Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

[Fairydust26]

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

Thanks for your response eri.. Mini pill is working OK but there are risks of long term medical contraception. Also, I forgot it one evening, thought I wouldn't as I take quetiapine once a day but dh got me my q when I was feeding, I remembered the pill in the morning. I'm still too sore for sex anyway. I'm most worried about the actual procedure, which seems rediculous as I've just given birth. Is it painful? What are the pros and cons would you say.
@iblink handhold to get you through this week, I hope you settle into your new job well.

Hi Embracethechaos,

The actually fitting is about the same level of pain and discomfort as a smear test, so if you've had one of those you'll know what you're in for. If you decide to have one fitted, ask around to try to find a professional who has a lot of experience fitting them. I had mine fitted by a GP who was experienced in fitting them, but I have heard that a sexual health clinic can be a good option too.

For me the pros are that it is reliable (no pills to forget, lasts for 5-10 years depending on the coil, and the failure rate is tiny) and it was important to me not to take hormonal contraception for a few reasons.

The cons are that the copper coil can make periods heavier and more painful. I never had menstrual cramps before I had mine fitted and afterwards the cramps only lasted one day each cycle but they were disabling if I didn't have ibuprofen to hand. The cramps are worst in the first year after fitting and then they settle down (no idea how that works). I've actually had two copper coils, one for five years and then another one for another five years. When I had the first one fitted my periods also got longer by one day, and that has stayed the case. They were always quite heavy and I am quite anaemia-prone so that isn't great. The other con is that there is a risk that, if you do get pregnant on the copper coil, the probability of the pregnancy being ectopic is higher than in normal pregnancy. Therefore it is good to know the symptoms of ectopic pregnancy if you have a copper coil. The absolute risk of it happening is tiny, but ectopic pregnancy is quite dangerous I think.

There is the option of a coil that contains hormones which can make your periods lighter or even stop completely but I didn't want that, I prefer the copper one. Overall I am very happy with my choice.

Hope that helps!

Thanks! That's really helpful. My midwife did say there was the hormonal and non hormonal one. Lots to think about, I know a bit about eptopic pregnancies. If you don't mind me asking, why don't you want hormones? Was it due to anxiety?

No, no, not at all. I had anorexia in my teens and for me my periods stop quickly, before I am terribly underweight according to BMI or whatever. I wanted to keep my natural cycles because it's sort of a barometer of my health. That was ten years ago and that might not be the motivation for me now but at the time I was not that long recovered after a long time being underweight.

It wasn't the anxiety at all. I think on that score it's a case of weighing up the pros and cons of all the methods and deciding the least worst for your situation.

Thanks, the mini pill has not effected my mood, in fact I have felt more stable since being on it but that may be coincidence as baby is now a couple of months and doing well and the newborn stage was intense, with lots of appointments.

Embrace c ant believe the baby is a couple of months already. I still think she's a week or two old. I am glad you're doing so well.
Had a great day today. I almost feel normal. This place is so much better then my last place. I love it..so far anyway.

I got really upset last night after bathing baby in the hour before I took my meds as she was really crying and I was crying too. Due to my drugs I've not got very emotional and my bond was being assessed daily when I had a newborn which was counterproductive as I overthought it. I didn't mind holding baby for gp check and her jabs, didn't upset me, might be because part of my job involves asking parents to hold upset children still for xrays and it's what I wrote my dissertation on. What upset me was long term crying and baby not latching and me feeling like a terrible mum for not wanting to hold and breastfeed my baby in the first week as it was very hot and painful. My dh did most of the nappy changes and care as I didn't feel strong or confident enough to even carry her. Then dd fell asleep earlier than normal when she did finally feed and me and dh had an hour or so to ourselves and I slept really well, had an OK morning, did some gardening but accidentally rolled the compost onto and snapped a newly planted lupin before planting out the Heather we bought then going inside to find out my dh wanted to do that. We're about to go out for a picnic lunch now the weather nice and dd is having a sleepy day.

It’s been a little while how’s everyone doing?😊

Embrace. Hope you are feeling better today.
Fairy how are you doing?
I am okay, loving my new job. I think I might have already said that.
My DS has his going away party tonight. One of my friends is coming with me.
Anxious about that and my flippin neighbour isn't helping me.
I want to put up small corner shelves in my bathroom. Tried to stick them up with various stuff without drilling.
It didn't work, so this evening around 1pm I started to drill. Walls like paper so 4 holes approximately 5 mins, maybe less.
I had only just started when neighbour rings doorbell. I didn't answer because I knew she was going to complain about the house, she's done it before, again when I'd only just started.
I can then hear her complaining to other neighbours about me.
So I went out and bought crisps. I have plenty of chocolate.

Good thanks, I'm a little worried about my babies panic, it's a new behaviour and happens most often when, I lie her on a nappy mat/ she's naked on her back. It only happens for a few seconds and is worse than a cry, it's an extented startle reflex and her arms are flung to the side, eyes wide, flickering and quiet grunting. The noise woke me up this morning, I'm wandering if she's having nightmares. Mil said she'll be happier when she can roll over... She is keen to get moving, and she is very interested in food, loves watching us eat, esspesally crunchy food and copies our chewing action. So I'm obsessed with my baby which is good as I was worried I'd be bored. Next week is the test as I'll be alone with bub but my brother is visiting Tuesday and there's lots of groups things for babies in my area.

Iblink, glad your loving your job, I love mine... As well as hate it, so I'm glad I'm on maternity leave but keep promising colleges I'd visit with baby so that's something else to do.

