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Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

987 replies

Fairydust26 · 12/03/2018 20:56

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

OP posts:
stayclosetoyourself · 21/06/2018 09:46

Hi can I post here I’m experiencing really bad panic and anxiety feelings . Constant hyperatousal and hypervigilance an feel full of adrenaline. It’s so wearing when techniques and grounding don’t work.

dogzdinner · 21/06/2018 09:54

larla - that's the sort of thing I imagine. As if I can escape the anxiety by physically running away

stayclose hi, sorry to hear you are feeling like that. That's exactly how I feel, the body thinking it is under serious threat to life and getting adrenaline surges, can't eat or sleep... I find I can control it to some extent when it is mild, but when it gets a hold there's not much I can do. Is there anything specific that is causing them? Mine generally happen when there's any changes taking place or things out of my control. Nothing major, but my brain just over-reacts.

Fairydust26 · 21/06/2018 15:47

dogz - Feeling unable / unwilling to cope with the physical symptoms. They become overwhelming and seemingly never-ending ending.

OP posts:
dogzdinner · 21/06/2018 16:32

Fairy thanks, it does help to know that other people understand me. When I talk to anyone who has never suffered from it, they don't get how hard it is. Well, why would they. If I describe it it doesn't sounds that bad, It's not as if I'm writhing in pain, but it's like a form of torture. If I had someone who could hug me and tell me everything will be ok it would help, but I'm on my own.

Canwejustrelaxnow · 21/06/2018 17:43

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling with anxiety. The physical symptoms are something else and make me really frightened. I hate the lump in the throat feeling. Like I'm being strangled.

Can anyone tell me if it's normal to feel full after hardly any food? I'm a huge emotional eater normally but for the last few days im feeling full after a slice of toast. Will this just pass? Do I need to see the gp? My throat feels thick too.

wishiwasacollie · 21/06/2018 17:54

Hi all. Thanks for making me welcome. I get the physical symptoms too ie understand and alsovthe fact that if you havent had them its hard to explain. I had my first therapist session which went well as in i was reassured that what i feel others feel. I think there is a long way to go. I have bern signed off work for two weeks as i couldnt function it got so bad. Am dreading going back in case it all starts again but dont feel like i can ask for more time. Therapist thinks she can teach me tools to cope better ie not worry so much and to step away.
Hope you are all doing better

dogzdinner · 21/06/2018 17:56

Hi canwe sorry to hear you are feeling so bad.

Yes, struggling to eat is 'normal'. when I've had it really bad I've not been able to eat at all, I just retch.

How long have you been feeling like this and do you know what has caused the anxiety?

Canwejustrelaxnow · 21/06/2018 18:05

Thanks. It's been bad for a few months and signed off work for a few months. It was a bad work situation but I can trace it back to about 18 months. I'm so fearful all the time, like something awful is going to happen. Hope you are ok.

dogzdinner · 21/06/2018 18:07

What support have you had from your gp?

Canwejustrelaxnow · 21/06/2018 18:15

I've got sertraline but i dont want to take it yet. I don't like the numb feeling I get but will use it as a last resort. I'm waiting for CBT. Should be another month or so. I've been having private counselling but can no longer afford it and it wasn't that good. Attending a course run by mind. I've started yoga... I'm trying hard!

dogzdinner · 21/06/2018 18:24

Oh dear, you've had a long wait for CBT. Is the Mind course helpful?

i don't like taking anti-depressants either I get bad side effects. Have you been offered beta blockers?

Canwejustrelaxnow · 21/06/2018 18:27

Mind course is early days. Informative. Yes I've got beta blockers but won't take them. I can't believe my body is so stressed out. I don't think it does me good being by myself all day. I think I need to radically change my life.

dogzdinner · 21/06/2018 18:42

Why won't you take the beta blockers?

I'm trying CBD oil but it's early days.

Being alone won't be helping. I find going to the gym helps. For the exercise effect but also being around other people. Even though there's little interaction it gives some connection.

I

NT53NJT · 23/06/2018 00:23

Hi all.
I had a straight forward operation in march but my recovery from waking up to fully healed was described as traumatic by my GP. I woke up freezing cold shaking uncontrollably genuinely fearing for my life and this has continued in the months since .
I get so worked up I get all this energy and I feel like my heart's going to pound through my chest and I get so freaked out thinking I'm going to die.

