The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Welcome Apple. That sounds really tough. There is a series called ' Overcoming .. Anxiety, OCD etc lots of different titles. Also workbooks. Have you seen online resources such as MIND website, no panic, Anxiety UK, getselfhelp, livelifetothefull?
Hopefully some of our lovely posters will be able to share some OCD resources maybe . Are you having any treatment?

I hope so too Velma.

Hi Apple, I too have OCD, though mine manifests differently to yours. I know what you mean about the complete exhaustion, It's awful, and makes things even harder. I did get a book recently, called something like the OCD workbook. Some of the things it said were to think about what you would do if you didn't have it, and try and do them, and resist giving in to what your brain wants you to do for as long as you can, It's based on CBT principles, maybe you could go to your GP and get some. It is lonely, and that's made worse by people saying that it's not curable, but manageable. I want it gone! Not there forever. I live in hope

I had EMDR and I can 100% say it works. I feel quite defensive about the fact it's said it doesn't tbh. I've lived with my trauma for 30+ years and in 5-6 months of sessions, but really in some cases it was 1-2 appointments that helped, I'm pretty much processed. Other things kept coming up too and my therapist suggested we process those too. Again, 20+ years of other upset processed and understood. It's been huge for me.

And yes, the point of EMDR is that you DON'T talk much.

Children know when mum and dad aren't happy. They learn about relationships from what they see. I know you want to put your children first. May I suggest you might actually be doing that if you left this horrible man? Bonus that it's what you want too.

Strongasmeringue sorry I really need your advice as not a lot about EMDR, the waiting list for it is over a year long with my mental health team so I'm fortunate my mum has paid private it's £55 a session and when we did my trauma line she said there was a lot of unprocessed trauma stored at the back of my brain so it could take upto 6 months and it's the reason my mental health has manifested into anxiety and depression, I'm really willing to put my all into it as I need my life back and wondered if youde discuss your journey with the therapy. Xx

Strong: it's still recommended and evidence based. Better for single event . I'm talking generally that's all, cbt also evidence based.

If you were addressing me - hope that ok. I was very distressed at that time also, when having emdr and was told it may have been done too soon.

Cmblue - what would you like to know? Mine was on the NHS and I'm very grateful I was able to have the approximately 20 sessions I had.

Aint - I responded to your 21:47 post on Thursday. I can only go on my experience. I've had three or four counsellors, talking therapy, and none helped. EMDR has changed my life.

Do you know if it's available everywhere on the NHS Strong? My dr wasn't sure, and I will have to find out when I get to the top of the CBT list. 20 sessions sounds amazing, is it dependent on need?

I have no idea. There must be a way to find out. No good to find out not available when you're top of the list, but how can there be a list for a service that doesn't exist on the NHS? In my case I knew from day one I'd get 20 sessions. There is the option to apply for a few more if the therapist things they are needed and 2-3 months after the last session there is a catch up session where needed.

Sorry, I meant I can only find out when the CBT starts, as it would be at the same place. Seems odd that she didn't know though.

I'm not sure it's correct practice to be having CBT and EMDR at the same time.

Strong does it work for multiple traumas? Do you think it will ease my panic attacks? Was it upsetting reliving they events? How long ago did you have it? I'm glad it changed your life, your the second person iv heard say that, I too have also tried lots of other therapy.

No, I couldn't have them at the same time, It's all through the psychology dept, so they'll know if they do it or not

A better day today. I've been to my normal gym class, had an afternoon nap. I had a few pangs of anxiety, but I mentally recognised them.
Since DH has got in I've felt much more relaxed, he started chatting to me about nothing and everything straight away, so I think I'm going to ask him to try and do the same when we come back together after being out. I find I start to analyse my feelings and responses while I anticipate seeing him.
2 weeks until my therapy starts, I'm quite looking forward to it, I felt really comfortable talking to the counsellor on the phone in Tuesday, so I hope I build up a good relationship with him so that the treatment works as well as it can.

