They are sectioning me

[Chocolatethief]

Basically the title I got admitted last night by the police was assessed and I agreed to go into hospital so waiting for a bed but I dont want to. Today i asked to go home as I feel fine but they wont let me they have all agreed I have to go in and are waiting for a hed to be available to place me on the section so I'm stuck in a room with 2 members off staff and cant go anywhere I hate it. The staff are nice but I'm taking up space I dont need to be here.

Got meds and taken them, still sat outside I've not done much but being outside and just talking is helping, medication has helped the migraine thankfully, might need a chat later everything seems impossible at night, cant wait till I get to the point where I can manage it

But you’re doing everything you need in order to get to that point. You should be so proud. Hope the migraine stays away. They’re bloody horrid.

Brilliant, I’m glad that’s sorted for you! Sometimes doing nothing much is just what is needed and is even better outdoors. Nice and private in a garden too! I’m glad the migraine is easing off, bloody awful those things! I’ll be around all evening if you do want to chat. You will get there, I can tell. You are strong to be doing what you’re doing! It might not feel like it the whole time (or any time sometimes) but you’re very strong! It will come in time. Things just take time. What are you having/had for tea? I got a small chips and a jumbo sausage from the chippy!

Hey Chocolate, well done, you’re doing great! Sitting outside is the best! When I was really poorly with depression I spent hours sitting in my friend’s garden, burning my skin to fuck, but it helped massively! Yes, one should be careful, but a bit of UV is actually very good for us, in my opinion (and the opinion of my ex’s dermatologist, who was a well regarded dr and surely knew what he was talking about). Is it sunny where you are now? And have you got fags? I chain-smoked through my worst stages of depression, and tho it’s not fashionable to admit it, that also helped loads!!!! X

I really hope I do been trying for years to get better with no luck so should be due a breakthrough soon I hope, not sure about tea dont know what i fancy

Sometimes it takes years... and that’s ok! Your life and your journey is unique to you. There are no should be’s it’s just what it is. Life can be shit for the most mentally well people at times but when you struggle with your mental health it’s like everything is amplified 100 fold! (At least) but it does get better and usually the best thing for it is time and determination. My god I must sound like a right preachy fuck! (Excuse my french... I wonder who ever decided that swearing sounded like french?!) but I just feel your silent pain. It hurts being where you’re at right now, I know. But even if all you do right now is get by then you’re doing an amazing job! What have you got in? Or how about a takeaway? Sometimes when I feel rubbish I just have dessert for tea!

Not read all the thread but need to add and tell you that sunshine and exercise is definitely a tonic and helpful. Try a nice walk somewhere ( can a friend go too?) enjoy the flowers and listen to the birds. The exercise and sunshine stimulates feel good hormones. I’ve been there and can vouch it really helps.

Realistically it's going to take years still and then there are always going to be blips, I just need to be able to get myself to that point but not rush myself as that wont help I put to much pressure on myself to be ok so when I'm not I see it as a failure. Not sure about the French bit I am curious as I swear loads sometimes it's the only way to say what you mean. I remember when I was in hospital seeing the consultant about leave and he asked why I was sectioned I said because I'm a twat and got told off for saying it. Not sure if I fancy takeaway I dont fancy anything really but know i need to eat as if i dont that wont help.

It might do but that’s ok, I understand how you feel about trying to rush but it really doesn’t work. It works when it’s time to work and in he meantime all we can do is our best. Sometimes it might seem to ourselves that we’re not even doing that but it will be the best you can do at the time. We tend to spend allot of thought on how things should be or how other people expect things to be but there really is no should or expectation other than our own reality. Haha that made me laugh, I can only imagine the reaction! But you sound far from a twat! I’m really enjoying talking to you! I get it but yes you really should eat something. I’d go for literally whatever you fancy right now, you deserve it after the week you’ve had.

Dessert for tea sounds like a great idea! I’ve struggled for many years. Finally found medication that has worked. It’s been a long road. And I may still have the odd blip but that’s what it’ll be. Not a full scale crash!

I feel like my best isn't good enough and that everyone is disappointed in me probably because I'm disappointed in myself for feeling like this which only makes things worse and think it's going to be something savoury looked on just eat and kinda fancy everything, I'm terrible at making decisions want a chip butty but need to find somewhere that does it

I’ve just had a chicken Katsu curry! Yum! Hang in there OP, your not a disappointment at all. Keep up the hard work man. What about a good book to take your mind off things of an evening? xxx

Those people who are “disappointed” in you need to take a good hard look at themselves.

