I neglect myself and it's showing

[inmyownworldagain]

OK this may be long.

I will just write a list of what I avoid

• I cut my own hair - too anxious and paranoid for hairdressers
• I don't brush my teeth often - once every 2 weeks ish
• Same underwear for days - have no nice knickers
• Stay in same clothes/pjs for as many days as possible
• Don't brush hair, even after a shower
• Hair lives in messy bun - half of the time greasy roots
• no makeup daily - for occasions, eyes, lips and cheeks
• Most clothes from charity shops - not much style sense
• I don't fuel my body well with food - nothing or everything
• Take 4 different medications - one of which I take too much

I do have a partner and children, I feel a let down as a Mother and a Woman. I can't give myself basic needs, I don't put myself last I'm not even on this list.

How do I start fixing these to start with...

I know, I sound disgusting.

Thank you smurfy! That's very helpful.

@Batsypatsy I did drink a fair amount of decaff when pregnant and probably should revert to 2 cups of decaff a day and 2 cups regular. And try to drink more water. There are days when I drink nothing without caffeine in it .

I hate flossing. No time in the mornings as 3 kids to get ready and out and the last thing I can face doing in the evenings. Even if I started off doing it once a week then that would be a decent effort at the moment.

@Batsypatsy how is your feline patient this evening?

smurfy he's fine! He had to rub around my legs a lot to "own" me again. He's eaten and had a drink and is now curled up on my lap. Thanks for asking

They didn't have to take any teeth out, it was just cleaning which kept the cost down thank goodness.

hello everyone,

I am a bit behind on the thread but will try and make time to catch up properly over the weekend. I didn't want you to all think I'd abandoned you.

I have done pretty well at showering and cleaning teeth. In the last two weeks, I’ve missed one day of showering and two days of teeth cleaning. That’s a record for me.

I have also been on the exercise bike 5 times (which could be better but isn’t a bad start!) Plus I’ve walked my dogs every day and sometimes they have been for two walks in one day!

It all seems to have helped because my period is due any minute and I haven’t had any insane mood swings for the first time in months.

STILL NO NEW KNICKERS but… I did treat myself to a new (second hand) dress of eBay. It’s the same as one I wear a lot and love, but in a different print so I know it’ll fit!

It’s not all good though… the house is totally neglected (though I did a bit last week) and my procrastination/motivation with work is totally off the scale again after getting back on track last week. I’m so behind again right now. I am a freelancer so my own boss. Considering sacking myself and hire somebody else! LOL!

Hope everyone is doing well x x

Evening everyone, hope today has been kind.

Just a quick one today, I'm in my quiet mood so I'll read through tomorrow.

I'm so tired and everyone is doing my head in. I haven't done much today, still cleaned teeth, brushed hair then clean clothes and knickers so that's something I guess. Oh I flossed a bit too as my teeth were annoying me.

Is it bedtime yet..

Feel free to share happy things, have a moan or rant

Evening all :)
I made a huge effort and went to pilates today. I do feel much better for it though.
Hope you’re all well and settling in for a quiet evening

Hello lovely people.

I'm rarely moved to post but this thread is amazing. Well done everyone who brushed their teeth or hair or wore clean clothes today. You deserve it.

Do you know makedaisychain and her #boringselfcare ? It's a great series of cartoons. In this one she talks about teeth brushing and underneath it are over 100 comments of people discussing ways they motivate themselves to do it some are really creative. There are loads more drawings in the series, have a look. You don't have to have an account to look at the picture
https://www.instagram.com/p/BoXBYzajW4B/?utmsource=iggsharesheet&igshid=48vw2z6z767p

I can't believe how well OP and others are doing.

Thanks for that penny, I've just followed the account

Hi everyone, how are you all today? I managed to shower and wash my hair last night, get dressed and brush my teeth this morning and go to craft group, where I had a great time. Afterwards went out for fish and chips with dp.

Sorry, off to bed, but will read your messages tomorrow. In the morning I'm going to have my ears microsuctioned, as I feel I'm going deaf in one ear, hoping it's just wax!