I've been to the GP who signed me off work for 2 weeks because the stress of work wasn't helping me at all, now I am just waiting for 1 to 1 work with minds matter.

arghhhhhhh · 23/06/2018 10:23

Hi everyone, just stumbled upon this thread. Felt it would be good to talk to someone.

I know I need help but just don't know if I am quite ready yet. I have no idea why.

I have 2 dcs - one is autistic and I'm pregnant with number 3.

Married. First child with my dh. Ex and father of my 2 dcs put me through hell and moved away.

In the space of 2 years the following happened:

I already had dc1 and was still with my ex.

  • he cheated
  • I go to the doctors for antidepressants. My anxiety is through the roof and I also admit that I have ocd. I can't stop cleaning. I've had ocd since I was a teenager and always been a massive worrier.
  • I got made redundant from my job just before Christmas
  • my dad had an affair which all came out on Christmas Day
  • I split up with my ex (got courage from somewhere) but then found out I was pregnant with dc2. He came back
  • became severely ill and needed hospital stays in my pregnancy
  • my mum leaves my dad. Dad still seeing other woman. The start divorce proceedings
  • I'm forced to meet my dads new gf. He tells me if I want to stay in his life then I have too. She was horrible. The worst person I've ever met (thankfully they are no longer together now)
  • I'm put in the middle of my mum and dads arguments whilst still ill with my pregnancy.
  • I've had enough, my mental health is down the drain and I think about taking my own life.
  • I realise my ds has special needs and start the route of diagnosis
  • give birth to my daughter
  • my grandma passes away
  • catch ex on a sex website looking for discreet sex
  • my other grandma passes away
  • split up with ex and he moves to the other side of the country
  • ds gets diagnosed with autism.

My ocd is rife through all of this. As is my anxiety. I'm on and off anti d's. Not had counselling as my area is terrible for it. Can't afford to pay private.

Now this was years ago. I've now married and im expecting dc3. But I'm still suffering with anxiety and ocd. I have 2 step children and I'm finding it so hard with them. Not because I don't love them. As daft as it sounds - it's the mess they make. I can't deal with it. Through the week, my home is how I need it to be. The weekends come and it's a nightmare.

Dc3 wasn't planned before anyone wonders why I would have another baby but I am happy to be pregnant.

Ds is and his autism is worrying me so much.

I worry about things that aren't even things. Like the smallest things. Dh is the opposite. He doesn't think about things until they happen.

There's loads more I could write. I just want to clean my house from top to bottom to clear up the mess the step dcs have made. I sound pathetic :-(

larla · 23/06/2018 10:43

No you don't sound pathetic. You've had a very tough few years. Your DS being on the Spectrum is hard. On one hand you must be relieved that he has a diagnoises on the other hand you must be worried about what this means for your child. I don't mean to presume to know what you feel. I work in Childcare and this just seems to be common with parents I come in contact with.
I worry about silly insignificant things too. I can't even put into words what I worry about. Sometimes I don't even know myself.
At the moment my house is a tip I want to clean it but I don't have any energy. I was out last night. Wasn't home until 2am but I was still awake at 7.30 this morning.

Fairydust26 · 23/06/2018 21:17

Big welcome to our new posters😊 arghhhhhhh your not pathetic at all you sound like you’ve had an awful lot to deal with big hugs to youFlowers.

How’s everyone’s weekend going? I’ve just picked up my prescription and found they changed the brand of sertaline I have been taking I know it probably won’t make any difference but I’m worried it’s gonna give me side effects after reading story’s online (something you should never do I know!) anyone else had this issue?.

OP posts:
larla · 23/06/2018 21:45

Ugh just went out for a family meal but DS's gf came too. I invited her and said she could stay over but I couldn't handle it. I should be able to handle this better. I shouldn't be getting so hung up and stressed over it. I want to be nice to her but I can't do it.
Now I feel like a shit parent and a shot person. The girl is only 19 and yes she is a spoilt brat who throws a fit when she doesn't her own way but I should be able to just roll my eyes and laugh it off. I should be able to grin and bear it until they split up.
Why can't I do that. Why does my anixety spike and my depression kick in more around her.
Right now I feel like crying. I didn't take my meds today as I forgot to collect them until late and then we were on our way but surely 1 day missing them shouldn't make a difference.

