Can too many awful things happening be too much

[colouringinpro]

I don't know how to keep going. The last six years have been a nightmare. OH very depressed, company I co-built taken apart after sale. OH manic. DD badly injured. OH very determined suicide attempt. Sectioned. Sad kids. Buried father-in-law. OH major psychotic episode. Sectioned. Post traumatic stress. Sad kids. Dd and Ds under CAMHS. Buried mother-in-law. Felt like we were climbing out if the abyss and then very recently OH brother took his own life Everyone devastated and for me also a Load of bad memories and emotions. And I'm struggling to think straight. And i spent today counting down the minutes. I just want to go to sleep

Crumbs, what a lot to go through. Absolutely the cumulative effect of lots of things can be too much. I am not surprised you are struggling to think straight. How are you feeling this morning?

Thank you sooo much. I am feeling rather spaced and numb and stuck

Yeah, I'm not surprised TBH. What are your plans for today?

I've gone into work. Took a chunk of time off last week and know I wouldn't be popular if I did again. Not a demanding job, keeping v low profile, not functioning

How was work? Sending

Wow you have an awful lot going on! How are you feeling tonight? I hope your ok x

Yes traumatic and stressful things can become too much!
How are you feeling in yourself ?

Thank you xxx

Work was a huge slog. I had a counselling appointment after which meant i could express some of how I feel. She recommended I take more time off work as I was so exhausted. I came home and had dinner and lay down, and then decided I may as well go to bed. 7pm. Dozed til 10 then slept til now.

Feel a bit less exhausted, but very fragile if that makes any sense. And pretty low. My head feels like it's exploding and I just want to be somewhere quiet.

Sorry to hear that you are going through so many difficulties. I find that in times like this, we all have them at some stage, it is important to focus on clearing one thing up at a time. Life has a way of hitting you full in the face with many issues when one is least capable of dealing with it.

Personally, I would focus on one thing at a time and get it resolved. Life and loved ones, albeit possibly seen as a flippant comment, is the only one we have. I wish you the best in getting things sorted.

What you say makes a lot of sense to me. Is there any way you can carve out time somewhere quiet in the coming hours and days? It depends your job and home life but you might be able to find a small gap somewhere.

Trouble is with severe ongoing mental illness adam is that it's not resolvable.

Two nice women at work have said that I look like I've hit a wall. Totally exhausted and one even said fragile. My boss said I look like he feels (unhelpful). Left a message for my GP to call but she's not in today.

I can't imagine how exhausted you must be colouringinpro, you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and more. Honestly, take some time off. It doesn't make anything go away but it's one less thing on your plate and gives you some time to catch up with yourself. If you can't get peace at home then don't be afraid to find somewhere to have some quiet time, whether that's a library or a quiet cafe, just somewhere that you can look after you and not everybody else for once.

Hi OP,
I'm so sorry and anyone would struggle and feel shattered by that. You are coping well to still be at work.
You mention OH. Are you married? Would it help if you and the kids if he moved out for a while? He may need space too. Just a suggestion as it doesn't seem viable to keep going without any change.
Best of luck

Thanks erinaceus and bombadier I'm struggling to find time for me. Usually it's this and Fri but dd has inset day, Friday df birthday said I'd take him out to lunch as he is f/t carer. Maybe Saturday if kids will go to OH. Sunday big family birthday get together, then work on Monday again

Diana we separated after his major psychotic episode and time in hospital winter 2016/2017. Had to ring 999 when he was pay notice as v scary. Was v abusive when sectioned and still v ill. Had been together 25 years. Co-parenting, he lives nearby.

Home now. Kids with OH til 8.30. Quiet.crying.

When he was psychotic not pay notice?????

In a previous life I was a really smart, creative, funny woman. His and his family's mental illness has nearly destroyed me.

In a previous life I was a really smart, creative, funny woman. His and his family's mental illness has nearly destroyed me.

No wonder you are exhausted.... we all have illnesses and bereavement to cope with but when people we love take their own lives it's even harder.

I have recently contacted sobs...survivors of bereavement by suicide ... and found talking to them by email means I know when I can there's group meets about 30 miles for me I can go to. I work over 60 hours a week and my day off is spent with an elderly relative but I do know that when I need them there is help there from people who have the experience. Maybe you can try them uksobs.org
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I might have missed it but have you been diagnosed with depression.... some help in that department might give you back a little more energy to deal with the other stuff.

It's hard but life can be really shitty can't it . I try really hard... and sometimes it's flipping hard... to pick on anything at all that is good going on.... birthday, wedding.... or even just having a " me day" and shut out the shitty stuff even just for a few hours. In my darkest days I couldn't but the more I did it the better I got at it. ...planning one this weekend. 😉

Oh forgot.... here's some

Thanks Tazzle.

Glad you're finding sobs helpful. I think with me Bil's suicide is only one aspect of how bad I am feeling now.

OH has had many mental health crises, and since 2011 these have been a biennual worsening occurrence 2012/13 major depression followed by mania, 2014/5 very determined suicide attempt. After winter 2016/7 psychotic abusive nightmare he finally got a Bipolar diagnosis and different medication. This year he has been much more well, if still struggling with acute anxiety. So we were being to be hopeful of a more positive future.

Then his dm died in the summer and worries about this winter grew. Now his Bil has died by suicide. (His df also made a suicide attempt when OH was a young adult).

It is never going to end. If it's not OH it's another family member.

And my poor dcs have been through all this and more

Oh you sound like you’ve had a horrific time. I’m sorry that don’t have anything very useful to say except to offer a virtual hug and send you some virtual support and strength.

❤ wobble.

Anyone around?

DCs back.

Ds crying for his uncle