I neglect myself and it's showing

[inmyownworldagain]

OK this may be long.

I will just write a list of what I avoid

• I cut my own hair - too anxious and paranoid for hairdressers
• I don't brush my teeth often - once every 2 weeks ish
• Same underwear for days - have no nice knickers
• Stay in same clothes/pjs for as many days as possible
• Don't brush hair, even after a shower
• Hair lives in messy bun - half of the time greasy roots
• no makeup daily - for occasions, eyes, lips and cheeks
• Most clothes from charity shops - not much style sense
• I don't fuel my body well with food - nothing or everything
• Take 4 different medications - one of which I take too much

I do have a partner and children, I feel a let down as a Mother and a Woman. I can't give myself basic needs, I don't put myself last I'm not even on this list.

How do I start fixing these to start with...

I know, I sound disgusting.

I'm ok thank you. Went to have my hair cut (mum came with me..... I'm 43 ffs).... First time in about a year. I feel all crawly now, I had to take diazepam this morning before going. But I did it. So despite no shower for a week and having worn the same socks two days running, I feel I have achieved today.

Bless you. How did you cut your hair?
You telling me about the socks for 2 days running reminded me: I used to lay out the clothes the night before. Why/when did I stop?
I’ll do that tomorrow for Monday!

Well done Mama.

I'm on a roll .. I've managed to clean the wash basin and toilet in the advert break

@ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay I need a new instructor, I let mine down the last few times because anxiety got the better of me. I can drive, just can't seem to manage 40 minutes to prove it! I need to do it or else I've wasted money and time.

I'm so stressed about next week, I have to do an extra day at work as things weren't working last week. My Mum will want me to go round as god forbid I take the kids to her house in the holidays, the kids are off school on Tuesday, I cancelled my friend coming this week so she'll want to come next week and I'm supposed to be going to see someone else. Oh and my Daughter has 2 appointments in one day. Plus work. I can't breathe.

My house is a mess, I just want everyone to leave so I can get it back to the way I like it. The in laws are coming today too. Breath in, breath out.

Super impressed with you lot, it's like a hug round my heart when I read we are all helping each other. Such a kind bunch even though we can be mean to ourselves! Xx

I've got NEW clean knickers on, clean clothes, hair brushed and teeth. I need a bath tonight but so does everyone else so I normally use that as an excuse not to bother.

In laws aren't coming now but I've cleaned the bathroom, toilet, our room, one of the kids rooms, one load of pots, one load of washing and cleaned kitchen sides. The floors can wait until everyone buggers off tomorrow back to work and school.

How's everyone doing today?

I'm frantically packing the kitchen up and trying to figure out where the fuck everything's going to go! Have still managed to wash, brush my teeth and put on clean clothes though so pretty happy with that

Well done Hiding, so this time next week you should have a new kitchen?

I've sorted my knickers, socks and bras out. Then pj's, leggings and jeans, tops and jumpers. Got a big bag ready for charity now.

Yep, been a long time coming, old one is falling apart. Then we've got a week to get cleaned up after that and then they come to fit new windows and doors! I do find the upheaval hard but it will be lovely when it's all done.

I've been decluttering for a while, I'd let the house get in a real state so it was long overdue. We're not exactly hoarders but both me and DH tend to hang on to things longer than we should so it had really built up, I shifted 30 black bags of random shit out of one room alone

Sounds like you have a busy week ahead, I felt knackered just reading about it Don't be afraid to come and vent if you need to, pretty sure you won't be the only one

Well done inmyown and hiding

I managed to get up and shower and get dressed. I haven't cleaned my teeth yet though.

Still three boxes ticked off though Batsy, up, showered and dressed is good enough! How's your week looking, less chaotic than ours I hope?

Thanks I'm taking the cat to the vet tomorrow to have his teeth looked at and to book him in for descaling etc. Wednesday I've a visit from the mh cpn and a doctor's appointment. Thursday I might go to the craft group.

Definitely go to craft group Batsy, be something to look forward to I haven't slept, knew I wouldn't, too anxious about kitchen being done, stupid On the bright side I've kept busy through the night and everything is totally ready. I've had a bath (at 4am!) and all my animals are fed and watered, I actually feel prepared which is most unlike me Just hope the workmen are nice, the grumpy ones really put me on edge.

Oh no Hiding I totally understand, I hate having work men in, I get very anxious about talking to strangers. Hope it all goes well.

It's not too bad, there's only the plumber here now and he's a nice guy. We had a nasty aggravated burglary a few years back and I really don't do well with strange men in my house now, this guy is really softly spoken though and that helps, weirdly DH will be home in a couple of hours so I've done the bulk of it now, am so tired I can't see straight though, desperately need a nap!

Well I'm jealous you both have pets haha we aren't allowed animals, part of our tenancy. I would love to have a cat

I slept terribly, can't function today. House is clean from yesterday but I haven't done anything for myself yet, I didn't get a bath last night either. Sunshine is back though.