You are doing some things to take care of yourself (including fresh air & socializing & getting meds), and are aware of some needs (like food) and challenges (like night) that are coming soon.
You can do this.

Your best is more than good enough! Agree with cakeandchanpagne, I know it’s hard but really try to just forget about those people for now and focus on you and only concern yourself with people who are supportive and encouraging and accept you for you. We all go through hard times, different reasons but we all go through them and I hope you can give yourself (loads of) credit for both helping yourself and asking for help, that’s huge! Mmm chip butty sounds good, have you found anywhere that does it yet? Are you still with friends or are you at home now?

@Chocolatethief I remember your other thread, though I don't think I commented. Just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of people who want to help in a teeny tiny way to show you aren't totally alone.

I wonder if it would help as a plan next time to call your mum or friend when you are dithering over whether to call an ambulance/the crisis team, and they can help you make that decision or advocate for you when you don't feel able to do so for yourself. If it's a fight to get the help, then someone on your side advocating for you can make all the difference when you feel you don't have any fight left in you.

Did you find somewhere to get your chip butty? I highly recommend cheesy chips when you need comfort carbs. Very moreish!

Found somewhere so hopefully it wont be to long got chips and beans as well so looking forward to it, just had a memory on facebook which means its 4 years ago that something else bad has happened but I will probably stay at my friends tonight which is probably for the best. I sometimes do rung other people but then I worry them and they normally tell me to ring for help anyway so I try to do that and not have them worry and obviously if its 2 in the morning they are asleep and dont answer

Now I want cheesy chips!
You can’t do better than your best. And that IS enough. I have awful eczema that’s flaring up today. I don’t feel disappointed in myself or guilty for having that. Why should I feel like that about my MH issues? Heaven knows if we could just try really hard and that would magically make us all better then we’d do it in a heartbeat!

Sounds deliciously comforting! It’s a rubbish time to be reminded of bad things, please don’t let it set you back. It’s easy to overthink and go back to a bad time but if you feel yourself slipping into that then you have this thread or your friend you’re staying with. Sounds like you’ve made a great decision there to stay by the way. It’s hard. I wouldn’t worry about worrying people, (easier said than done I know). They worry because they care I bet.
Wolfiefan love your words.

I get that it's hard to ask for help, especially if you feel like a burden to people and don't want to worry or inconvenience them. But truly, those close to you love and care for you, and I bet they'd rather you called at 2am asking for help than not call and suffer/get more ill/hurt yourself.

Chips and beans are the dogs bollocks! Glad you are staying with your friend. Good call.

just had a memory on facebook which means its 4 years ago that something else bad has happened

Can you delete that memory on Facebook, so next year it won't be a trigger for you?

As soon as I saw it I figured out how to make sure it doesn't come up again thankfully. Tea was delicious now at my friends neighbour to check how she is just trying to stay busy although all I want to do is lie in bed and cry but i know it's not the wisest thing to do

I didn’t like the Facebook memories feature. Sometimes I did but most of the time I didn’t. I deleted my account around 3 months ago now though, don’t regret it a bit! Great idea to just delete the not so good memories though! I’m glad you enjoyed your tea! I’ve eaten a whole box of malteesers this evening too, cold has gotten worse and can barely breathe through my nose! How’s yours? It’s ok to cry. (Maybe not if you’re bunged up, it will make it worse!) It’s ok to feel. It’s just the spiralling down with it that’s not good. Can you open up and truly talk to your friend about how you’ve been feeling?

You can lie in bed and cry if you want! But do it at your friend’s house - someone who can take care of you. We all need to accept help from others sometimes, and when we are strong enough then we give it back. When I was unwell I lived in a succession of friends’ houses for weeks! (It was great.....) AND, it may not take years to get better. When you get on the right meds, and they start to alter your brain chemistry, you might find yourself feeling quite a lot better, quite quickly..... Meanwhile, stay strong and be proud of yourself. You sound lovely, and you are doing so great. Xx

I went home couldn't deal with being at hers or around people

Time for bed soon? I’m trying to summon the energy to go up.