Good night everyone

Lovely to see so many new posts, haven't caught up fully (busy day, get me!) but it's great how this thread is evolving

Good day for me, kitchen is almost done just painting to be done on Monday and the workmen are finished. Went out when they'd gone for the day and bought lovely new flooring as the finishing touch and then went for a meal on the way home so feel almost like a normal person tonight

Have barely slept all week though and have the opportunity for a lie in tomorrow so praying I sleep tonight, about 12 hours would be perfect

I hope everyone is doing ok?
I’ve had a hectic couple of days. I didn’t get dressed or have a wash etc yesterday, but I did give the place a really good clean through. I’m determined to keep my home nice at least.
I’ve got up early this morning and got dressed, been putting off brushing my teeth all morning but I’m definitely going to put my phone down and go do them now.

Hiding, I'm glad your kitchen is nearly finished, that must be a relief.

I didn't sleep at all last night, thinning about lots of things.

But I'm dressed, I've washed and cleaned my teeth and I've been out briefly, but it's raining now so I've hurried home!

The washing machine is on because I stripped the beds, so not bad. I'll probably have a quick nap at some point though.

Pennysaves, thank you for sharing that link, it's unreal how alone I felt a few weeks ago to now.

Looks like a few of us have been out for a meal, I did too it was great not coming back to washing up or having to cook. Really enjoyed the time I was out of the house too.

Everything is clean on and brushed today. It feels a bit like an extra chore doing self care but I am loving the results. My DH has even commented that I look or smell nice so that's helped feeling noticed.

Happy International Womens Day to all you super women! We've got this, even on a bad day we come back fighting!

Did you end up brushing Mother? Don't forget your body is your home too. If that makes sense.

So pleased the kitchen is nearly ready for you hiding, you've dealt with it well after you were so worried.

Check you all out going to crafts and exercising! That's awesome! I'm going to see what is going on around me, I would love a couple of hours with other adults talking about adult things. The kids have better social life than I do!

We are getting a take away tonight and I'm thinking of jumping in the bath (well gently stepping in, jumping would be dangerous haha). I also plan on colouring my hair at some point this weekend. I still can't bring myself to go to a hairdresser but it's not a major thing, I can think about that another time.

I'll have to go to town this weekend as one of the kids needs new school shoes. I think I might look at getting some new clothes. Getting dressed every day has made me see I don't have many clothes I want to wear.

Hope everyone enjoys their Friday night x

Clean knickers and clothes on, teeth cleaned. Not brushed my hair. I don't really care today.

I'm so tried of parenting, I know that sounds bad but it's day in day out. I feel guilty if I leave them so I don't go out. My youngest is 10 and I've still managed to not make any sort of life for myself.

inmyown .. It's hard isn't it? Relentless. My dd is 17 so I've regained some independence but don't know what to do with it because I've no friends to do stuff with

I'm not up yet .. dd is sat on my bed, we've just ordered and eaten junk food that was delivered and we're chatting. A lazy day seems like a good idea. I've tried hard this week so am going to allow myself a slobby day.

Just an update. You don't have to read it, haha ... it just helps me to write it all out!

So, I didn't do anything today. Plan was to sew something, do something fun, or tackle a project that I've meant to start for ages. Be productive. Not waste this lovely, precious, magical, free day. But it didn't happen.

I get overwhelmed with choice (brain full of a million possibilities), i think it's called choice paralysis. I don't know what I should do first (which is the best choice out of them all? Almost like wanting to get the most bang for my buck. If I'm going to do something, it should be the BEST use of my time, have wonderful repercussions, win me some kind of medal and initiate world peace) and I overthink EVERYTHING.

I then get anxiety about wasting time and not doing anything. So I say fuck it and self sabotage and DO NOTHING. Easier just to do nothing.

So, I've watched tv most the day 🤪 oh well. I'm not too mad. I also read a book for an hour so that's good.

Magical day is nearly over. And I have to clean up tomorrow. I have a houseguest for 2-3 weeks from Monday.

I did shower though. Getting really good at showering. No teeth today tho, hmm.

