The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hi guys,
I'm really struggling at the moment, somebody mentioned previously about a book called, depression the curse of the strong, iv really related to it and found it helped, I wondered if anyone has read any other good books they've found helped. X

Cmblue, I've never read any books along that line, so can't help I'm afraid.

Hope everyone is having a good Friday. I know not everyone has the weekend off, or even a relaxing weekend planned, but I hope that some of us have the Friday feeling!

cmblue have a look in the cci website, type In cciworry into google then on the left hand side of the website It says workbooks, click on that and there is a list of the common types of anxieties including depression.

If it's for general anxiety then the Dr. Claire Weekes book called 'Self help for your nerves' has had a big impact on my understanding of how anxiety manifests itself.

Velma thank you, the cci website is fab, yes iv got GAD and panic disorder so ordered self help for nerves. Thank you for the recommendations.

Hi everyone, I went back to the doctors today and decided to up my calitopram to 40mg, i too have obsessive thoughts, in my head I try and reason with myself that they don't matter and try and think of other things, but sometimes that's no so easy.

Hi everyone. I feel ok today, I have gotten away without an anxiety attack today. I have been trying to get to the root of my late afternoon/teatime anxiety attacks, as they're the only problem I seem to struggle with now. I had a Google and low blood sugar /hypoglycaemia was suggested. So I had a snack at about 3 o clock today and now I seem to have avoided an anxiety attack. Maybe low blood sugar is the reason behind my anxiety attacks? I will try to have a snack tomorrow afternoon and see if I can get away without an anxiety attack again.

A good book I've read is Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Overcoming Anxiety is another good one.

Hope everyone is ok

Hello everyone
Am feeling lonely as my anxiety has flared up again most unexpectedly and my DH and best friend (biggest supporters) are not really coping with me at the moment. They are doing their best. I've been doing headspace for a month now and it might be helpful. Going through one of those why me moments. My childhood has given me PTSD and my mum is visiting this weekend so hoping when she goes I might feel better. Hope you are all having a relaxed weekend

Calm day, I have been reading a book about blood sugar dips, I really believe that they have a big influence on our moods. When I'm anxious I can't eat so vicious circle but if I don't eat sugar and eat small regular meals it helps me although in an anxious state easier said than done! Just borrowed the blood sugar diet from the library for ideas as I find it hard plan meals when I'm anxious

Hi all, at the moment I'm still doing ok. Still the thought pop's up in my head but it's more towards the back of my mind rather than the front screaming at me. More of my true feelings are coming through and I generally feel much calmer. I hope it continues.
As I said before I'm not quite sure what has actually happened, but I'm just going with the flow. Maybe some of the reading and research I've been doing has subliminally been working away in the background?

Anxiety and depression as if it isn't bad enough you rob us of our ability to function in the day, to go into a supermarket without having a panic attack, to go on a busy train without spending the whole time thinking I can't get off I'm going to faint, to make you feel so isolated and want to shut yourself away from the world so you don't have to face anyway without running away because off a racing heart and thinking your going to die, the intrusive thoughts trying to make dinner for yourself and children...as if that wasn't enough you rob us of precious sleep, well at the witching hour, I say 2 fingers too you mental health, why don't you just back the fck off for a couple of hours at least

cm you obviously had a rough night. It is the absolute pits. The more tired you are the worse the anxiety and depression and it becomes a viscious circle. Yesterday I had a few moments of where the anxiety and intrusive thought could have taken over. The thought is now morphing a bit into 'what if I don't love DH' rather than 'I don't love Dh'. I have the panic of what if this is the rest of my life within my family, not being unhappy, but not being happy?
I do feel it's the fear of losing what I've got and the fear makes me question it and over analyse it. I want to have my life rewind to before the first thought that set the spiral off.
Only 4 days until my CBT starts. I can't bloody wait.
I hope we all have a good enough day today.

Sorry you've had a rough night @Cmblue. I hope your day improves.

I've had a rough couple of nights too. Terrible anxiety on Sunday night - felt so sick, and shaking as I felt so cold. Don't think I was that cold though, think it was the anxiety.

Last night felt so panicked I couldn't sleep till 1am, then was up with DD at 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30 and then up at 6:20. So I'm feeling so tired as well, which isn't going to help anything.

Hoping to get outside today, the sky is blue and hopefully the sun comes out.......

Ye sorry I had to get that rant off my chest! The insomnia is fricking annoying!!! And losing my job working for local authority because my mental health has shown no improvement over 6 months, What kind of company has an ethos to sack you at your lowest!! No discrimination for mental health??? Ha Boll•cks... Still such a stigma and poor understanding.
Aww Velma I question everything... I ask my DS to put his dirty underwear in the laundry basket and he says... God mum all you ever do is moan!!! That's it then...the thoughts are does he resent me, does he even love me, is he unhappy, does he want to go and live with his dad, And all this from 1-10 in literally 1 normal question ,And that's just one instance in a long list everyday!! Fear of abandonment I think is very strong with people with anxiety!! Please post how your CBT goes!

Ignore my moaning!!! I'm sending all my positive thoughts to you all. X

Yess married I get the shaking too!!! But I'm sweating I put the fan on to cool me down and white noise but sometimes it feels like a ton of weight is on my and I'm paralysed to move..weird!!
Yes enjoy the blue sky, the sun is starting to shine here, I'm going to walk back from my EMDR session today.

Hello, I have just found this thread and you are all describing my feelings which I found amazing.

