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Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

987 replies

Fairydust26 · 12/03/2018 20:56

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

OP posts:
Wingingit1985 · 03/10/2018 17:57

@Stilllivinginazoo thank you so much for listening. I'm sat here in floods of tears I just wish I could forgive myself easily for my mistakes. I'm like this with everything not just driving related. It wasn't even a near miss as the other driver pre-empted my idiotic move and slowed down so we came nowhere close to hitting each other, I just feel so awful that I did that. It was super busy and I thought they were taking the first exit and turning left due to their lane positioning, but they were going straight on...I just judged the situation poorly. I hate myself and keep thinking 'what if' like you say.

Thanks for replying

Going to try and have a good chat with my husband about how I'm feeling. He looks at me sometimes like I'm crazy

Wingingit1985 · 03/10/2018 17:59

@Iblinkedandiamold thanks for sharing your experience. Glad to hear you got over the near misses. It gives me hope.

Sorry to hear about your nightmare. They can feel so real sometimes and can leave you shaken for the whole day afterwards. Sending a hug 💐

Menalight · 03/10/2018 18:05

Do any of you suffer from a burning, gnawing sensation under the ribs on your side when you feel very anxious or feel your anxiety levels have gone up a notch?

Iblinkedandiamold · 03/10/2018 18:23

Menalight I don't. I just go cold, feel like I have a lump of ice in my stomach, my skin also feels hyper sensitive like I'm in danger.

Menalight · 03/10/2018 18:28

Iblink - That sounds equally awful. How do you get rid of it?

Iblinkedandiamold · 03/10/2018 18:40

I'm on medication which helps. Also when I feel it creeping up on me I go for a walk with heads phones and Avicii blasting out.

Menalight · 03/10/2018 18:44

Sorry, what i meant was how do you deal with the side effects of anxiety, the feeling of cold, the lump ice feeling in the stomach. How long does it last for? does it all just go by itself once you've calmed down .

Iblinkedandiamold · 03/10/2018 19:10

Walking helps, deep breathing, if I am at home I put on meditation music or do some excersise. Yes it passes once I clam down but I can feel a bit unsettled/not right for a few days. Right now, even on meds, I am feeling a little unbalanced and tired.

Menalight · 03/10/2018 19:56

Exercise goes a long way, longer than we imagine sometimes. I hope you feel better soon and have a good rest where possible.

Wingingit1985 · 04/10/2018 13:09

Hope everyone is coping today? Had a better day driving wise today. It's my due date with baby #3 and didn't want to sit here wallowing so whilst my eldest is at school I took my boy to soft play and out for lunch. The drive was ok and I only let the intrusive, negative thoughts invade my headspace for a short while once I got to my destination. I really can't wait to start CBT and possibly meds too to beat this for good!

I've been on sertraline before for anxiety so I'm guessing that's where the GP might want to start this time around. Has anyone had any success with other anxiety meds? I've been prescribed citalopram before and that actually made me worse and virtually suicidal so had to come off that. Scary stuff!

Iblinkedandiamold · 04/10/2018 14:35

I'm on sertraline now and I seem to be doing okay. I was in a very very dark place before Christmas so anything is an improvement on that.
Also going through a bit of a hard time with my DS(19) and I seem to be coping okay. I mean I have good days and bad days but on my bad days I am still able to get up and out of the house.

Stilllivinginazoo · 04/10/2018 14:56

I had reverse of you winging it citalopram was great,sertraline drive me to the edge!!
Only reason stop meds were blinding(literally)migraines

allthingsred · 04/10/2018 16:16

Feeling overwhelmed right now. Had a shadow shift for new job today. It's completely different to what I've done before lots to learn & new challenges. Scared it's actually going to be too much.
Plus I had it all planned out in my head. I am/ have been the main person with the kids making sure their at school on time homework done all fed.
With this new job I was told ( by office collegue not manager) that the start time was flexible. It ment that I could still make sure my kids were out the door on time for school. Now confirmed that it's not. The manager had said I would have to be in office for 8. Which means that I will have to ask my partner of he can start his job 20 mins later
I'm freaking out, I know it's stupid but it worked in my head without my partner being affected by my change.
I feel really selfish as the job I'm leaving gave me perfect hours & he wasn't affected. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop crying & on way home I had a panic attack. It's 30 minutes difference & I've always prioritised my kids & partners job has always come before mine.
It's too much. Ive made a mistake & I don't know what to do

Stilllivinginazoo · 04/10/2018 16:20

I'm sorry you are having such an awful day all things at what point did it go from flexible to not

allthingsred · 04/10/2018 16:42

At the moment as they aren't fully staffed so it's office hours.(9-5) Once i start they will be able to keep office open longer (8-8)
They offered me the job at part time hours but I said no. As it wasn't finacially viable for me to drop in wages.
It's my own fault. It was the lady that has been running the office on her own that said I could start at 8.30/9 not the actual boss.
I think it's I'm leaving a job that I'm extremely good at & comfortable in because I didn't want to still be doing it when I'm 60.
So Its scary & new & cause it's so out of my control & comfort zone & i hate putting on my partner when it's for my own selfish reasons & It's all real as it's the 1st day. I'm finding it hard to breathe.

BippityBoppity87 · 04/10/2018 22:51

I've had a bad day today. Long story short, I had a customer shouting at me saying that I had ignored them. I hadn't. Didn't even see them. They were just really horrible and I could feel myself shaking and it took me a while to calm down. Still feeling crap about it, even though I have no idea what I did wrong.