Cmblue - I was referred for some specific trauma but another one kept coming up, so we processed that, and the realisation why thensecond thing was as it was became clear. It was processed. I've also been through another trauma in the last couple of years and that didn't come up at all. The therapist knew about it but while it wasn't what I was ther for, neither was the second thing and that came up and she suggested we process it.

I'm nowhere near qualified to say whether it would help with your panic attacks. My gut feeling is it depends what the panic attacks are caused by.

velma can I just speak instinctively? When you said you mentally recognised how you were feeling, that reminded me of when I was in my EMDR appointment and I concentrated on what my body was doing, how I was feeling. It's a good thing to do as it grounds you and can stop anxiety taking over and/or you catastrophising.

Strong, yes I realise that. I was just speaking about my personal experience to lovemysituation. Please don't be defensive or take it personally, as in no way was it a comment on your own experience. My meaning was, it didn't help me at that time, in addition, there is no consensus on how or why it works, though it does work, or whether it is ahead of CBT trauma therapy. They are both evidence based treatments for trauma.
I hope that's better explained and please be assured I was not denigrating any of the treatments. Peace and positivity.

Back to normal today and a good day in work after drama meltdown week.Seems emotional work in a therapy session takes time to come out of your system. I really feel I've moved on and grieved for the emotional part of the marriage, all of which is tied up with the trauma. It feels like a major breakthrough.

I read you saying no consensus as no agreement that it works. I see that as saying there's no proof but it's not worth getting worked up.

It's great you feeling better and can see that therapy affects your mood.
I'm finding it's my hormones that affect me and every month they catch me out but I hope by posting this it reminds me so that next month I don't have the same response.

Hiya - it does work and is recommended but its not known how or which part of it works.
I think it's just better to look at guidelines if we are interested, I do as that's in my training, and share experiences as we wish.
I had no wish to offend you.

I think for the thread to work as a comfortable safe place we need to understand we are all here to be non judgmental and caring to each other. Coming from a spirit of understanding and support, we can gain strength. Sharing personal experience and empathising.

In terms of research and guidelines each person can easily research NICE or Royal society of psychiatrists website etc as they please. I'll leave that area for now.

Hope everyone feels calm and safe this morning. I'm away this week so getting ready for that. Feel fine, emotional few days have left me now calm and centred.
Grief and loss and feelings, you can't suppress or avoid them, you can only go through them.

I'm feeling a bit on edge today. Even though I've got all the evidence that I've got a typical intrusive thought, which means they are generally a load of nonsense, I've got the 'what if it's true' thought and analysis going on today. I know that when this happens I can't see through it to see my true feelings and it can become a downward cycle of thought, analysis, thought.

I just want to switch it off. Even the therapist on Tuesday said he didn't think the thought was true because of the responses I gave when he asked me questions and ultimately because if it was, it wouldn't cause me this much distress. On Tuesday I also registered from the questionnaires no anxiety and no depression and I felt so content and genrrally happy with my lot.

I want time to rewind to before Easter when I first had the thought so that this going round in circles would not happen and I wouldn't be in this situation now. I want to just be generally content again rather than analysing my feelings.

I've even thought about drinking alcohol again to 'get out of my head'. I've not drank alcohol for 2.5 years because of the general level of retchedness I feel when I drink small amounts, like a severe hangover. I can totally see how something relatively minor in mental health terms can escalate into other aspects.

Argh......and repeat ad infinitum.

Aint - I responded as how I felt when I read the initial post. You've said more now which explains better what you meant. I'm not interested in arguing. I suppose I feel procteitve of EMDR as it has changed me life. Daft I know.

Velma - I think we all get the going round in circles thing. I dread to think how many rings I've made. I'm still not there, this month I did the same stupid thing again, but it is getting easier and it will be fine one day. I have to keep believing that.

Strong I don't want any arguing on the thread. I've explained, I've said not to take it personally, I think this is not the thread for disputes and defensiveness when nothing was actually said.