Sorry I am babbling. I am sitting here alone.. I've no-one else to talk to.

AsleepAllDay · 24/06/2018 05:10

I texted my ex and told him I am really still feeling my feelings and wish I wasn't... he sounds like he is getting some distance from this while I'm stuck

I'm so worried about everything and wish I wasn't

dogzdinner · 24/06/2018 07:30

Morning everyone. I've been waking up early for the past few days with that horrible knot of worry in my stomach. But it isat least better than the extreme feelings of anxiety that stop me sleeping that I was having.

arghhhhh you don't sound pathetic, you've had a lot of traumatic events happen in a short space of time and they've obviously had a big impact on you. I think I can recognise some similarities with how I feel (although I haven't had to deal with so many things as you). From what you have said, it seems that you have a strong desire for order and control in your life and the anxiety starts when you lose this. Your body believes there is a threat and responds appropriately. Unfortunately when the 'threat' is just that the house is a bit untidy, the response is obviously not appropriate.

You are right that it is good to talk about it.

I know you have said it's difficult to get counselling, have you checked all possible options for this? Sometimes there are charity or council run courses (not necessarily counselling, but aimed at those with anxiety or depression) available.

Do you have any coping mechanisms at the moment that you use?

Fairy I don't take that, but I know when I've had different brands of drugs on prescription (for all sorts of things) it hasn't made any difference. I just see it as different packaging.

larla sorry you were on your own. I hope you were able to sleep ok. Does your DS understand about your anxiety and depression, that it makes some situations more difficult for you to deal with? Have you been able to think about what it is about the GF that you worry about?

Asleep How long have you been apart from ex? I know that when I split from my exH I wanted to contact him because he was the person that I was used to turning to for support (although at the same time he was the one who caused the hurt). Much better if you have someone else you can contact, or write it down somewhere or just post on here.

larla · 24/06/2018 08:43

Morning everyone. Another night with barely any sleep.
@dogzdinner yes i know why I don't like the girl. She's controlling and muliptive. My DS used to the have a large circle if friends and a few very close friends. Now he's lost them. He won't go anywhere without her and her family.
They buy him clothes and they must have paid for him to go on this holiday because he can't afford it.
It's not just me my family and my friends are all disgusted with my DS attitude since getting with this girl. He stole money from me and then blamed me because I stopped giving him pocket money. ( I stopped because he won't do anything in the house)

If the GF doesn't get her own way. For example if I ask DS to stay at home because we have plans she texts me nasty texts.

St Patrick's day I went to collect DS from her house and they brought me inside and had what I call something like an intervention. Basically they attacked me and she was vile. What hurt was DS just sat there. I was completely ambushed. I had no idea this was going to happen.
I could go on and on but it's too long.
DS does know about my MH. Apparently GF suffers from MH issues too.

AsleepAllDay · 24/06/2018 10:42

@dogzdinner - it has been exactly a month. I said I'm still feeling my feelings and trying to fight against it but I can't help it, I'm not ready to move on. He said he's keeping busy to take his mind off being lonely but he's less anxious etc

I definitely will write it here because I basically spewed up my emotional guts at him and he's not my partner anymore, so it's not appropriate! I miss him like hell though

larla · 24/06/2018 10:54

That's really tough AsleepAllDay.Flowers I can't offer any advise as I've always been on my own depending on myself mostly, friends and family.
Being alone is very lonely though.

Fairydust26 · 24/06/2018 13:33

Anxiety’s sky high today.. think I mentioned on the previous thread but does anyone else notice their anxiety gets particularly bad the days running up to your period?.i feel like the slightest thing could send me into a full blown anxiety attack as if we don’t have anything else to deal with oh the joys of being a womanSad.

OP posts:
Fairydust26 · 24/06/2018 13:39

larla re the meds yes missing one day will be fine most have quite a long half life. Your not a blubbering mess at all keep posting we’re here to offer you support😊.

dogzdinner thanks that’s what I thought I’m sure it’s all just mind over matter.

AsleepAllDay hugs for youFlowers I find posting on here helps loads too.

OP posts: