The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hello Yes, I've been feeling more like j should give them a go recently actually. I just get myself worked up into a bit of a tizz when I worry about side effects and things. I was on the waiting list for CBT but when I had my telephone assessment the lady said I no longer qualified as my anxiety had improved but I've been on a downward spiral from there again.

Thankyou calm :)
Welcome wizard - you can be re referred for another assessment by your GP. Do you think that would be worth it?
Have you seen the Mind website, and No Panic website?
Keep posting on here to offload :)

I feel really low today. I think it's cos I was drinking last night. Hopefully it's not because I came off mirtazapine. I can't deal with feeling depressed again.

Hello Aint, I don't really know to be honest. Is there anyone here who's had success with CBT?
I just feel a bit pushed from pillar to post and it took so much for me to see the GP in the first place. It's so frustrating when you feel as though your improving but then things start to go downhill again.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down today calm, i hope your mood improves.

Hi all. Am feeling ok today.
How is everyone?
calm, sorry you feel low. I went to sleep late , not very good at taking care of myself sometimes.
Wizard - I have had small amounts of CBT in among other things, found it helpful for certain things like getting anxious before work. I think it's good for specific problems, maybe not as good for general or longer standing problems.

Hi all.
Having one of my periods of sudden, fearful anxiety tonight. Tired, have been napping in the garden. Had nearly forgotten how it feels. I know so much about it, and try so hard to manage it, allow it, etc. but when it comes it still feels like it's in charge. It's like a fear of losing myself into a void.

I am learning how to be my own friend at the moment. So I'm going to make myself a cup of tea, have a little chat with myself and treat myself kindly.
Hope all well and enjoyed the sunshine ❤️

Aint be kind to yourself. A cup of tea sounds nice.

I'm still feeling low. This hangover has knocked me for six. I ended up hypomanic the other night. It was after posting that my CPN and DP thought I was high. Later on I realised I was a bit high. It felt good. I think it's cos I stopped my mood stabilising antipsychotic. But my partner says I'm not good to be around the kids like that. Here's hoping I feel a little bit like that later on.

Thanks calm. Sorry you are feeling low.
I went to town and had a wander round while waiting for a takeaway. I tried mindfulness while walking in the fields and down to the river, and across town. I tried to reassure myself this will pass.
It's like a fear of everything, life, death, past events, future events.
It hurts. But I managed. I don't feel normal but a bit better .

Hello
I'm an up and down sufferer. Definitely made worse after having children and moving out of London. Life has changed hugely and still getting to grips with it. My anxiety made worse by lack of sleep. Vicious cycle as anxiety has caused insomnia so surviving on not much sleep for the past 3.5 years have wreaked havoc on my mood.
I have to remind myself that I often have good periods of time, even days, when I'm in the middle of a dark patch. Dark patches I would describe as a feeling a dread or doom.
My anxiety does not revolve around the everyday things but over the big life decisions. And it's crippling me making any decisions - both career and where to live. Also my anxiety has impacted greatly upon my career as I self sabotage (not good enough etc), public speaking or even just speaking in an internal meeting brings me out in a sweat! Ditto making friends. I feel quite low and lonely. And I'm sure the anxiety crosses over into lack of self confidence and esteem. I hate it. The things that help me are headspace app, just taking three deep breathes, trying to be in the moment and not delving into the pit of rumination and fret (easier said than done), bath and candle, staying off social media (am trying to not go on Facebook for a month then will do the same for Instagram), talking about something lighthearted with a friend or husband, exercise. I've also tried CBT and counselling. I get the principles of CBT and found it helpful though it's harder to do in practice. I do have a book on anxiety so I'm going to pick that up again. Been on AD in past for depression but I don't want to go on them again (anxiety over side effects!) Anyway hello!

Actually now I've written that I'm rethinking the pills. Is anyone/has anyone been on them and what was the experience? They did help me when I was depressed years ago to lift me out of the hole and enable me to think a little more rationally but they also made me feel very spaced out and not that present.
Am just fearful of not feeling right on them or it exacerbating it all.

Glad you feel a bit better Aint. I too feel a bit better after my depressed mood yesterday. I think it was the drink.

800 I'm on antidepressants. They have helped me so much. Don't be afraid of trying them, they could really help you.

Thanks calm. Glad you are feeling better today.
I am still feeling ' the fear' and it makes me tired and frustrated, but I recognise a pattern, by tomorrow hopefully I'll be more back to (my version of)normal.
This fear I get is a bottomless feeling of uncertainty, fear, despair. I become exhausted with it.
I got out this morning in the light rain, did a few things in town and more or less enjoyed a wander around shopping. Have got some jobs to do this afternoon to do with the house and work. Preparedness for work helps me.
I feel so grateful to have a good job, to have a house, comfort.
I find when I am like this, I can try mindfulness, distraction, connection, gratitude for what I have, remembering good days, and this helps but only by about 10/20 % it seems as if I have to wait it out :(

Welcome 800, I can relate a lot to your difficulties and post, especially the low self esteem, insecurity, career sabotage, indecision, and I have been helped a lot by the psychological therapy I have had. Part of it is just finding out that that is the issue, and possibly why, and how to get greater solidity, centredness etc.