I got caught up on ALL my work Thursday-Friday. I even sat up until midnight doing it. And got up at 7am to do some more. If that's when I can feel motivated, get the work done and enter "the zone", I think it's fine.

The exercise bike has fallen by the wayside though, but I do want to start again soon.

@inmyownworldagain I love how your DH commented, that's so positive xxx

I have just read the whole thread @inmyownworldagain and would like to give you my support as well.
Well done and keep it up. Please do check your teeth with the dentist.
You DH behaved like a dick now he started to worry why you smell and look nice. Hahaha. Keep it up, OP.

OP, this is such a lovely thread, I have a lump in my throat reading it. Lots of similar issues here. I spend most of my life in my PJs. And I have one of those massive cardigans too. If I have to get dressed for work I can do it but unless there's an outside reason to get started for the day I just don;t.

This thread is inspirational though. I've just read the whole thing through. It's lovely to follow people making the good changes they need and want.

Hope you don;t mind, but I'm going to make a list here of stuff I need to do but have been putitng off:
Dentist - got a reminder the other day
Optician - can;t see through these glasses anymore and put it off just because of the effort of going in...
Smear test - it's about 20 years overdue. I'm very scared. To the point of phobia. I shocked a friend by telling her I'd rather have cancer than a smear test. Stupid thing to say but I do think it every time I get a reminder.
Haircut. Hair is shapeless and lank and horrible right now.

I’ve putting off the hygienist. 🙄
train, one thing at a time :) Your list ideea is very good.
I would start with the thing I dread most, but that’s how I am wired. Or you could start with the least overwhelming task out of the lot.
I can join you in the dentist ‘challenge’, I need to see the hygienist.

you know, flylady is a bit lalalandish, but she’s got a point about getting dressed to the shoes in the morning. Thinking back, she did save my sanity.
inmyworld, go today! Last week I went into town to have my eyebrows done and I popped into this random shop for something to do. I have found an absolute gem, a pair of culottes that feel so so comfortable. My ‘audience’ was not sure about them, normally that would make me reconsider, but I just went: you know what, they feel so comfortable, I love the feel of them, they stay.
I know what you mean about being tired of parenting. I’m a single mum, and while she’s lovely most of the time, it can be very hard.
batsy, hope you enjoyed your take away :)
wildflower, wow, that’s impressive, lots of stuff done. You were very good to take one day off to just rest. Guests for 2-3 weeks?!!! Woooow! How do you feel about it?

I am at that point in my life where I realise I haven’t got long being ‘muuuuuum!!!!’, I’m using the free time I have rediscovering who I am. Being lonely scares me a bit, I have no family here apart from her.

Oh God fencing, I honestly don't know if I can start with the smear test. the thought of it makes me nauseous and faint, just typing the words 'smear test. I've only had two in my life, one aged twenty which was excruciatingly painful and one prior to IVF treatment which I don;t really remember because there was so much poking around during IVF treatment it desensitises you to the whole ordeal. But it does feel like an ordeal.
Think I'll go for the dentist instead.

Oops - highlighted God instead of Fencing there.

You are all amazing!

You explained it so well Wild, I'm not very good at expressing myself in words but overwhelmed covers it, it's all or nothing. 2-3 weeks.. I hope you at least like your guest haha.

Batsy that sounds like a lovely slobby day! I have no idea what I'll do when I'm not a Mum first. Scary and exciting.

Trainsong Hello! Lists are good. Have you told your doctor about your fears? I partly go for a smear because of Jade Goody, I will never forget her dying on Mother's Day. My last one was dodgy too. I wish there was another way it puts so many off.
You just reminded me about my cardigan, I've not worn it for ages!
You could go to the opticians and look at the glasses without an appointment, I feel so much pressure trying to choose them. It will be like a new world when you can see better.

Oooo culottes, very nice. I think I'll be brave and wear my shoes that my audience don't like haha.

I've got loads to do today since I did nothing yesterday, I did stop having sugar in my tea so I'm half blaming that for being crabby.

Must buy school shoes...