Never ending list to do with a baby. Hope you get to the bottom of her unusual reactions. I mean unusual for her.
Baby groups are great. I made some great friends at ones I did. We were the ones feeding our children sugar and watching them eat dirt.
Sometimes I wish I was back there again, then one of children at work has a massive melt down and suddenly I'm so glad my DS is grown up.

Haha, dd gets very excited about chocolate and crisps... Might be something to do with my pregnancy diet... My dh did a cute thing. She can't coordinate her limbs and he put a minstrel in her hand and said she's got a present for me. She was nearly 7 pounds at 36 weeks so she was nicely fattened up for Birth.

Aww that is sweet. My DS was diagnoised with ADHD. He quiet hyper from birth nearly. My mum said it was because I was addicted to coke a cola while pregnant. All the sugar and caffeine. She may have had a point. I was addicted even after he was born. I was buying 2 lts of coke everyday. Had to seem myself off when it started going up in price and I couldn't afford my habit. 😁

Erg, I can't stand coke. My brother has undiagnosed behavioral issues, he had psychiatrists asses him in reception but he is clever and behaved well when watched. My mum does not have a sweet tooth and eats it healthily, she was very strict with sugar for us and my brother was not allowed any e numbers esspesally coke. It really helped his behaviour. On a school trip he was so embasing. He was in year 8 and I was in year 11 we were going to aachen with the whole school. He was slurring his words and behaving drunk carrying a 6 pack of coke. He also was so fascinated by history he asked the teacher a continuous stream of questions during the tour when everyone else wanted it finished so we could shop. That was quite sweat, and the teacher doing the tour was lovely but had to tell him to stop asking questions after a bit. so diet is important but its not your fault he's got adhd, there's so many different factors and coke might have been one. There banning energy drinks for children. My mil drank loads of coffee and coke when she was pregnant with dh, he didn't sleep well as a baby hut developed really quickly doesn't have behavioural issues.

Funny thing your talking about coke before I saw your posts the first thing I thought when I woke up this morning is I really fancy a nice glass of ice cold coke..and I never drink fizzy drinks😆. iblinked glad to hear the new jobs going well for you I’m doing okay thank you😊.

So far I’ve spent my day baking and cleaning the house too to bottom which has kept my mind busy going to reward myself with a nice bubble bath this eve! Hope you all have a peaceful sunday😊.

I'm sorry to just jump in. I've been doing well with my anxiety with EMDR, but we're going on holiday in the morning and I'm feeling the knot in my chest / churning tummy

Hello cerbside prophet, hope your enjoying your holiday now I assume you've done the travelling. I enjoyed my day at home with baby, missed my dh but he had a bad day and our baby had just woke up when he came in and was in a bad mood for him. We argued later in the evening then made up before sleep but I'm not an evening person anyway and he had at least one beer, not enough to smell of it but its upsetting as he's got a bad relationship with alcohol. I know he feels guilty drinking esspesally as he has alcoholics in the family. He keeps asking me to support him in not drinking but I don't really know how as I don't want to argue about it.

Embrace is he seeking help for his drinking? Is he going to counselling or anything? Maybe ask him how you can support him, if you haven't already done that. I don't know how you could though as I've not been in that situation before.
Hi Curbside, hope your trip went well.

First full week of work for me. I'm loving it.
Thought I was coming to terms with DS leaving home but this week we had children crying coming in, in the morning (and crying when they have to go home)
Anyway I found myself getting all emotional too. Close to tears, my heart was breaking for them. I'm not normally like that. I have sympathy for them, I do think "ah the poor little mites" but I wouldn't be nearly crying with them.

@iblink he doesn't get any professional help, he was t total for quite a while on his own when he was really into his health, allthough he crash dieted and then did weights. He hasn't had much time to do weights since we had our baby but she is putting on weight all the time and he carries her round a lot. I feel like a bad mum sometimes as I prefer to see her asleep not on me rather than hold her all the time. Just got her a mobile and she's currently memorised. But we've always been like that, my dh loves cuddles and I've never been that touchy feely. Dd weighed yesterday and is 5kg, right where she should be, always reassuring as now she only wakes up once for a short night feed, occasionally sleeps through, I know I'm blessed for her doing that at just 2 months! Do you think, your ds moving out made you more emotional at work - remembering him being younger? How's everyone else doing?

College anixety returning. I do an unlike course, went for an induction session yesterday. Now I have assignment, deadlines and dissertations running through my head. Awake since 5am.

That sucks iblink. I was awake at 4 with baby, after her having a late night but fortunately got to sleep easier. I got sleep deprived due to the hospital environment. I find her precedence a sleep aid now, it's lovely. I love learning but not deadlines and dissertations.

How's everyone doing? I'm feeling quietly angry this evening. My dh had a bad day at work, same problem my brother had, they both work with children and have been acused of innaporate touching. He's moved from middle school to first school and has felt out of depth but been working hard to learn and loves his job, but takes it home and talks to me about it whereas I'm Better I think at leaving work at work. It's really upset both my brother in the past and my dh tonight. I've worked in a nursery which had no male employees and heard a colleague say the only reason a man would work with children is if he was a paedophile. That sort of sexism is not discussed and obviously widespread if 2 members of my family have been acused.

Oh Embrace that's shit. Men are such an advantage in an early years setting. I've heard a few men say they'd love to work in Early Years but are scared of what people would think.
Today the girl I work with had a meeting so the owners son was working with me. He's brilliant with the children.
At home time one of the mother's asked me who he was and if he'd be there all the time. She seemed a bit uncomfortable and concerned that he knew her son.
Then again I suppose all men are paedophiles or rapists right?