To think this was unbelievably cruel and evil?

[PleaseMakeTheNightmaresStop]

having flashbacks, again. So panicked. So stupid it was 7 years ago.
How can they do this to me but they are ok, they get to have good lives!
I was suicidal and struggling, undiagnosed autism. Id been very supportive to a friend. The whole group cut me out, with no warning. they stood in the way so I couodnt have dinner with them, and called the police to take me away. i trusted them. it keeps going through ym head

How could they be so evil? One of them used to always get horribly pissed and disrupt parties and be violent to people, and she never got exlcuded. why did I? how could they? WHy do they get to be happy but i struggle so much, cos im so worthless and terrified of everyone cos i cant trust anyone, im so scared

Hi OP. I'm not sure what to say to you because I really don't know what to do.
The thing is as you identify that crisis teams aim to manage crises, in 'normal' people they are short term. Your crisis is long term whether due to autism or not isn't usual for mental health services.
I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm sorry I can't give you an answer but hope that you feel better soon.

I do believe if you can name your trauma-not to us, to yourself-then you can start to heal. But you have to be ready to do it.
One day things will be different, I have been where you are, I'm now content and well. I promise it will change x

Hi OP are you taking medication that the GP or MHS have offered?

Mila Your crisis is long term whether due to autism or not isn't usual for mental health services.

Then it's not a "crisis" is it? It's my life. It's what I have to live through every day, despite trying so hard to make things better. What do I do, how do I get support, if when I try people keep sending me to non-existent services? I dont need to be told services are shit, the people who expect me to go and "get help" are the ones who can't seem to grasp that services wont help.

I don't think I can heal from the trauma because I don't have any support. I've kept on starting to heal them something awful happens and adds to the trauma, and I never have close friends who care so it's always really hard. Im worthless and unwanted, thats whats wrong with me.

I have autism too, diagnosed aged 40. I completely understand the trauma of being cut out by people without understanding why and the shock when it happens. Some of the posters here clearly have no understanding of female autism and that you ant just get over this or fix yourself. I don't know the answer but I hope things improve for you