I've brushed hair and teeth, clean knickers and clothes. I'm just not feeling it.

I just want to cry.

inmyown hugs.. I'm feeling the same today. Do something nice if you can tho take your mind off it a little.

I'm up and dressed but haven't cleaned my teeth. I'm going to the vets in a min and stupid as it sounds I'm going to chew chewing gum instead because I just can't be bothered.

Be good to yourself everyone

Hi Op, just read your thread and your last post. I'm not in the same place really, but I do get that self care is an effort, and frequently don't get my hair done or whatever - my problem is having, or rather not making, time for myself because I am so busy running around after everyone else! Anyway, I didn't come in to post about me, I just wanted to say well done & don't let a less than perfect day send you back to square one! Keep going, you have done so well & you are so worth it!! You sound lovely!

Can I join please, Im struggling with self care as well. It can be weeks between brushing teeth (I know its disgusting), I do change knickers sometimes a couple of times a day, I struggle with what I call people clothes,

I am about to dye my hair though as it is really annoying me so wish me luck - going from white, gray, salt pepper look with red/pink ends growing out to cosmic blue which is really deep almost black with a deep blue tinge in the right light

@Batsy I used chewing gum too, made me hope at least my breath wasn't stinky. Hope your cat has lovely teeth after today well done on getting up and dressed again today!

@arseabouttit thank you for your kind comment, It's so easy to put yourself last isn't it.

Welcome @smurfy2015 wow your hair plans sounds amazing! I'd love to have mine changing colour at the ends but I'm scared to have it bleached again.
I've gone from not brushing like you to once a day, what stops you? Is it the feeling of brushing, punishing yourself or just in the routine of not doing it?

Hope you sneaked in a nap hiding.

I called the doctors today to see about getting higher dosage of Sertraline. Hopefully I'll get a call back tomorrow and not have to make an appointment. I'm at work tomorrow so I'm going to force myself to go to my dentist which is NEXT DOOR to my work. I have no excuse really do I.

Off for a bath at half past once the youngest is in bed.

I had my root canal today, which went as well as it could go, with a lovely, gentle dentist. But I kind of feel as if I exist on two different levels. On one level I was just getting on with it, and then getting on with all the other parts of my day. But on another level I was in bits and needed to curl up and have a good cry.

I think it takes so much energy to push through each day that I’m wary of showing myself any bit of kindness in case I just fall apart. I’m not quite expressing that right.

I’m tired tonight. Dh had a big business lunch and didn’t want dinner so I haven’t bothered cooking dinner for myself (the dc had theirs earlier). Another way to neglect myself 🙄 I’m just too tired to bother, even though I’m hungry and I’m aware that I’m being ridiculous. My mouth is aching from the work done earlier and I literally cannot bear to go near my teeth tonight.

Hidingtonothing glad to hear your plumber was a nice one. And so sorry to hear about your burglary experience. That sounds terrifying.

smurfy2015 your hair sounds amazing. I wish I could be that brave!

inmyownworldagain I hope you manage to get your bath. I usually plan to have one when the dc are settled but end up too tired when I’ve got them down.
Hope you sleep better tonight. It makes such a difference to get a decent sleep.hoping for some myself !

Ouch, the root canel does not sound fun, just had a google. I'm impressed you went though. I get what you mean about getting on with it, it's like moving around doing things but not being present, just existing I suppose. You can cross the dentist off your list of things to do now and you got through it without curling up or crying. Well done.

You've just reminded me I've not eaten today, I made the kids tea but I haven't made DH and myself tea...he's not mentioned it either.

I've had my bath, shaved, washed and brushed hair, moisturised my face (first time this year) also cut my toe nails and painted them!

Think I might try one of the many herbal sleep tablets I have tonight, worth trying again I suppose.

Hope we all sleep tonight then we can kick arse tomorrow!

Hi smurfy sorry you're struggling too. Ooh that hair dye sounds lovely! Wish I was brave enough.

inmyown it was just a check up today, I'm taking my cat in Wednesday for his dental work.

Well done beguiled, going to the dentist. I go to pieces - which is why I should start brushing my teeth more

I made a cottage pie tonight after not bothering yesterday and ending up with a rubbish ready meal from tesco. I'm trying to eat more fruit and veg but find it difficult.

I'm determined to wash my hair tomorrow!

Hope we all sleep well tonight. inmyown let us know how you get on with the herbal sleep tablets?

Morning everyone. Hope you slept well. The sun is shining!

I've been awake all night again. All the herbal sleep tablets did was give me wind haha the tablets smell awful too, like poop.

I could happily fall asleep now but that's a no. I wish I liked coffee. I have loads to do today but I'm just going to take one thing at a time, most important is not falling asleep at work and nipping into dentist.

Least I have plenty of time to get ready this morning off to go wake the kids and hope they forget it's pancake day!

I haven't slept at all either. I'm going to make sure dd gets off to school on time, then will try and get an hour or so.

I don't have much on today, just need to go to the post office. I'm also hoping dd will forget it's pancake day!