It's just made me feel what's the point and made my intrusive thoughts come creeping back in again, wondering if I should just end it as I'm obviously a horrible human being.

Stilllivinginazoo · 05/10/2018 05:44

bippity don't let one rude,horrible person bring you to such a dark place.one of the hardest things is being kind to ourselves.we are only human.we can't see/do/be everything all of the time.whatever upset the customer is guess started way earlier in the day and they were already upset/frustrated and it's just unfortunate they released their frustration at you.no one liked being shouted at.sending hugsFlowers

AllI hope you were able to get thru things.i think you are very brave,not selfish,for trying something new.has your partner called you out over the hours,or are you assuming they are unhappy about be asked to step in with the kids?like bippity I'd also advise be kind to yourself.you wouldn't talk to a friend with this problem so harshly so why is it ok to talk to yourself like it?!sending hugs for you toFlowers

Iblinkedandiamold · 05/10/2018 07:23

Flowers bippity so sorry you had to go through that. I know how it feels.

Wingingit last night I went to boot camp and drove into a railing outside it. The corner was sharper than I thought. Grin

Allthings Good luck with the change. It is very daunting. Last year I left a job I'd been in for 10 years and took up the same job in a different place. Didn't like it there so in August I started another job and I love it, so far anyway.

BippityBoppity87 · 05/10/2018 11:18

Thank you Stilllivinginazoo and Iblinkedandiamold I'm feeling a lot better today after my CBT session.

I'm not as bothered about it today. I hate having such intense feelings sometimes, I wish I wasn't like that. It's almost like black and white thinking and no in between.

Apparently I have adjustment disorder, although looking at the symptoms I don't think that's what it is as often my mood doesn't reflect life events or changes at all. It's almost like a switch in my brain sometimes and depending on what mood I'm in, I will react differently depending on how my mood is, if that makes sense?

Does anyone have any experience with this?

Iblinkedandiamold · 05/10/2018 12:30

I get horrible feelings too, like if a parent calls the preschool I straight away think "what did I do?"

Wingingit1985 · 05/10/2018 13:13

Stillliving It's funny how it's not a one size fits all solution with meds isnt it, but glad you have found something that works for you. Yeah I remember the fuzzy migraine feeling for the first few weeks from last time. Not looking forward to that :(

allthings hope you are feeling better today. It's understandable you feel on edge with the last minute changes in terms of job flexibility etc that kind of thing normally throws me too. What does your DP say about the whole thing? Is he able to start later in order to do the school run? I had a similar situation with my work and my DH had to alter his hours slightly and his employers were totally fine with it. Please don't feel selfish though, you've done nothing wrong at all!

Bippity I'm so sorry you were spoken to so rudely. When I previously worked in customer services I used to get myself in a right state if a customer was rude. There are a lot of selfish, entitled people out there who don't care about other peoples feelings, believing the world revolves around them. People without anxiety issues will often say things like you need to develop a thicker skin if only it were that simple. Fingers crossed you'll never see that person again so try to put it behind you and carry on doing your job as you would normally.

Iblinked stupid railing haha! I normally overcompensate when pulling into driveways, reversing, parking etc. and if my DH is in the car with me he laughs because he says i have a ridiculous amount of room whereas i often feel i'm too close to other cars. It's just confidence and me getting used to my new car I think which is much bigger than the one i learned in. I LOVE the independence that passing my test has brought and i'm still driving daily, but i have at least 1 negative intrusive thought after every journey. Today's being the following.... when travelling to the supermarket I overtook a tractor on route. It was a long straight bit of road with good visibility...I could see oncoming traffic in the distance, but it was far enough away for me to overtake safely and get back onto my side without causing any issue. I completed the overtake, but then immediately afterwards kept feeling the need to glance in my rearview to check the tractor and traffic behind were unharmed. It's so odd...It's like i'm decisive, I know what i'm doing, everyone reassures me i'm a good driver, but i cant stop questioning myself. I've also googled on my phone since returning home to check there have been no accidents on that same road today. Honestly it's ridiculous. OCD is just horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Hope everyone else is ok today x

allthingsred · 05/10/2018 14:55

Thank you.
My partner is really relaxed & said he will be able to adjust his hours. He can't understand how I get myself so worked up. I've tried explaning it's how anxiety works. It paralyses me until I'm through it.
I haven't had a panic attack for a while so was really distressing.
I'm better today though thank you got kind words

BippityBoppity87 · 05/10/2018 15:23

Thank you Wingingit1985 I'm fine now. I wouldn't recognise them if I passed them in the street. But anxiety is horrible. Unless you suffer with it yourself, I don't think some people see that it is an illness. I wish I had a thicker skin, I didn't over think and have mini panic attacks even over minor things. I don't want to live like that.

All I can do is manage the symptoms and learn to live with who I am.

vikingwoman · 05/10/2018 16:16

Menalight I get that pain just as you describe. My doctor says it's stress pain. Mines on my left rib.

May I join? Anxiety sufferer since my teens. First tried meds and therapy at 25. Had a good 10 - 12 years med free, until late 30s. On and off ADs until age 46, when gp recommended I stay on them long-term. Now 51 and on effexor.

HelloSmile

Menalight · 05/10/2018 17:16

vikingwoman Hello Smile

Thank god i'm not alone. its awful isn't it? its exactly as described,mines just under my left rib. When it gets really bad it spreads round to my back a bit. I've had it for years but never really gave it much thought but its getting worse. I thought perhaps its an ulcer but i've had tests done and they can't find anything wrong. What do you do to relieve it?