The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Welcome youll sorry crossed posts with you. Your story sounds familiar and I agree, I love mindfulness too. I hope you find comfort and friendliness on the thread :)

How about you put your noticemin to your Dh before you do for work? Maybe once he's sorted then work might seem manageable? And if you do call time in dh you might need the job. Apologies if out of line. Just what came to me.

Well, I think since I can't change him, I only really have that option. I was hoping to wait until dc leave school, but that's when things go ok.

An ex of mine had parents who waited until he was 18 and sister 16 before divorcing. It absolutely devastated him and has had a life long effect on him. If you want to separate do, don't use an arbitrary time when the kids will be XYZ as it's not fair for them to know/think you stayed unhappily with their father for them.

I know there is no right time, but I feel this is a really bad time and will also have a life long effect and devastation to be honest.

How is everyone tonight. I wish I could wave a magic wand and be positive and not low and anxious.

Sorry if I upset you. I was trying to help and free you. Don't be scared. You can do this and there is help available for you and your children. They don't deserve to be living with a bad parent. If that's what you're saying. I'm flying blind here a bit.

Sorry to butt in, but FWIW, my parents divorced when I was a young child. it has affected me, but now, I'm glad they did, and other things they did affected me far more

I had a panic attack when I went to bed last night because I couldn't sleep, so ended up getting maybe 1/2 an hour all night and on Tuesday night I only got about 4/5 hours sleep because of this awful cough I have. My sleep is terrible and I dread going to bed every night. Hope everyone is doing ok this morning.

YSYEO - do you have a plan for today so that you're nicely tired come bed time and can convince yourself you'll be fine and will get a good nights sleep?

I have been meditating, cleaned some of the clutter out of the bedroom, cut out caffeine, drinking chamomile tea. I have called the dr in a weak moment as I feel so dreadful with the tiredness and this chesty cough i've had for two weeks, I need help. I have decided to start upping my meds again, I didn't want to, but looks like I have no choice.

I hope I never have a week like this one again. I woke this morning and felt in a panic, probably a panic attack. Went to work, broke down.

Not on speaking terms with husband. Asked for apology last night, said no, it's all in my head. I'm not asking again, that's three nights on the run I'm not getting an apology.

There is nothing I'd like more that a divorce. I just don't feel it's in my ds interests at the moment. Though it's killing me.

Aint.......I hope you manage to get some rest tonight. I have no idea of what advice to give, all I can say is to try and take care of yourself. Do whatever you need to do to get through the next day. If something can wait, let it wait. Make sure you eat and drink enough, and get enough sleep. Sounds easy and obvious, but it isn't always. Take care.

Aint I know it's hard, but surely the current situation is not in your sons best interest either. Or yours, you can't get better under such an atmosphere. Unless your DS has exams, or a crisis atm, anytime is as good as it's going to be. Think of the strong lessons you will be teaching him; that relationships are based on love and respect and if you don't have that you can leave, that you deserve to be treated well, he deserves a happy mum. Was it you that's near the beach? If so, that could help. And some Bach rescue remedy, from boots, is always good in a crisis

❤️ Thank you. Am upstairs tucked into bed with a cup of tea resting x

Excellent place to be! I'm wiped out after Drs today, so I am too.

How was the doctors?

Good thanks, got back on CBT waiting list, and just talked yabbered about things. She never rushes you. We agreed that meds wouldn't really help. And apparently I cant get EMDR on NHS round here. Which is a shame.

That's good. You can have trauma CBt therapy it's still evidence based. I had emdr once, it didn't do anything, and I have read they are no longer sure if it's the actual technique that works, or just getting the trauma out there and aired.

Oh, I thought that that was one of the points of it, that issues aren't talked about much. That's what I liked about it. Talked so much about everything, it just stirs it up, but doesn't go away

Well I know CBT based trauma therapy is supposed to be effective. I have trauma therapy and I tend to feel awful afterwards like this week. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing having it it's so hard .

It's more for the OCD I'm having the CBT for, but there's plenty of other stuff that needs sorting somehow. Your therapy doesn't sound very therapeutic!

Hi all. I think it time I talked and got help. I can't carry on with these awful worries and routines/counting/rituals everyday. I see people enjoying their time on this earth and I worry 95% of my day. I read your posts here and it makes me feel that little bit less lonely. I don't want to pass this on to my children I am already seeing signs it has be sorted now. I was thinking about taking two weeks off work sickness. Sort of having mental health recovery time. Would like to use this time to do something to help me live with this anxiety. Anyone recommend any treatment books anything. Was thinking about the exposure method? As I have OCD and have to do ridiculous things in case something happens counting only in certain numbers. I'm exhausted even telling you this. So tired. Would love some words of guidance from probably the only people who genuinely understand. Hope your all having a good day.

This week it has destabilised me completely. But it's my own feelings and discussion that did that. Seems like I can't live with it, can't live without it ( so to speak). I feel I need it, but it makes me feel awful. Not if I go into just normal stuff, but trauma memories , it's a nightmare. I think all the feelings and memories are there in me though, and they need to come out, be felt and processed, so I'll get there in the end.

I've had a brilliant near on a week and then today I can feel the confusion and anxiety bubbling away.

I can't remember if I came on and told you all but my phone consultation from Tuesday, but it went well. He agreed that it's more of an obsessive intrusive thought rather than just general worrying so I'm going to be treated along those lines. I start my face to face treatment in a fortnight.
I cancelled the hypnotherapy, but after discussing the situation with her I might run it alongside my talk therapy once I'm clearer about what it entails. She said the majority of her clients have some thought of talk therapy alongside her treatment.

I'm hanging on to the fact I've had the odd day here and there of wellness, then the run of nearly a week, so I'm hoping that this under lying buzz of anxiety sods off soon.