnotherUserName

I’m really really struggling today. I just need a way out from this pain. I need the medicine to start working because I can’t go on like this. I’m sorry to moan. I’m just feeling so broken and don’t know how to fix myself.

@TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart I think you have to keep reminding yourself that this spike is temporary and it'll pass. Keep pushing through it, you'll get there

I’m trying so hard to remember that Climb. It’s so so hard. A lot of my issues revolve around wanting to confess something to my husband from many many years ago, but if I do, it could end our marriage. I posted about my situation on here before but had them deleted for privacy reasons and the response was that I need to not confess and let it go but I’m feeling destroyed by it at the moment. I actually hate myself for the person I used to be. I wish so badly I could turn back the clock but obviously I can’t. The worst thing is, I have to look my husband in the eye each day, kiss him, hug him and with this overwhelming guilt and shame that I feel. My GP knows everything and after doing some quizzes it said I had moderate depression and moderate anxiety. I am awaiting counselling and am in desperate need of these tablets to help in the mean time but today I am back at breaking point.

TrySleeping It's very cruel what our minds do to us isn't it. I don't know your situation but I think it sounds like you've beaten yourself up more than enough. Medication is a good step forwards for your MH but try to remember "this too shall pass" as my grandmother would say.

Thank you so much for replying climb. I feel so alone with all of this, but a little less so because of the support I have had on here. It means so much to me right now. I will try to remember that “this too shall pass”. I so need to believe that right now.

How much of a bummer is it though that you can feel in the pits of utter despair, anxious as hell and depressed beyond all description and the best drug actually often makes you feel worse before it makes you feel better!

So true Regretna. I just can’t wait for the “feel better” bit!

It will get better @TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart. I actually feel a bit better today so there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not getting too complacent as tomorrow may not be as good! Please try not to beAt yourself up And be kinder to yourself. It’s sounds to me like no good can come of telling your husband. Try and put it behind you and let it go xxxx

Thank you so much for your kind reply VML. I’m doing my very best to find another way through this than confessing. I have carried this secret for a very long time and although I’ve felt horrendous guilt over it, it’s never been so excruciating as it is now and I know that’s because of the state of my mental health. I also know that if I did confess now, I would absolutely not be able to handle the fall out, so I’m trying to power through. I’m just hoping that the benefits of the sertraline will come soon 🤞🏼 I’m so glad you’re side effects have lessened today. I hope tomorrow is another good day for you 🙏🏼

Been on 200mg for years, you learn to deal with the side effects...I just keep reminding myself that although I still feel suicidal those tablets help even me out a little bit and the side effects are worth it.

Deadhead so you still experience the side effects after years on them? What side effects do you experience, if you don’t mind me asking?

@TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart
Heart palpitations at times
Occasional nausea
Always hungry
Lethargic
Brain fog

Still manage to hold down a full time job with two kids. Just take lots of other meds to counteract...antacid, paracetamol and try not to eat very much.

@TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart
Tbh am so used to the side effects, they are just 'normal'

So the floaty feeling went away the later it got to be replaced by horrible anxious thoughts again. Does anyone else feel scared this won't work? I just feel my anxiety is so self defeating.

On my day 3. Worst out of the 3 days so far. Woke up every hour during the night. Had to drag myself out of bed for the kids although feeling absolutely exhausted. The only way to keep myself to feel slightly better is hiding in the corner of the sofa and curling myself into a ball. I am clenching my fists so tight, my palms are full of nail marks.
I am trying to behave as normal as possible in front of the kids.
Does anyone had it as bad? Is this normal for the side effect as it did say might increase the symptom before it gets better.
Sorry to moan. I am just feeling so weak and not like my usual self.

Hi I posted this on another thread and I put this here in case is of use to the people who have started Sertraline later than me:

"So it's day 35 and thought I'd do some comparisons about how I felt at the beginning and feel now - in no particular order:

SLEEP
Beginning: terrible dreams, insomnia, very difficult to get out of bed, sleep as escape.
Now: less anxious dreams, less insomnia, still difficult to get out of bed, still sleep as escape.

EXERCISE/PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
Beginning: erratic, unmotivated.
Now: very little because always tired. Mindset slightly changing.

ANXIETY SYMPTOMS
Beginning: very severe at all times.
Now: fluctuating. Some happy moment not anxious at all! smile

DEPRESSED FEELINGS
Beginning: Always there, no joy in anything, suicidal ideations.
Now: Feeling kind of 'grey', no suicidal ideation, some moments of levity.

ATTITUDE TOWARDS FOOD
Beginning and now: kinda rubbish really. Filling up with food, just wanting sugars. I am starting to want to change this.

SIDE EFFECTS OF MEDICATION
Beginning: headache, feeling spaced out and super tired. Clenchy jaw.
Now: occasional headache, tiredness is starting to subside, a bit of clenchy jaw.

MORNINGS
Beginning: dreadful. Hating the idea of a new day.
Now: dreadful but I can take it.

Actually the last sentence resumes perfectly how I felt at the beginning of the thread and how I feel now - I have occasional moments when i still feel dreadful, and some happy precious seconds when I feel happy and in control (very very few but they are there) but in general now my attitude is: "it's dreadful but I can take it"."

Hi again,
I just wanted to add two things:

1 - I have read the whole thread - you are all awesome! :) You are taking action to change a hard situation and doing well.

2 -A pp said: "My libido has gone entirely. I have no ability (or desire) to orgasm." Sadly I am in full agreement with this :( but as I am less anxious sex is comforting and quite emotional/memorable anyway. Its a different kind of experience. Sorry if it's TMI.

Thank you for your really useful insight. It’s so reassuring to have support from everyone. Struggling to get out of bed today after a relatively good day yesterday! Day 8 so a whole week done which I’m proud of but boy it’s been tough xx

@jellybeanpeach! It’s perfectly normal! I felt like that on day 2 and gradually it’s got better! It’s so hard keeping from your children isn’t it!! Keep going and try and distract yourself! These support groups are getting me through! Sending you big hugs xx

Thanks Monna, that’s all really helpful. I’m glad things are improving for you.

Deadhead I’m sorry you still experience some side effects but I’m glad you are feeling some benefit also.

VML I hope today picks up for you. Well done on getting through the 1st week and sticking with it!

Jellybean - I really sympathise. Stick with it though, hopefully the side effects will wear off soon.

Day 5 for me - I say day 5, but I don’t take my tablets until 6pm so I’ve actually only taken 4 so far. I’m still struggling today but I know it’s early days so I’m pushing forward as best I can.

I agree with all the posters saying how hard it is to act normal around the kids. I think we just need to get this first couple of weeks under our belts and things will get a lot easier.

Some new side effects for me. My muscles all feel really tight and sore and I’m getting the tense jaw that a few others have mentioned. Luckily my kids are going to be away a bit over the weekend so I’m hoping to have a restful couple of days.

My muscles have been twitching in both legs when I’m lying down and my shoulders feel tight! Hope you have a restful few days xxxxx

Thanks VML. I hope you manage to relax a little this weekend too ☺️