Hi Aint. I totally get your feelings of "uncertainty, fear, despair". I too feel like this a lot of the time. Glad to hear you had a nice wander round town this morning. It sounds like you are keeping yourself busy, which is good.

I'm feeling a bit anxious. Racing thoughts come and go. I wish I knew how to turn it off. My psychiatrist won't prescribe diazepam for times like this. Although I just heard from my CPN that he's just been changed to another locum consultant so I might have a chance of getting some on my next appointment. Whenever that may be.

Hope all are well today

Thanks calm, it helps to know I'm not alone in the experience. People think, I know I certainly thought, that anxiety was worry and overthinking , while although that is part of it, this intense unspecified fear or feeling of loss of safety , combined with physical feelings of anxiety, and sometimes leading to panic, is something I never knew about, until I developed it.
I am thinking about a proper beach walk in the rain later. I'm also going to try to ' fake it until I can make it' a little bit in front of the family. I acknowledge how I feel, but I'm going to try to continue with normal jobs and family life this afternoon.
I'm sorry you are feeling anxious, any way I can help?
💕

You are already helping me by chatting to me on your thread

It's good to know that I'm not alone. I feel fear for no real reason. It's scary sometimes. I'm gonna try and take care of myself today. I've got my lovely son to keep me company. We have chit chat about anything and everything. He is great company. He's only 5.

Take good care of yourself x

That sounds nice , calm, enjoying the company of your son.

I just had a bath, but even so am more anxious, have decided to settle to jobs I need to do dividing them up into 15/30 min slots.

Hi, just popping on to say I am feeling more settled. Caught up with some of the family and went out for a walk.
I wouldn't wish this problem on anyone, though it's important to try to help ourselves and always have hope and keep moving forwards.
Thanks to calm for helping me today :)

How are any other contributors to the thread - sorry if I didn't respond to your posts, I have been a bit up and down.

Hello. It's been so reassuring reading this thread. I remember being an anxious child, waiting and worrying until my dad brought my mum home from the night shift then relaxing when the car pulled up. If they were minutes late I'd feel so panicked as it was just myself and my younger brother in the house (this was the 80's).
I think it's a combination of age and hormonal changes but over the last year I've had a resurgence of panic. Health panic dominates my morning, catastrophising symptoms, worrying about the what ifs. I realise now I have panic attacks where I feel the world is closing in, I get tingling in my hands and face, pounding heart. I'm on alert all the time about my mum, her safety, her health etc. It's so isolating and I feel totally detached and v tired. So from tomorrow im going to start the hard expertise ans eat more b vitamins and more nutrients. Today my anxiety stopped me from eating. Although my DH is supportive he is more process driven. My mum is frail and my brother totally distant.
Work is a distraction thank goodness but I worry about it all the time too. Have a peaceful night everyone

Hi swift , welcome to the thread :)
It sounds as if you have a lot on your plate at the moment , it's so important to take care of yourself when under multiple stresses.
In the past I guess we would have had extended family to advise us and share worries with, but now we are so much more isolated. I do believe we are social beings though and we will always find a way to connect with others
Sleep well all ☺️

Good morning
Wishing you all a peaceful and calm day. Be kind to yourselves and remember, you are not alone!

Morning sprint and all others:)
I am rested and have some space and time to do some overdue jobs today, as I am not in work , which also feels rather strange as I have just changed my hours.

Glad to hear you are more settled and rested Aint. Good morning everybody.

I have decided to start taking valerian. I have some capsules in the cupboard which I bought and never really used properly. I heard they work in a similar way to diazepam. I hope they help my anxiety.

Feeling quite calm and in quite a good mood. Have started a mood diary again, where I rate my mood at 2pm and at 7pm every day. Will try to identify triggers etc for my low mood and anxiety.

Off to make a Quorn beef sandwich for my lunch.

Hope you all are having a good day.

800, have you decided if you want to give antidepressants a go?

Thought for the day

"Approach things in your life with love, not fear"

So today, I am cleaning and sorting out my house because I love my house and love my family, and I am attending to personal tasks and hobbies because I love myself and wish to promote a healthy lifestyle to nourish myself, and take time to care for myself.
❤️

Good advice ain't. I am having a clear out too. Everything in my house must bring me joy, from now on.

Hope you all had a peaceful weekend. I am trying headspace. So far, so good xxx