For the past few weeks I have been convinced I am going to die, heart attack, heart failure, etc. I was sure something must be seriously wrong but so far all medical tests have been clear. I have palpitations, shaking, nausea, tiredness and lethargy but can still walk the dog and do usual stuff with kids. I also get the crushing feelings in my chest.

My lovely mum died 2 years ago and since my dd started secondary school last month I feel bereft again. My mum should be here to see how well the dc are doing and I feel so lost without her. My gp has now prescribed sertraline but it's just sitting in the cupboard as I feel reluctant to start it.

I don't know where to turn for help....

Kahlua welcome, it's scary isn't it, we all feel your pain and understand what your going through, I'm sure we all spend a majority of the time convincing ourself were don't have a heart default, did your gp mention any grief counciling along side the meds?? That must be so hard for you, I couldn't imagine losing my mum, she literally my only support system and by god my saving grace, do you have any other support?? Grief is suppose to be the hardest emotion to deal with, so be kind to yourself always!!! X

Welcome Kahlua.

I also think my anxiety this time round has been impacted by the death of my Mam just over 2 years ago. There were other circumstances that also impacted it, but the crux is that I feel lost. My Dad listens and tries to be sympathetic, but his mentality and outlook is not the same as mine so I think he struggles a bit with it all. I do have a sister, but she is very inwardly focussed that my troubles just go over her head.
My one guaranteed supporter is the one I've got the anxiety with, my DH, so I find it difficult to tell him all my thoughts and feelings because I don't want him to negatively change towards me.

Hi Kahlua. So sorry about the loss of your Mum. That's a massive thing to have to work through. xx

Sorry for those who are having trouble with sleep. It's really the last thing you need when you're struggling with depression and anxiety.

velma You were right about the diagnosis element of my appointment this morning. The Dr took a full history of my mental health and then agreed that I have PND and anxiety, and expect too much of myself (which yes, I really do and I don't know how to change that).

She also thinks I should give up on home educating the children for the time being, which I cannot do. I'd feel like I had failed (silly), but I also don't want DD1 to feel like she has done something wrong that has made us send her to school when she doesn't want to go. We decided to home educate her because she's anxious, doesn't like being away from me, and is only 5. She goes to Rainbows once a week, so that is helping her learn that it's fine to go places without me or her Dad.

Anyway. Dr is writing to my GP so he can prescribe me with amitriptyline as that has worked in the past, and is referring me for counselling, so hopefully that will come through soon.

Can I join in? . I have a generalised anxiety disorder with OCD and severe depression. I self harm and avoid triggers as much as I can. My main fears are health related, I obsess and ruminate about my health and analyse every small symptom. I'm convinced the doctors are wrong, that I'm having premonitions, what I'm feeling must be right/instinct. I'm not coping at all. I've posted identifying information on here before so trying to be careful

Thank you very much for your kind responses.It's just so hard to deal with at times.

A friend has just been over for a chat and a cuppa. It was lovely to see her and I managed to talk but spent the whole time worrying about how stiff my neck was and if the pain in my chest was increasing. So frustrating to deal with and not be able to relax and enjoy life.

I did have some counselling last year and stopped it as seemed to be improving but have just taken steps to have some more to deal with loss.

Like you, shouldnthavesaid I seem to obsess about every symptom at the moment, convinced the tests are all missing something, even though I am able to rationalise it clearly at times.

Evenings seem to be my worse time. Once the kids have gone to bed I alternate between chatting to my lovely patient dh and wondering if I should take myself to casualty. However I know that if I am able to drive myself there, I cannot be ill!

I hope everyone is having a nice, settled day. For those who aren't, I hope you manage to get through it xx

I am having my first CBT session next week.

I have had three years of hell; stress and anxiety sick leave caused by my headteacher, a pregnancy that was fraught with health issues, an emergency operation that involved 4 months of daily follow ups, suspended from work for 3 months due to a vindictive and malicious student, back to work with little support (I had a 'how are you?' on my day back and nothing more except a 'chin up, onwards and upwards from the Chair of Governors - she has no fucking clue!) and now lesson observations are upon us and my anxiety is building.

I have no idea what to expect from CBT or how long it goes on for.

Kahlua its horrible isnt it? I went to the GP today and couldn't tell her all my worries as she didnt seem the caring type but she said she felt it unlikely I have heart problems.. I don't feel reassured. I was considering paying £20 for a pushdoctor appt to get reassurance off them :(

I went for a 'write to recovery' group today. It was interesting , a bit daunting but I met some friendly people and did some creative writing on the theme of 'acknowledge it but don't dwell on it' . It wasn't the worst 'therapy' I've had. Have seven more sessions still

Hi, I haven't posted for a while, I went on holiday and just getting away from everyday life helped and I really tried to keep positive when I got home but have failed. Back to not sleeping, waking up feeling sick, I'm on sertraline but think I nay need to up my dose as just don't feel it's working. Any problems big or small I just can't cope with and feel so overwhelmed constantly. I had therapy for about 9 months (not CBT)) and it didn't work. I.was going to try CBT but feel like it's not going to help as I have no faith that I'm ever going to be able to change the way I think. Feeling very down about myself

Just a quick hello everyone. I just read this short article and really enjoyed it, hope some of you like it too -

www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/calming_touch

It makes me realise that we aren't alone in anxiety, and we really should do whatever works to help us manage.

It could be having a cuddle with your toddlers cuddly toy (I've done that!), watching a film you've watched a thousands times (as it's comforting as it's familiar) or something else.