Can too many awful things happening be too much

[colouringinpro]

I don't know how to keep going. The last six years have been a nightmare. OH very depressed, company I co-built taken apart after sale. OH manic. DD badly injured. OH very determined suicide attempt. Sectioned. Sad kids. Buried father-in-law. OH major psychotic episode. Sectioned. Post traumatic stress. Sad kids. Dd and Ds under CAMHS. Buried mother-in-law. Felt like we were climbing out if the abyss and then very recently OH brother took his own life Everyone devastated and for me also a Load of bad memories and emotions. And I'm struggling to think straight. And i spent today counting down the minutes. I just want to go to sleep

Are you doing anything together over the weekend?

My children are still young DS 6, DD 4 and they are looking forward to a film night tomorrow. A reward for DS going to sleep without me in the room. x

Got fab day planned Wednesday next week. Weekend they're at their dad's which dd is not so happy about.

Yeah we like a film night too... dd only just gone up. Very very sad and really doesnt want to go to school tomorrow

Ahhh, enjoy Wednesday. You are so sensitive to your children’s feelings, they are lucky to have such a lovely mum. x

My dear ds is in hospital with lower body paralysis poss Guillain Barre syndrome it's a total nightmare

Christ! I’m so sorry. To me, that the prospect of GB is frightening. Sending hugs colouringinpro to you and your family.

Thanks xxxx

Now not sure if it's that, may be an issue with his spine. Neither are good

I would imagine GB would not be diagnosed lightly, although my only knowledge of it comes from reading a novel about it, so might not reflect the true clinical situation. Mostly I am concerned about you though, and feel as if MN hugs are all I have to offer.

MN hugs are really nice hugs

I'm now wondering if it's psychosomatic- real symptoms, but psych cause. Consultant agreed it's poss given inconsistent GB presentation. Poor sensitive boy has had so much to deal with, I think this could be a sign that it's too much.

I am praying I haven't made things worse in some way.

Oh and dd got a high functioning autism diagnosis today. My poor kids

Oh colouring, I don’t know what to say. Just massive hugs. Is your DP coming to dc’s appointments? I hope you have someone in RL who can give you a proper squeeze. x

Thanks xxx should have a friend and kids visiting today which will be v nice.

Bloody hell its a good job you don’t duff from bad anxiety that would really floor you

Your amazing to have that much strength

Thanks granada I am on an Anti D which I think must help!!!

Think it's all started to catch up with me

And since all this.

My ds tried to get up one afternoon and his legs gave way under him. They were useless and he couldn't feel anything but pain. We've been in hospital for a week, home and now back in. It's apparently caused by all the trauma and sadness he's experienced in his life. Its horrendous. He needs significant therapy and daily physio. My head is exploding. It make sense, I feel like I'm going mad after all this shit. His brain has melted. I can't keep doing this.

I'm so sorry how awful how is he doing?

You need many hugs and some pampering. So many bad things happening in a short space of time. You're an amazing strong woman and will come through but you do need some help for yourself.

I'm so sorry about your son, bless his heart.

Thank you rachel x

He does have some movement now after the second hospital stay, but we're back home with almost no support and last time that meant he went totally back to the beginning. Frightening.