The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

It sounds so difficult. I don't know whether to advise, not that you've asked , to keep trying with messages, visits, cards, or to tell him fine, he's made his choice and you'll be ready when he is.

I vary between both those, or thinking them anyway, sometimes I second guess myself about contacting as I feel worse when I try and he ignores. If things haven't changed when he's eighteen, I will go and live where I want, and make myself happy

I just wish I knew what to say to help.

My parents are non existent in my life and now I have children I don't understand them at all, even if I can understand in one case they'd had a less than stellar childhood. Even then, no, mine was worse than shit and yet somehow...

It was awful. I cried a veritable river of tears, my eyes are sore sort of tears.

Aint and I'm sorry to hear it was hard, how are things now?

Thanks. a lot of it is from the horrible behaviour of dh, which he now denies. It ties in with the counselling in other ways. I am tired and trying to chill but still worked up if you know what I mean .
Thanks for the cake and flowers though x

And I think my eyes will be swollen up tomorrow at work. 😎👽🐼

Let it go that your husband denies the horrible behaviour. You know he's done it. Now your plan should be, could be, to move forward in a new way and that could be without him or with him getting his head out of his arse and becoming a decent human being.

There are lots of colds around. You've been up all night sneezing...if you feel you have to explain your eyes.

I have my therapy tomorrow.

Strong, Thank you, I don't think anything can help, its just one of those situations that you just have to endure, whilst having regular rants about it!

Ain't, I'd agree with Strong, ignore his gaslighting, it may be that your anxiety would ease if you got away from him somehow

I have been thinking about the future, and imagine how days would be in the city I'm planning to move to, where I could go and do etc. I feel like this life is wrong and that one would be the right one for me somehow. But I've plenty to sort out in the meantime. I'm getting on well with the lavender, It's taking the edge off the anxiety, so I can reduce the amount of some things. Plus it tastes nice, so I don't mind the repeating!

hi everyone - checking in very quickly as I am travelling a lot for work this week so really busy to you all. such strong strong women in the face of so much grief anguish and suffering. Keep on keeping on...it's all any of us can do. I'm still doing my morning meditations and finding them so grounding. I've given up coffee (I used to drink a lot of very strong stuff) and (whispers) I think it might be helping. I haven't had TOO awful bouts of the anxiety monster this week, but as we know, its swings and roundabouts so I am not feeling complacent... hope everyone is doing ok

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In panicky mode at the moment. Have to fill in an assessment form later in preparation for tomorrow's appointment.

Bit hyper as cooking dinner and then having to go and get DDog from the vet while sort out housework. Up and down. Busy. Tired. Shaky.

Thanks. Am feeling awful , so drained, panicky and still so very upset. I told him he did say it but he denied it and he said I can't remember and am in fantasy land. I'm worried now I'm getting dementia or something .Felt so panicked in work but couldn't say anything or I know I would have completely broken down.

No Aint, you don't have dementia. Classic gaslighting tactics. Believe in yourself

for everyone struggling at the moment. As already said, just keep on going. We know anxiety ebbs and flows and some days cam be really shit, some not so bad and some relatively good.

I've had my consultation and I'm not going to be treated for worrying per se, but the under lying reasons for my anxiety. I start face to face counselling 6th October. I've also cancelled my hypnotherapy appt on Friday.
I'm having a good day today. I was reflecting back on how bad I was last Tuesday.

Thank you for support

Evening everyone.

Sending strength to those facing anxiety at the minute. I had a couple of anxiety moments today (near panic attacks) but thankfully managed to take my mind off it.

I've found that cutting out caffeine cuts my anxiety down so much. So I always have to have caffeine free drinks, which is a pain, but worth it for me in the long run.

Also, I like to think of sleep as a reset button. Sometimes I wake up with a bit of anxiety, but it's usually less than the day before, if i went to bed anxious. So I go to bed early if I can.

I had hypnotherapy sessions last year, which cost a fortune, but I think they did help me. But I think they helped my depression rather than anxiety.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?q=www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-signs-gaslighting-in-relationship&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwj0-OiU-bHWAhVHJsAKHThFDbwQFggNMAE&usg=AFQjCNGJgJa_ImJGk_AveVcKWWurKgMnZg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Info on gaslighting In case it's relevant to you Aint

this I found this, as has been said today, keep going everyone . This says it better than i did though!

married yes, I agree with regards sleep. I've been giving into my tiredness this week and I've felt much better. I know when I'm tired i struggle to rationalise as easily, so common sense says to be less tired!

With you both re sleep, and rest. I try to be in bed by the time it gets dark, and it's the best time of the day! When I get in bed, I feel safe, and my poor brain can have a rest from constantly thinking

I'm sorry if I'm on the wrong thread but can't see anywhere else I can ask for help.

DS is 21 and has just started uni (living at home) after 2 years of unemployment following leaving a very good job due to stress related issues.

He says he's enjoying uni (been there 2 days) but feels very anxious when he comes home and plays over trivial things in his head, he says. I suggested its probably fairly normal and other students are maybe experiencing the same. He says this anxiety (his label) has been going on for about 6 months since he first applied for uni. But says uni is a good thing.

I suggested DS sees the GP but he said he won't take medication as its a form of government social control and that if the anxiety was taken away he'd feel nothing. Has also said he doesn't have the same emotions as other people (I think he's probably somewhere on the autistic spectrum but has never been assessed). Presents as articulate, highly intelligent and rather shy and awkward to those outside the family; mostly presents as a quiet yet moody teenager at home.

Can anyone give me some strategies to help him? He rarely chooses to talk to me so conversations between us are rare. Are there any books that might appeal to him? Any non presciption medication/potions/foods he could take? Or any other words of wisdom or guidanace you can offer me?

MariaWaria - you will get more suitable responses if you start your own thread as some people will ignore this one if they aren't suffering with anxiety but they could help you and your son. Use the same topic.

Hi Maria, agree with strong, copy and paste your Op into a new thread in the mental health section. Otherwise people who have family members with anxiety etc won't see it .
I can understand your worries , I would suggest keep the communication channels open, advise him that GPs also advise pts themselves, and refer for talking therapy. Also has he got pastoral support or counselling at university ? I am not sure what he means by medication is government control: do you think this was just a flippant comment, or is it some sort of unusual belief he has developed with regard to his menta health? All the best , we will look for your thread.

After being panic and anxiety free for over 5 years I have had a relapse after tapering down my meds this summer. I am suffering from anxiety and panic most days (and related insomnia), my main symptom is intense nausea which cause my anxiety to worsen as I am emetophobic. It's usually worst in the mornings, especially when I haven't slept and getting my son to school is a challenge, but, I refuse to let my mum take him as I refuse to be beaten by this.

I don't really want to up my meds again, so I have started practicing mindfulness and meditation which is really helping me cope at the moment. My last "breakdown" was horrendous and much worse than I am currently going through now, so i am hoping to avoid getting into that state again. I am due to start the second year of training to be a counsellor in a few weeks and I don't want this latest flare up to stop me from doing that. It's so bloody hard trying to be strong every day though, thank you for this thread OP.

Hello everyone . I hope everyone on the thread is finding peace today and I thank you for your kind support from the bottom of my heart . I managed to go for a walk outdoors last night and ground myself. Later on I asked my dh again for an apology, he says there is nothing to apologise for.

I am more emotionally in control today, although the problems are still lurking, it's now more anxiety kicking in. Why am I not better? Why is my husband such an arse as someone put it ? It's either caused, or certainly not helping my mental health that's for sure. Why am I putting up with it? How will I cope in work? I am considering handing in my notice.